My American Meltingpot

Is Racism too Stressful to Talk About?

2012-01-27T07:43:00.000-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

My son is in the fifth grade. Recently they had to take those fill-in-the-bubble tests that supposedly test achievement. As part of the test, the kids have to fill in a bubble that describes their racial background. The teacher sent a note home saying that that requirement instigated a very thoughtful conversation about race and racism in the classroom. The take-away from the discussion, however, was that the kids believed it was just plain racist and always wrong to even talk about race. Yikes!

Faster than you can say NAACP, I was composing an email to the teacher, offering my services to come and lead a workshop to the fifth grade about how to talk about race with ease and comfort. But before I hit send, I remembered a recent study I read about on MyBrownBaby.com that suggested children need to be shielded from stress and strife as much as possible. Here's an excerpt from the article that gave me pause.

"... adolescence in particular is a vulnerable time for kids because that is when they are starting to isolate themselves from the family, meaning they have fewer supports available to them. Sinha says we need to give children time to develop their stress systems, which will provide them with the tools to deal with adversity as they become older. But if too much adversity comes at an early age, those tools will remain stunted and not fully available to them, perhaps throughout their lives."

If there's one thing I know to be stressful, it's the concept of race and racism. It stresses me out when I allow myself to think about all of the injustice in this world that comes at the hands of a racist system. On the other hand, I know that my parents did an excellent job shielding me from the ugliness of racism for almost my entire childhood and I feel I am the confident Black woman I am today because of it. My only gripe is that in "shielding" me from racism, they also shielded me from feeling any pride in my African-American heritage. I grew up feeling like I didn't belong to any particular ethnic group. I had to teach myself what it meant to be Black, a lesson I didn't start to learn until I was 18.

So, back to my own kids. Of course I want to teach them to feel proud of their heritage, both Black and Spanish. And until now, I kind of thought it was okay to give them a hearty dose of honesty when it came to the painful history and lingering injustice that permeates a colored person's life. But now I'm not so sure. I don't want to do what my parents did and act like race isn't an issue, but I also don't want to burden them with the sins of the past.

Here's what's on my agenda for this weekend. We're going to see Red Tails (the movie about the Tuskegee Airmen) and our read-aloud book is about the young Harriet Tubman. This is just coincidence but is it too much? What do you think, dear readers? How do you teach your children about race, without adding stress? I'm so listening.

Peace!

Global Good Hair

2012-01-25T13:45:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I finally got around to checking out the new Ebony.com website. There's been a lot of buzz about its new and improved design and well-written content. I'm happy to say that I was quite impressed. What's more, I loved this article called Global Good Hair (and not just because the writer references my book, Hair Story. That was just icing on the cake.) Take a look and enjoy!

Peace!

The Culture of Resistance: Be Inspired

2012-01-23T09:21:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

You know when you're feeling frustrated at your life circumstances or perhaps you're allowing yourself to indulge a bit into self-pity because sometimes things just seem to be going wrong? Not to negate the possibility of your own real-life drama, but after watching a film like, Cultures of Resistance, I dare say you will find yourselves inspired.

"CULTURES OF RESISTANCE explores how art and creativity can be ammunition in the battle for peace and justice.

Featuring: Medellín poets for peace, Capoeira masters from Brazil, Niger Delta militants, Iranian graffiti artists, women’s movement leaders in Rwanda, Lebanon’s refugee filmmakers, U.S. political pranksters, indigenous Kayapó activists from the Xingu River, Israeli dissidents, hip-hop artists from Palestine, and many more. "

I've only seen the trailer for the film and read everything I can get my hands on about it, but there is going to be a screening and discussion in Philadelphia next month that I hope to be able to attend. Truth be told, I was first attracted to the film, only because I read that the director was a Brazilian woman of Korean heritage and that intrigued me. I'm glad I investigated further because the subject matter of the film, is fascinating. Wouldn't you agree?

Cultures of Resistance: The Official Trailer from Cultures of Resistance on Vimeo.

Have any of you, dear readers, seen Cultures of Resistance? Were you inspired? Be the change you want to be!

Peace!

Calling All Mixie Artists

2012-01-20T10:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday Meltingpot Readers,

Any regular readers of this blog know I am a huge fan of the Mixed Roots Film and Literary Festival. Born five years ago, it is an amazing festival that celebrates the mixed race experience --from all angles - through literature and film. I was fortunate enough to be at the first festival and hope to be able to attend this year.

To be honest, before attending the Mixed Roots Festival, I never thought there was a unique mixed - race experience. I still saw the world in Black and White, despite the fact that I had brown children! And even then I didn't think I, as a Black woman, had a place in that experience. Somebody had to point it out to me that because my children are mixed, then I am part of the experience. So, yes, I need to be aware of what it means to be mixed. Yes,I want to know how to celebrate my children's two unique cultures in a way that makes them feel whole. And as a writer who is interested in race and identity, the mixed experience fascinates me.

The festival takes place June 16 & 17 in Los Angeles. It's totally free and offers programing appropriate for the whole family. Did I mention it's free?. Right now there's an open call for workshop, literature and film submissions. So, if you have a book or film that you'd like to screen to an amazing audience, send in your stuff. I am.

Peace!

It's Not Racist If It's About Your Own People: Old Jews Tell Jokes

2012-01-18T09:45:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

My boss is Jewish. I'm Black.

The other day, I showed him the "Shit Black Girls Say to White Girls Video." He hadn't heard about it. He watched, he laughed. He asked me how much of the phrases in the video I'd heard before. I told him, most, if not all. It was a tiny teachable moment.

Then he showed me something, a website called Old Jews Telling Jokes. I watched. I laughed. I asked him if all old Jews were funny. Turns out they are. I'm kidding. Oy! But still another tiny teachable moment for me. I'd never heard about this site, nor thought of old Jewish people in the pantheon of great comedians. Check out the website and prepare to be amused, but also to learn a little a bit too.

I think it's all about exposure, people. And humor. So, here's a (PG-13) Jewish funny for you. Enjoy.

Peace!

For Dr. King

2012-01-16T06:13:00.000-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

Believe it or not, today is my official first day back to work after my gloriously long maternity leave. (sigh) But my kids and el esposo are off working on a Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Service. For you all, whatever you have to do today, work, play, or serve, just take a moment to remember the man and his dream.

Peace!

White Girls, Black Girls: Watch the Video

2012-01-13T12:32:00.000-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

I'm only like ten days late to the party, but I finally watched the viral video that's gotten the whole world talking about race relations between White girls and Black girls. If you're as far removed from YouTube as I am and haven't seen the video, take a peek.

Okay, what did you think? Me? I am still laughing. I just think it's high-larious, mostly because almost everything parodied in the video, I've had someone say to me. That's what makes it funny to me, because I can totally relate. I've heard some people find the clip racist, which I think is misguided. I can understand if people might think it's offensive, but not racist. Mostly, I hope the video simply does what Franchesca Ramsey intended, which is to get people comfortable talking about race. (Thanks This Nigerian-American Life for making me finally watch.)

So, dear readers, what's your take on the video? Is it funny or does it offend? Is it any worse than the average stand-up comedy routine? Do you think it will have any effect on race relations between Blacks and Whites? And why have four million people tuned in to watch?

I'm listening.

Peace!

"The Tooth Fairy Left Me a Euro!:" The Benefits of Bicultural Family Life

2012-01-11T09:12:00.000-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

I have a confession to make. The Tooth Fairy in our Kinky Gazpacho household is a bit absentminded. Sometimes she forgets to come. There have been occasions when it has taken the Tooth Fairy four nights before she showed up to pick up a precious tooth.

Lucky for el esposo and I, our children are extremely forgiving. In fact, they usually resort to the naughty or nice Santa play book and assume the reason the Tooth Fairy has been lax in her duties is because of something they've done wrong. I don't exactly deny their assumptions because it usually gets them to correct any deviant behavior they've been displaying without any reminders from me. It's a win-win situation.

Well, the other day, my seven-year old lost his first top tooth. It had been wobbly and dangling for ages and it finally popped out in the midst of a pillow fight with his brother. Needless to say, the excitement for the Tooth Fairy to come was high, as evidenced by his delicate placing of the tooth under his pillow and placing himself flush against the wall as far away from said tooth as possible. "So the Tooth Fairy doesn't have to move my heavy head when she comes," my son explained in all seriousness. (Please note: my kids are 'dentally immature' and at seven and a half, this is only his second lost tooth.)

So, el esposo and I both smiled at this cute child and promised ourselves with a shared look over his head that the Tooth Fairy would absolutely come that night.

But we forgot! I'd like to say it was because something came up, but really, we're just bad.

So the next night, el esposo and I knew we couldn't mess up again. We couldn't disappoint this hopeful child of ours. Once all of the children were fast asleep, I turned to el esposo and implored him not to forget to place the dollar under the child's pillow.
"I don't have a dollar," el esposo said.
"I don't either," I said, panicking. I checked my phone for the time. It was after 10pm. It was freezing outside. And I already had my jammies on. I searched through all of my pockets, the bottom of my purse, but all I came up with was lint and an old piece of gum.
"Can we give him a dollar in pennies?" I asked, eyeing our jar of coins we'd been saving for over a year.
El esposo nixed that idea.
I opened my music box where I sometimes hide money for emergencies. It was filled with money. But it was all foreign from my travels.
"Can we give him a Euro?" I asked, half joking.
El esposo grabbed a coin from my stash. "He's getting a Euro and we'll tell him el Ratoncito Perez brought it from Spain."
(Yes, in Spain the Tooth Fairy is a mouse.)
I didn't know if my son would buy this, but I didn't have any other options.

The next morning, this is what I heard.: "The Tooth Fairy left me a Euro!"
He didn't care that the money was from another country. In fact, when he found out the Euro is worth more than a dollar, he was even more excited. He thought the Tooth Fairy loved him more since she gave him the equivalent of say, $1.25 USD. He promptly added the coin to his piggy bank and announced. "Now I have money for when we go to Spain." And then he started wiggling his other front tooth.

Ahh, the benefits of living in a bicultural household. What does the Tooth Fairy leave your children? I read this great article in the New York Times recently about alternative Tooth Fairy ideas and got a chuckle. You might too.

Peace!

Black Women in Paris: A New Novel Takes You There

2012-01-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

I've only been to Paris a couple of times for short, day-long visits. But I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that the city has fascinated and called me to her for years. Josephine Baker was my first inspiration, as well as many of the Black artists and writers who sought solace and inspiration in France when America's preoccupation with race became too much. Lately, I've been dreaming about taking my kids to Paris. It could happen.

Well, with Paris deeply on my mind, you can imagine my delight and surprise to stumble on author Jacqueline Luckett's new novel, Passing Love. It's a story about two Black American women at two different times in history, who chase their destiny in the City of Lights.

Here's a description of the book from Luckett's website:

"Nicole-Marie Handy has loved all things French since she was a child. After the death of her best friend, determined to get out of her rut, she goes to Paris, leaving behind a marriage proposal. While there, Nicole chances upon an old photo of her father-lovingly inscribed, in his hand, to a woman Nicole has never heard of. What starts as a vacation quickly becomes an investigation into his relationship to this mystery woman. Moving back and forth in time between the sparkling Paris of today and the jazz-fueled city filled with expatriates in the 1950s, Passing Love is the story of two women dealing with lost love, secrets, and betrayal...and how the City of Light may hold all of the answers. "

Sounds good, doesn't it? But there's more to the story than that. Check out the excellent review from Publisher's Weekly to find out more about what the story really deals with; race, the expat experience, family secrets. Also, check out the great Q&A with Luckett on the White Readers Meet Black Authors website.

Oh, it sound like the perfect book to start off 2012. What about you dear readers? What book will start off your 2012? I'm listening.

Peace!

Happy to be Nappy?: Not in Brazil

2012-01-06T06:43:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I've got another hair story for you. This time coming from our sisters in South America. In Brazil to be exact. My co-author from Hair Story, Ayana Byrd, tipped me off to this incredible story from the website BlackWomenofBrazil. Be prepared to be outraged.

Apparently, after two decades in the Brazilian court system, Sony Music has finally been ordered to pay damages for a song they released that was deemed racist and offensive to Black women. Now I expected to read about a song that perhaps used a version of the N-word in Portuguese or had violent lyrics directed towards women. But nothing I could have imagined could have prepared me for the lyrics in this song. Here take a look for yourselves:

"A representative for Sony maintained that the song was not intended to offend women and that the artist was in fact alluding to his own wife in the song and that the terms used in the song are used by Brazilians in reference to not only black women but white women as well."

Below are some of the lyrics of the song in Portuguese and English:

Veja veja veja veja veja os cabelos dela (4x)
(Look look look look look at her hair (4x)

Parece bom-bril*, de ariá panela
(It looks like a scouring pad for pots and pans)

Parece bom-bril, de ariá panela
(It looks like a scouring pad for pots and pans)

Quando ela passa, me chama atenção
(When she goes by, she catches my attention)

Mas os seus cabelos, não tem jeito não
(But her hair just isn’t right)

A sua catinga quase me desmaiou
(Her stench almost made me faint)

Olha eu não aguento, é grande o seu fedor
(Look, I can’t take it, her smell is so bad)

Veja veja veja veja veja os cabelos dela
(Look look look look look at her hair)

Parece bom-bril, de ariá panela (2x)
(It looks like a scouring pad for pots and pans) (2x)

Eu já mandei, ela se lavar
(I told her to take a bath)

Mas ela teimo, e não quis me escutar
(But she’s stubborn and doesn’t listen to me)

Essa nega fede, fede de lascar
(This black woman stinks, she stinks horribly)

Bicha fedorenta, fede mais que gambá
(Stinking beast, smells worse than a skunk)

I know. It's revolting. I can't believe this was a 'popular' tune released by a major music corporation like Sony. I also can't believe a man with a Black mother -- yes you heard me -- could pen such insulting lyrics. Really? To read the whole sordid tale of the song and the lawsuit, please visit the Black Women in Brazil website. And then go rinse the vomit out of your mouth.

Happy Friday.

Peace!

Hair We Go Again: Kinky, Curly, Straight

2012-01-04T07:50:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Babygirl is now five-months old. She's getting to that super cute stage where she actually smiles and giggles in response to the silly voices and animated faces adults can't help but make in her chubby-cheeked presence. But she's still rather pale and her hair is still jet black and silky straight. In other words, she still looks nothing like her mama.

But I'm okay with that. None of my kids look like me exactly. They are true mixies. But it's funny how people give voice to their observations. Nobody wants to come out and say, gee your daughter sure looks White. It's always about the hair.

To wit. Some recent comments:

"Where did she get that hair?"

"Her hair is so black!" (Note, my hair is black too)

"Um, do all of your children have such, um, 'soft' hair?"

"It's unbelievable, that hair. I mean your other kids have such curly hair. Is her hair really going to stay straight?"

Dear readers, I point these comments out, not because they anger me, because, if I'm honest, I'm thinking about babygirl's hair too. It is truly amazing to me, as both a mother and a 'hairstorian,' that I could give birth to three children with such different hair. I got kinky, curly and straight (although babygirl's is still in transition.) Visually, the difference in textures is quite dramatic. But socially and culturally too, I find it fascinating that it is the hair that really causes people to doubt/question/marvel at babygirl's heritage. Out loud. Her light complexion can be overlooked, but the hair seems to be the true marker of negritude. And since she doesn't have it (yet) then perhaps she's not really Black?

Historically, the hair has been used to define people's racial category --not only in the United States but in South Africa as well. When the one-drop rule cannot be applied, you can just check the kinks and curls on top of the head. In antebellum America, male slaves with light complexions would shave their heads to --get rid of the evidence -- and pass as White. In South Africa, government officials would stick a pencil into a child's hair. If the pencil didn't fall out when the child shook their head -- because their kinks were so tight -- then they were officially categorized as Black. So, I get it. We've been conditioned over generations to believe that the hair speaks the truth. The hair is the key to our racial identity.

But I'm not thinking in these terms about babygirl. Really, I'm just wondering what kind of comb I'm going to have to buy and if I should start practicing now, learning how to braid silky, straight hair!

I'm wondering. Did any of you have to 'learn' how to do your children's hair because it was so different from your own? You know I want to hear those hair stories.

I'm so listening.

Peace!

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T13:27:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

The Meltingpot will return on Wednesday, January 4. Happy New Year!

Nanny Drama-o-Rama: When My Life Imitates My Art

2011-12-28T08:33:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

So, I wrote novel last year, called Substitute Me. The story is about a young woman, Kate, who places an advertisement in the paper for a nanny for her young son so she can return to work after her maternity leave. The ad she places begins :

"Substitute Me: Looking for a nanny who will take care of my six-month-old baby as if her were her own...."

Zora, a 30-year-old woman who has yet to find her purpose in the world, answers the ad and soon becomes the perfect nanny, a perfect substitute for Kate ... in more than just child care. And drama ensues.

So, here I am one year later, in Kate's position. My maternity leave is about to expire and I must find someone to love babygirl as if she were her own. And I'm as freaked out about the prospect as I was ten years ago when my first son was born and the idea for Substitute Me was hatched. Only this time, I've written the damn novel and gave life to my worst fears and imaginings.

I'm looking at my life now and laughing at the existential life imitating art imitating life scenario I find myself in. Can you imagine my hysterical giggle fit when my nanny candidate list came down to hot Brazilian student versus African-American grandmother from my church? You can guess who I'm rooting for, right?

At the end of the day, I just want to avoid the whole issue of hiring a "nanny." I don't even like the word nanny. Back in Milwaukee, where I grew up, we didn't have nannies. We had babysitters. The only nanny I knew was Maria from The Sound of Music. Oh, wait she was a governess. So, yeah, nannies don't sit well with me. The woman I hire, will be a care giver. I will hope that she loves babygirl and I hope I can love her in return for that precious gift.

I'm just so thankful that the job I have allows me to be home for long summers and at least one day during the week. I know I am lucky. And if the care-giver thing doesn't work out, babygirl will just have to sit under my desk.

What about you meltingpot moms? Did you or do you use a nanny? Did you have any fears about hiring someone to care for your child? Do you love your nanny? I want to hear about it.

I'm listening.

Peace!

When White Mennonites Adopt Black Children

2011-12-26T12:43:00.000-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

I hope all of you who celebrate Christmas had a joyous and peaceful holiday yesterday. I did. And I'm still basking in the holiday glow. In other words, today I'm enjoying the peace of the day after the holiday, when there's no place that I have to be, no presents I have to wrap, and last night's leftovers are filling my fridge so I don't even have to cook. Ahh...

But of course I didn't want to leave you, my faithful readers, without your daily dish of Meltingpot goodness. Here's an interesting article that graced the cover of today's Philadelphia Inquirer about Black Mennonites, specifically about Black children who are adopted into White Mennonite families. It's an excellent read and of course raises more questions than it answers.

Take a look and let me know what you think.

Peace!

MultiCultural Holiday Traditions

2011-12-21T06:04:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

If you're in the Philadelphia area, please tune in to the WHYY radio program Radio Times today from 11am -12pm. (You can also listen via computer from anywhere in the world.) They are doing a show on the changing multicultural trends of the holiday season and I'll be one of the featured guests. I'll be joined by a sociologist named Noah Leavitt, who is studying Jewish - Asian couples. Should be a very meltingpot friendly show. And you can call in with your own stories of multi-culti holiday traditions.

So, this time, I hope you're listening!

Peace!

Music Monday: "Tell Me if You're with Me or Against Me"

2011-12-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

The whirlwind of the holidays has caught up with me. Every year I think I'm going to get better at planning and preparing. Every year I think I'm going to have a party, make dozens of cookies (without flour ), get my holiday cards sent before December 15 and look like Martha Stewart in the process. Instead, my house is devoid of any Christmas cheer, my oven is on the fritz and ask me if I've even addressed a single envelope.

But, I'm not complaining. Today in the Kinky Gazpacho household, we start making Christmas. We're going shopping. I decided if the oven doesn't work, we'll make rice krispie treats (no wheat there) and I'll have the kids address the envelopes. Whew. But that means I don't have much time to write, so I'm leaving you instead with a video of one of my favorite Spanish songs. Thanks to el esposo, I actually figured out the name of the artist. The name of the song is Kamikaze and the singer is Amaral. Imagine me listening to this song to keep me energized through the madness.

I hope you like it.

Do you have a go-to song to keep you sane when things get hectic. Please share!

I'm totally listening.

Peace!

Small Island: The Movie

2011-12-16T07:42:00.000-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

Happy Friday.

As you know, I am a devoted Grey's Anatomy fan. Well, Grey's is on hiatus until 2012 so my Thursday nights have felt empty of late. So, I decided to find a movie to watch that would take my mind off the shenanigans of the doctor's at Seattle Grace. Of course, I went to my local library and scoured the DVD shelves for something delicious and I found it. A three-hour long BBC adaptation of Andrea Levy's award-winning novel, Small Island! I loved that book. As you faithful readers will recall, Levy was the one who started my serious love affair with Jamaican authors.

Small Island is about a lot of things; love, broken dreams, race, war, and the resilience of the human spirit to name a few. But if you want a basic plot description, it's about two couples, one White and one Black, one English and one Jamaican, and how their lives crash, collide and co-mingle during and just after WWII in London. I don't think I've ever said this before, but I loved the film as much as I loved the book. As I think back on it, I can't say the scenery was all that spectacular and they obviously had to cut much of the book out of the film, and yet I still found myself enraptured for the entire three hours because the actors were just that good. Really. They were all quite spellbinding. They truly brought Levy's characters to life. When it was over I cried, because it has kind of a sad ending, but also because I wanted to keep watching. Seriously, I already miss Gilbert, Hortense, Queenie and Bernard.

Lucky for me, the BBC is my kind of network. On the webpage for the film, there are plenty of links to follow for more information about the actors, the characters they play in the film and, best of all, first-person profiles of real Jamaicans who came to England post WWII, like the fictitious Hortense and Gilbert Joseph.

If you can find a copy of this film at your local library or perhaps you can order it online, it's worth it. At the very least, pick up the book if you haven't already.

So, does anyone have any other recommendations for BBC programs I should watch? I'm thinking about trying to find Zadie Smith's White Teeth? What do you think?

I'm listening.

Peace!

International Adoption Can Make the Holidays Taste Sweeter

2011-12-14T06:27:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Here's a link to a story I wrote for today's Philadelphia Inquirer about how families with internationally adopted children incorporate their children's heritage into the holidays.

It was great fun doing all of the interviews and hearing how different families, like the Braydon-McCormicks, mesh all of the cultures represented in their multi-culti clans during the Christmas season. Of course, because this was a newspaper article, I didn't get to include half the information I wanted to, given the limited space. For one, I would have liked to include more details about just how thoughtful these different families are in their celebrations. It's not like they just hang up some extra ornaments on the tree and call it a day. I also would have liked to include some Jewish families with adopted children in the story as well. Maybe next time.

The main nugget of truth I walked away with after talking to all of these great people, was that an adopted child's heritage isn't just acknowledged on special occasions and holidays. It becomes the family's heritage. As one of the mother's I interviewed, Kate Rupertus, said. "Our family is now Irish, Italian and Ethiopian." And that was evidenced by the beautiful Ethiopian decorations in their home as well as the fact that on St. Patrick's day, all of the kids go green. In other words, the child isn't just adopted into the family, his culture is too.

Makes my heart sing. I love these meltingpot moments.

Peace!

Asians Passing for White

2011-12-12T12:21:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

My friend Jesse Washington, recently penned an interesting article for the Associated Press on a fairly recent trend of Asian students trying to "hide" their Asian heritage when applying to college. Although most colleges would deny it, there seems to be a higher threshold Asian applicants have to meet in regards to their grade point average and SAT scores. Since Asian students in general out perform Whites, Blacks, Latinos and Native Americans on tests and in grades, in order for colleges not to have a disproportionate number of Asians in their classes, they make it harder for them to get in. Or at least that seems to be the case. Most schools don't want to go on the record saying this is true. But students, parents and high school guidance counselors seem to think it is and thus this new trend.

So, how does one hide the fact that they are Asian? Well, a person can not check the "race box" on the application, but an Asian surname pretty much ruins that trick. So, who is really playing the race game here? It's the kids who only have one Asian parent. The Asian mixies. The Hapas, if you will. The ones who can "pass for White," as did the handful of kids interviewed in the story.

On the one hand, I feel for any kid who is discriminated against because of his ethnic background. Especially if that discrimination comes from über achievement! How does that feel? 'Uh, We're sorry but you and your people are just too smart. We don't want you here at our institution of higher learning.' (sigh)

But on the other hand, the meltingpot in me chafes at the idea that these kids are passing for White. And my discomfort with it has nothing to do with college admissions. Any time a person feels the need to cover up/hide/deny the colored part of their heritage in order to get ahead, is a tragedy. I don't have any solutions to offer these kids in this horrible predicament, but I know for a fact that lying about who you are can never lead to good things.

So Meltingpot readers, what do you think Asian kids should do when facing discrimination in the admissions process? What do you think our colleges and universities should do to address the problem? And, should a kid with only one Asian parent, be placed in the same category of Asian as the kid with two? Isn't this tricky?

I'm totally listening.

Peace!

Rachel Crow has My Vote: The New Mixie Making Music

2011-12-09T11:58:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I don't know how many of you have been watching the X Factor on TV these days. I've been catching a show here and there. My boys and I watched the auditions because they're always fun, but honestly I haven't been really paying attention. Until last night. I caught the last twenty minutes of the show and watched the cutest little kid get voted off. From what I witnessed, she out sang the other dude by far and it is a shame she didn't make the cut. Apparently, thousands of little Rachel's growing fan base also believes she shouldn't have been eliminated and have been making their opinions known all over cyberspace.

I'm sure, Hollywood being Hollywood, Rachel Crow is still going to get a recording contract, probably a movie deal and perhaps even her own line of perfumes. Or perhaps she'll be the new spokesperson for Kinky Curly hair products. I for one, would be happy to see a tween/teen star with brown skin, curly hair, and a great personality. On the other hand, after all this excitement and her very emotional breakdown on the show last night, maybe the best thing for Rachel at this point would be to go back to being a regular kid for awhile. You know, rest and regroup. Because even if America voted otherwise, the Meltingpot knows Rachel Crow is going to be a star.

Peace!

A White Woman and a Black Man Walk into a Church in Kentucky...

2011-12-07T06:51:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

So did you hear about the church in Kentucky that recently decided to ban interracial couples from joining their congregation? If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a brief article from the Huffington Post to catch you up on the shenanigans.

My favorite part of that story is that the church board decided that interracial couples could attend church services but could not officially join the congregation, nor participate in church activities, "except for funerals." Why funerals I wonder? Does death trump racism? Or maybe a funeral, just ain't a funeral without a negro in attendance? I'm just wondering.

But before anyone gets really angry, there's good news up ahead. Once the church members discovered that it was against state and federal law to ban interracial couples from the church, they decided their previous vote didn't count. Now, everyone is welcome to worship at the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church. Don't you feel better now? I'm sure there's going to be a long line of colored folks banging on those church doors asking to praise the Lord with the fine folks at Gulnare who have recently seen the light.

Okay, I'm going to get serious here for a second. One, I'm not surprised that this happened. I'm not surprised because I know that racism is still very much alive in this country and the world. I know that many people -- of all colors and stripes -- believe that folks should just stick with their own kind when it comes to marriage.

But I'm going to try to sympathize with this congregation, give them the benefit of the doubt. Gulnare Free Will Baptist is a tiny church in Appalachia. Now, I'm no Appalachian expert, but I do know that there aren't a ton of Black people in them thar hills. It's very easy to stay rooted in ignorance and stereotypes when there's nobody around to challenge your belief system. Perhaps now that their peculiar brand of "ignorance" has been shown to the world and they have been shamed, they will begin to change their ways. Maybe. I said, maybe.

Here's a clip from the church's pastor who suggests that maybe that will happen.

What do you think? Can anything good come from this painful moment? Like what? And is anyone else wondering if the young White woman who dragged her African fiance to the church truly believed that the congregation would welcome her with open arms? Or was she just hoping to heat things up and bring the church into the 21st century?

I'm so totally listening.

Peace!

Diversity Reigns at the National Book Awards

2011-12-05T07:29:00.001-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

I'm a little late in posting this, but still I have to use this space to honor and celebrate the winners of the 2011 National Book Awards. The winners are:

FICTION: Jesmyn Ward, Salvage the Bones (Bloomsbury USA)

NONFICTION: Stephen Greenblatt, The Swerve: How the World Became Modern
(W. W. Norton & Company)

POETRY: Nikky Finney, Head Off & Split
(TriQuarterly, an imprint of Northwestern University Press)

YOUNG PEOPLE'S LITERATURE: Thanhha Lai, Inside Out & Back Again
(Harper, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers)

It was such a joy to see this list of winners as, they finally seem representative of America's diversity. Jesmyn Ward and Nikky Finney are Black women. Thannhha Lai is an Asian woman. Stephen Greenblatt is obviously a man. I don't believe that award winners should be selected based on their race or gender, but it seems to me that the best books in the United States would be written by a variety of people who reflect the true scope of the 'American experience.'

And for the first time in a long time, I'm truly excited to read every single one of the award-winning books. They will top my TBR list for 2012.

What about you Meltingpot readers? Have any of you already read the works of the winning authors? What did you think? Any suggestions on what book I should read first? I'm listening.

And in the meantime, you can listen (and watch) Ms. Nikky Finney's acceptance speech for her book of poetry, Head Off & Split. The actor John Lithgow said it was the "best acceptance speech for anything" he's ever heard in his life.

Peace!

Her Words as Witness: Women Writers of the African Diaspora

2011-12-02T19:25:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

If anyone is in the New York City area and wants to go see a truly unique exhibit, they should check out photographer, Laylah Amatullah Barrayn's latest solo show, Her Words as Witness: Women Writers of the African Diaspora at Restoration Plaza's Skylight Gallery in Brooklyn.

It just opened and I haven't been yet, but just the idea of a visual exhibit honoring 35 contemporary Black female writers from around the world-- many of whom are friends and muses of mine -- makes me want to hop the next train back to Brooklyn.

Some of the writers featured include, Edwidge Danticat, Sonia Sanchez, Bernice McFadden and Elizabeth Alexander. The exhibit runs through March 31, 2012. For more information and an inspiring taste from the opening reception, check out the slide show on Patch.com.

Enjoy the weekend.

Peace!

Organic Moonshine Roots Music: Introducing Valerie June

2011-11-30T07:45:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Whenever I discover a new creative crush, I always want to share the love. Well, people, I am in love. I was doing some research on the on-line natural hair movement and stumbled across a website called The Coil Review. Apparently the Coil Review features interviews with women who have something to say about natural hair but also have something extra-ordinary going on in their lives as well. I clicked on an interview with a singer I'd never heard of before named, Valerie June.

Just listening to the interview, without hearing her sing a single note, I knew I'd love her voice. Not one to easily categorize, June says she sings, "organic moonshine roots music." Just the poetry in that self-created label and the southern twang in her husky voice had me hooked. When I searched on line for samples of her music, I was immediately enraptured. Take a listen.

What do you think? Doesn't her voice remind you of pancakes, corn grits and sunflowers on a Sunday morning? I'm just so supremely thrilled I discovered her now, just when I thought the X-factor and American Idol had completely destroyed the idea of originality in music. Has anybody else been a Valerie June fan for awhile and want to tell me something about her that I don't know?

I'm totally listening.

Peace.

Food for Thought and Music Monday All Together Now!

2011-11-28T09:06:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday as much as I did. You know how we continued the good feelings of our T-day meal? We ate some more. On Saturday night, the night before everyone flew back to their respective homes, we gathered for a Jamaican feast, cooked by my aunt's 'manpanion,' who hails from Kingston. He's almost 80 years old, but the man can throw down in the kitchen. We ate ackee and codfish, jerk neck bones, boiled bananas, fried plantains, callaloo, rice and avocados. For appetizer, there was roti stuffed with curry potatoes. Oh my god, I ate myself silly.

Folks don't believe me when I say I'm from Milwaukee and I have such a diverse family. They think Milwaukee is all White and devoid of color, but that's not exactly true. Milwaukee is incredibly segregated, but diversity there is. Before we sat down to enjoy this island feast, we blessed the food in all of the languages represented in my aunt's home that night. We heard blessings in Arabic, Hebrew, Hindi, Spanish, and Jamaican English (I made that up, but I'm not sure what the correct term for the distinct Jamaican language/dialect. Please don't crucify me. But feel free to enlighten me.). It made my kinky gazpacho heart sing.

And while I can't give you a taste of that delicious meal, I can leave you with a song to make your hearts sing. Enjoy!

My Beef with Bridesmaids

2011-11-25T14:46:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. I did. We ate, a lot. We laughed and talked and just enjoyed being with family. And then we came home, put the kids to bed and watched a movie. My parents have cable so we had a wide selection of films to choose from. Seven of us were watching and the consensus was to see the film Bridesmaids.

Trust me in that I wasn't expecting anything revolutionary or even that spectacular. I just expected a good laugh. And people, I laughed. A lot. There were some really hilarious one-liners and physical comedy. The story line was quite predictable but it was about as intricate as my food-addled brain could handle last night.

But here's the problem I did have. Here's what pissed me off. The bride in Bridesmaids was played by Maya Rudolph. Maya Rudolph is mixed, some might just call her Black, because her mother --who happens to be the singer, Minnie Ripperton -- was Black. In the movie, they made her father Black. He appeared in the film in two brief scenes, other than that, this was the whitest movie ever. In other words, the movie's conceit was that here you have this Mixed chick with a dreadlocked Black father, yet all of her friends and even her fiance are White. Not a single bridesmaid is Black. That means she has no Black friends. Ok, that's possible. But that would mean she also had no Black family. Maybe her father was an orphan?

So, we can put Maya Rudolph in a movie, but we're going to pretend that her cinnamon brown skin is irrelevant. Why, Hollywood? Black actresses can't even play second-string bridesmaids? I am pulling out my hair as I write this. And this isn't about affirmative-action casting. I'm not saying that every movie should have Black people in it. If this was a movie about a White bride, I wouldn't be saying, she SHOULD have at least one Black friend. But this film featured a Black bride --granted she was from Milwaukee. Statistically speaking, there would more than likely be at least one colored girl in the mix.

Am I crazy? Someone talk me down here.

In the meantime, enjoy this clip from Maya's mom, Minne Ripperton.

Peace!

Fiji for the Holidays

2011-11-23T10:57:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Are you all whipping up your Thanksgiving goodies? I'm going to get started in a just a few minutes. Have I mentioned that Thanksgiving is hands down my favorite holiday? It has nothing to do with the whitewashed Pilgrims and Indians breaking bread together fantasy, but rather the simple pleasure of making a gorgeous meal and spending time with family. Love it!

And in true kinky gazpacho style, this year our Thanksgiving meal will be a feast from Fiji. Yes, Fiji. Turns out my mother has "adopted" a new daughter who fell out with her family in Fiji and now lives in Wisconsin. To show her appreciation for being welcomed into our great big family, she's hosting Thanksgiving this year. So far on the menu, I know we're having three kinds of curries, lamb, chicken and egg, and roti. Yum.

Of course we are bringing some traditional 'kinky' to the feast, a turkey, a ham, sweet potato pies and collard greens. It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without the sharing of cultures and traditions, right?

So, what will you all be eating tomorrow? Please share. You know I'm listening.

Peace and Happy Thanksgiving!

Meltingpot Movie Review: Desert Flower

2011-11-21T08:57:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

How many of you know the name Waris Dirie? Do you know why she is famous? Admittedly, I didn't either until watching the movie, Desert Flower which is based on her life story.

To some, Dirie is the famous Somali supermodel, discovered mopping floors at a McDonald's in London, but her fame and influence go much deeper than that. While her rags to riches story from child of a nomadic clan in eastern Somalia to world-famous supermodel and actress is fascinating to behold, it's what she does with her fame and influence that is truly inspiring.

As a 'victim' of female genital circumcision, Dirie was plagued with illness and pain her entire life. (Dear Lord, I'm making it sound like she's dead. She's not. She's very much alive.) After achieving a level of fame and fortune in Europe and the United States, she used her platform to speak out against the practice and to bring worldwide attention to the plight of so many women around the world who suffer and die because of the belief that a woman is unclean with her lady parts intact. Dirie eventually became a UN Special Ambassador for the Elimination of Female Genital Mutilation and set up her own foundation, the Desert Flower Foundation.

Which brings me back to the movie, Desert Flower. Of course, I picked up the DVD at my local library, but the film had already been on my radar. It wasn't just the pretty yellow cover that caught my eye. Now that you know Dirie's story, you're probably intrigued about the film, but is it worth watching, you wonder? Yes! Waris is played by Ethiopian supermodel, Liya Kebede and she brings such an innocence and physical beauty to the role, I was enraptured at first sight of her on the screen.

Actually, the whole film is beautiful, from the first shots in "Somalia" (I'm not sure if they were actually filming in Somalia) to the brief glimpses of haute couture on the catwalk. And while you already know the "ending," there's still enough suspense and cliff hangers to keep this from being just another movie of the week. What's more, Dirie's 'happy ending' story is simply a wonderful catalyst to open the discussion about the role of women and their perpetual subjugation the world over.

All told, I really enjoyed the film and recommend it as both entertainment and education. If you want to know more about Dirie's life and work, visit her foundation website, Desert Flower and this website which details the many subsequent books, films and projects Dirie has been involved in over the years. It is impressive. For now, check out the trailer.

Peace.

"Jafaicans" Making Reggae Music?

2011-11-18T06:43:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I was in my car the other day, listening to NPR when this very interesting segment came on about non-Jamaican artists dominating the reggae music scene. In fact, according to this story, European and Hawaiian reggae bands are more popular worldwide these days than Jamaican acts. And make no mistake, these are not transplanted West Indians living abroad, these are native Europeans and Hawaiians(Americans), aka, they're White. And therein lies the rub. Dubbed "Jafaicans" by some, the popularity and commercial success of these artists is making some people cry cultural appropriation.

So, can a group of White guys from Germany or Italy really sing reggae music? Do they have the right to? And is it fair? Does anyone actually own the right to reggae? Would Bob Marley approve? Well, his record label apparently does, as Italian reggae super star, Alborosie is represented by Marley's Tuff Gong label.

I am not a reggae expert by any means. I enjoy listening to reggae music, especially live when sitting on a beach in Jamaica with a fruity drink in my hand, but that's about the extent of my involvement. Still, it must be noted that though reggae music has its roots in Jamaica, it wasn't created out of a Black power or spiritual movement. The music came first and then it was adapted and adopted for protest and consciousness raising over social and political issues. But reggae songs can be about any thing, so one could say it can be sung and appreciated by any body. Right?

Here's a link to the story as it ran on NPR. Please take a listen. It's a fascinating piece. Let me know what you think?

And to take you into the weekend, enjoy this video by Italian-born, Alborosie.

One Love.

Peace!

"Kissing Outside the Lines:" A Meltingpot Book Review

2011-11-16T08:04:00.001-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

If you recall a while back, I mentioned I'd be reading and reviewing TV actress, Diane Farr's new book, Kissing Outside the Lines: A True Story of Love and Race and Happily Ever After. So, I read it. And it's taken me a moment to decide what I want to say about it. But now I know.

First, I want to say that Farr has penned a very readable and in some parts, quite hilarious book about her experience meeting and marrying her Korean-American husband. Farr has no problem laughing at herself and sharing some of her most embarrassing moments. For that reason alone, one immediately becomes engaged in the story. In addition, I applaud her efforts at sharing her experience as a White woman marrying into a Korean family and sharing the stories of other interracial and/or intercultural couples. As a member of a mixie tribe myself, I love hearing how other people are living the life.

But here's the problem with the book. Farr's premise that she's shedding light on a topic that remains hidden in the 21st century -- that topic being that people don't want their kids to marry someone outside of their race -- is old news. In the clip below from the Today Show, Farr says about her reasons for writing the book, "[This] is the last prejudice we don't talk about." In other words, after being shunned by her Korean husband's family because she is White, Farr realized that people are secretly prejudiced and it was up to her to tell the world about it.

Watch.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Sorry to say, Ms. Farr, but it is only because you have pretty much lived your life without being judged by the color of your skin (except for an incident in elementary school where it seems Farr was beat up for being half Italian) that you are shocked by the racism that people all over the world still exhibit.

So, back to the book. It was hard for me to stay engaged in the story, despite Farr's gift for the gab, because I was kind of going 'duh' throughout the whole thing. And because after awhile, I wanted to shake Farr and say, "They (her Korean in-laws) don't dislike you because you're White, they dislike you because you're not Korean!" That's a whole different ball of wax. I think this book could have been saved if Farr had simply decided to write a cute little memoir about integrating her new Korean family, instead of trying to tell the rest of us what we already know about interracial relationships. They're complicated. Some people are mean. And despite the obstacles, sometimes people can live happily ever after.

The Meltingpot grade: Nice Try

Has anybody else read Kissing Outside the Lines? I'd love to hear your opinion.

Peace!

It's About the Children, Stupid!: Penn State and the Politics of Football

2011-11-14T07:49:00.001-08:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

I am so angry. And disgusted. Of course I am talking about the so-called, "Penn State Scandal." First, let me begin by saying, I'm not a big football fan. In fact, I watch on average, one football game a season and that game is the Super Bowl. And really, I'm only watching it for the commercials and the excuse to eat pork rinds and nacho cheese dip without anybody looking at me funny. So, naturally, when I heard about a big scandal with the Penn State football program, I didn't pay a whole lot of attention.

I remember hearing something about young boys, and a failure for the university to act appropriately, blah, blah, blah, but mostly I heard about the importance of football to Penn State and to the entire state of Pennsylvania. And I certainly heard one man's name repeatedly, Joe Paterno. I don't care that much about football, remember, so this whole 'scandal' barely penetrated my world. The next thing I heard, this 84-year old Paterno guy, the beloved football coach at Penn State, was issuing an apology and promising to retire at the end of this season because he realized he'd done wrong. People, at that point, I figured we'd come to an end of whatever this scandal had wrought.

So, over the weekend, more information started leaking out. Something about multiple people catching the coach 'assaulting' a young boy in the showers at Penn State but doing nothing about it. Or they told someone but nothing was ever done about it. So, then I started getting intrigued. I mean all the talk and the media coverage was about the football program and Joe Paterno and the football program, but you put the football down and there's a man 'assaulting' a 10-year old boy in the showers at a state university. Was it Joe Paterno? No. The man doing the 'assaulting' was the assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky. Where was his name in all the headlines?

I think more than anything I am enraged at the media coverage of this atrocious situation. Why are we reading headline after headline about Joe Paterno --clearly he is guilty of many things -- but the evil elephant in the middle of the room is Jerry Sandusky. He is accused of molesting and RAPING little boys (at last count there were 40) many of them poor and Black? Why is this not the main story? I expected full coverage in the Sunday New York Times, but The Times put the story in the Sports pages and talked about, you guessed it, football.

Perhaps because Sandusky is considered innocent until proven guilty, we have to tread lightly, but come on, more than three people reported seeing him raping little boys in the public showers. Rape people. Ten year-old boys were being raped at an institution of higher learning. And we're talking about football? If you want to throw up your breakfast, read the list of accusations against Sandusky here. He is a pedophile who apparently used his charity organization to get access to vulnerable boys. He gave them gifts, made them promises and then asked for thanks in sexual favors.

If I were one of Sandusky's victims, or one of their parents, I'd be really angry at the emphasis on football. It's about the children, stupid.

Sound off in the comments section, if you think the media is paying too much attention to Penn State's football program and not highlighting the real crimes that were committed.

I'm angry and I'm listening.

Peace!

Hair Story 2.0: Add Your Voice to the Black Hair Revolution

2011-11-11T07:30:00.001-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

You know there's nothing I like more than a good hair story. When I sat down to write my master's thesis in graduate school, almost 15 years ago, I was so excited to delve into the history and drama behind the relationship Black people had with their hair. Clearly my excitement was shared by many others, including my co-author Ayana Byrd and the thousands of people who have read our book and begged us for more information.

Well, it's been ten years since Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America debuted and even we think it's time for an update. Think of everything that's happened in the world of Black hair in the last decade. Willow Smith and her whipped hair. Don Imus and his nappy naughtiness, the entire world of online Black hair bloggers. Hello afrobella! And let's not forget the Sesame Street muppet who loves her hair.

We've written a proposal, we've done the research, we've planned the party even, but there's one little problem. Our publisher, St. Martin's Press hasn't quite gotten the message that there's a public waiting for Hair Story 2.0. Without going too much into publishing babble, the truth is, since the book came out so long ago, all of the publicists and editors originally attached to Hair Story no longer work with the company. So our little book that could is kind of an orphan over there. But just like that little red-headed orphan who charmed her very own Daddy Warbucks, we know we can prove to the head honchos at St. Martin's that this book needs an update (and a digital version too!). Because after all, the sun will come out....

And that's where you come in, dear readers. If you take a gander to the right of this post and scroll down a bit, I've added a facebook like button where you can 'like' our Hair Story 2.0 page. We're trying to get 10,000 likes by the end of November to show St. Martin's just how many folks are interested in the project. So, all you have to do is tap that little button and ask your friends to tap it too. And check out the page on the regular for updates on the campaign to get St. Martin's attention and for regular news bits, stories and fun facts about the world of Black hair. Here's the link for the page.

Thanks people, I appreciate it so very much.

Peace and Hair Grease!

Gone But Not Forgotten: African Americans in Saratoga Springs

2011-11-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I feel so lucky to have such amazing, talented and creative friends. I have friends who are writers, comedians, photographers, content providers for children's television... and all of them inspire me with their work. Really.

One of my friends, the one who brought me those delicious Saratoga Chips from Saratoga Springs, is an award-winning filmmaker and photographer who also grapples with issues of race and identity in her work. Her name is Yuko Edwards. When I first met Yuko, she was working on a documentary about Black American women who had moved to Europe in search of a better quality of life. So, you know we had lots to talk about. She's still working on that film but has done lots of other work, much of it photography, in the meantime.

As a transplant to Saratoga Springs, Edwards was struck by the lack of color in her new town. She discovered that there had once been an African-American community in Saratoga Springs, but somehow they slowly became displaced. So her response was to 'repopulate' Saratoga Springs with Black people in images. In her own words, here's how Edwards describes the photo series she titled The Homestead:

"I rarely see African Americans on the streets of Saratoga Springs, New York. Yet, I know that 1 in 6 Americans are black. Where are they? African Americans were an important and vibrant segment of this community at one time. Today, they seem to have vanished from town. I am forced to imagine them here. It is my nostalgia for this community that has motivated me to repopulate it with images of my own family. They evoke the former presence of African Americans and their energy, which has now faded. I am comforted by seeing my community at home."

Enjoy. And please feel free to leave a comment here with your thoughts about the photographs. And if you are so intrigued and want to learn more about the African-Americans who once called Saratoga Springs home, see if you can find a copy of this book, Lord Please Don't Take Me in August: African Americans in Newport and Saratoga Springs, 1870-1930.

Peace!

I am not a Superwoman

2011-11-07T16:07:00.000-08:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I'm just too tired to write today. I got nothing. But I wanted to leave you at least with a song, that pretty much captures how I feel today. Plus, it's a hilarious reminder of the 80's.

Enjoy!

Slaves in the President's House

2011-11-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

Today I went to visit "The President's House" in Center City, Philadelphia. The President's House is where George Washington and John Adams resided in the years of their respective presidencies (approximately 1790-1800). The actual house itself has long since been demolished but some archaeologists recently discovered some pieces of the house's foundation. And not just any parts, but the slave quarters where our first president kept his slaves, essentially in the basement.

Once discovered, the City of Brotherly Love had a hard time deciding how to display this historic artifact, paying homage to our first president, but also pointing out that he was a slave owner who really had no interest in freeing his human bondage. What's more, Washington deliberately rotated his slaves back and forth between his Virginia plantation and his Philadelphia home, to ensure they could not take advantage of the law that allowed any Black person in residence in Philadelphia for more than six months to be free.

So, the resulting exhibit in Philadelphia is open to the public and cleverly displayed, considering they had very little actual artifacts to work with, but there's something missing. We call this exhibit "The President's House," but the actual bricks and mortar that were discovered are pieces of "The Slave Quarters," and yet nowhere in the signage or display is there a sign that indicates that. Don't get me wrong, the slaves have not been forgotten in the exhibit, but can't we just lay it all out on the table? It seems we're still trying to whitewash history.

(sigh)

Food For Thought: A Black Man Invented the Potato Chip?

2011-11-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Did you know the potato chip was invented by a Black man, named George Crum? My friend from Saratoga Springs is visiting and she brought me a box of Saratoga Chips. What's a Saratoga Chip? I bet you didn't know that before we called them potato chips, crispy fried potatoes were known as Saratoga chips. Seriously. Read this website and share the knowledge. And the next time you bite into a potato chip, remember George Crum.

And there you have your food for thought and your Black history moment, all rolled up in one.

Peace!

Would You Name Your Son Rhett?: Colorful Baby Names from the World of Fiction

2011-10-31T13:22:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Recently I saw an article on Parents.com that said the latest trend in baby naming was to name your kid after a fictional literary and/or cinematic character. Apparently it's all the rage these days. Considering I named my own babygirl after a fictional nubian princess, I could only agree, although I felt a little "sheepish" knowing I was part of a so-called trend. Still, I was curious to see if babygirl's name made it on to Parent's list of top-ten names culled from our favorite books and movies. Not even close. In fact, there's not one female name on the list of any characters of color. Not a one. Instead, we have names like Gatsby, Eloise (from the children's book), Darcy and Rhett. Yes, Rhett. Would you name your Black child after Rhett Butler? I'm just sayin.

Still, I love the idea of naming one's child after a favorite hero or heroine in literature. In case you do too and have a baby to name in the near future, I thought I'd create my own Meltingpot list of best baby names from some of my favorite books and movies. So, here goes:

1. Sula (Toni Morrison's main character in the novel of the same name)
2. Beloved ( Same as above. I just think it would be cool to name my child Beloved.)
3. & 4. Birdie & Cole ( The two mixed sisters in Danzy Senna's Caucasia. Obvious Jazz influence there)
5. Coco (From Fame, the movie, not the TV series)
6. Storm (From the X-men, can be for a boy or girl or both.)
7. Isis (From superhero/Egyptian lore)
8. Shelby (From Dorothy West's The Wedding)
9. Lilo (From one of the better Disney flicks, Lilo & Stitch)
10. Fire ( He was the sexy, Jamaican poet from Colin Channer's sumptuous debut novel, Waiting in Vain. If I were to have another boy, I might name him Fire.)

Okay, dear readers. What names would you add to this list? I'm listening. And perhaps a whole bunch of expectant mothers are too, so speak up.

Peace!

Meltingpot Book Review: Maman's Homesick Pie

2011-10-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

How many Persian memoirs have you read? What's your favorite Persian food? Besides the horrific headlines about nuclear threats and repressive regimes, what do you know about Iranian culture and history? If you're anything like me, you may have no solid answers to these questions. And like me, maybe you would never have cause to investigate. Well, by chance I was sent a copy of this delicious little memoir called, Maman's Homesick Pie: A Persian Heart in an American Kitchen and now my appetite for Persian culture has been thoroughly piqued.

Maman's Homesick Pie by celebrated chef, Donia Bijan definitely falls under the category of food memoir where a life story is told in prose and recipes. And since Bijan is a chef, the recipes are perfectly chosen to both inspire one to head into the kitchen as well as further illustrate her journey from pampered Persian teen, to immigrant in America, to student chef in Paris. And while we get to see how Bijan, the youngest of three sisters, came to be the rock star chef that she is today, the book really is an ode to Bijan's mother.

I really enjoyed reading about Bijan's life journey, especially her love affair with food, but honestly her mother's life story is far more interesting. Sent to England for nursing school at 18, Bijan's mother was a woman ahead of her time who worked as a nurse, raised her three daughters and ran for and was elected into Parliament. When the family was forced into exile in the United States, while her husband sank into a depression, she jumped right into her new life, never looking back.

But still, this is Bijan's story and she tells it well, keeping sight of the fact that this is a foodie memoir. Besides the recipes, there are wonderful descriptions of the meals she ate prepared by her mother's loving hands in Iran, the food markets she wandered through in Paris, and even the rushed staff dinners at the restaurants where she learned her craft. It's enough to make any reader want to lick the pages. What's more, Bijan is truly a talented writer. The book is engaging and sweet and reads really well. For a first-time author I am truly impressed. I hope Bijan continues to write and considers a true memoir about her mother who sadly, met with a tragic demise. Her story deserves to be written.

The Meltingpot gives Maman's Homesick Pie, two big thumbs up.

Peace!

My Two Cents About Missing Baby Lisa

2011-10-26T08:41:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I've been avoiding this topic here on the blog because I really didn't feel like a missing baby was Meltingpot material. I felt sorry for the family going through this horrible ordeal but then as the facts started coming out, I started getting a little suspicious and decided to keep my own Law & Order-influenced theories to myself.

But I can't take it anymore. I need to know what other people are thinking about this situation. As a new mom to a precious babygirl, this story hits so close to home. I cannot imagine waking up one morning, peering into my daughter's crib and finding her gone. Just the thought sends waves of horror all over my body.

But here comes the skeptical me. I also cannot imagine waking up from a drunken stupor, finding my baby gone, not remembering the last time I checked up on her, not calling 911 right away, and all of the other ridiculous inconsistencies in the story of the grieving parents. Here's an article that sums up the case so far.

Initially, I wondered if these parents had harmed their own child and alerted the media in order to cash in on our culture's disgusting love affair with "nice White girls gone bad," i.e. Casey Anthony, Amanda Knox, Dick Cheney and the list goes on. No joke, to the innocent and ignorant, scandal may seem like a great way to become famous. I mean the rumor mill is going wild about the six-figure book deal floating around with Casey Anthony's name on it. And the Amanda Knox book isn't far behind. Do I need to mention Monica Lewinsky here?

Anywho, it feels wrong to talk about the motives and/or presumed guilt of the parents when at the end of the day, there is still a missing baby out there. I probably do watch far too much Law & Order but it seems like there should have been a break in the case already. I also read a lot and have read books about snatched babies, so part of me wants to believe that it's possible that someone snuck into the Irwin home, snatched the baby (without waking up the dog) and is now raising her as her own. But those tales are fiction. What are the real stats on baby snatching ? It seems every case of baby snatching in this country in recent memory has been a fabrication of a deranged mom.

So what do you think Meltingpot readers? What's your take on the case? Maybe we can help solve the mystery.

I'm listening.

Peace.

P.S. Here's the Meltingpot in me. Notice in the pictures there are two brown boys in the background? Are those her brothers? Does baby Lisa have brown brothers? Interesting. I wonder if the world knows this and if and how this would color the case?

Food for Thought: Meltingpot Meals on the Menu

2011-10-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Happy Monday. I'm so excited because in a couple of weeks I get to speak on a panel about three of my great passions; food, parenting and ethnic diversity. Where? You ask. How? Tell us more, you say. But of course.

Our local NPR station, WHYY is sponsoring a monthly parenting series with different pre-arranged topics every month. The November topic is nutrition and I was asked to speak on the panel, bringing my own opinions and experience about 'ethnic eating' to the table. No pun intended. Okay, it was kind of intended, but I digress.

What I'm going to talk about is how I take inspiration from other cultures to prepare nutritious and delicious meals, as well as teach my kids about different cultures at the dinner table. This is my modus operandi in the kitchen and it's been working pretty well all these years. But it's not just about the kids.

Personally, I love buying cookbooks from other cultures, eating at ethnic restaurants and shopping at ethnic grocery stores. And then I bring what I've sampled and tasted, read about and learned into my own kitchen. Even if it's just a new spice that I'm trying, like the dried oregano I purchased from a Mexican food stall sprinkled in last night's pot of beans, I feel like I'm experiencing a different culture and of course, my kids are too. Obviously we can't fly to Mexico or Morocco at a moment's notice, so sampling from their cuisine is a good second best.

And unlike certain schools of thought that think it's a good idea to 'hide' healthy food for your kids -- spinach in the lasagna, sweet potatoes in the brownies -- I think it's a better idea to 'hide' healthy eating habits in a world cultures lesson. For example, if you want your kids to eat fruit for dessert instead of say cookies or cake, don't just give them an apple or an orange and expect them to jump for joy. Instead, tell the kids you're having a dessert from Jamaica or Haiti and then serve a sweet, juicy mango. And be sure to serve the fruit on a pretty plate with presentation in mind. I learned that trick from my Spanish in-laws and my host family in Morocco. I'll never forget how good a bunch of green grapes tasted in Morocco because they were served on a gorgeous silver platter.

So, that's one of my tricks. What about yours? Do any of you co-opt other culture's culinary habits to entice your kids to eat 'better.' Within your own culture do you have any great foods or eating habits that your kids love? Wanna share? I'm listening.

Peace.

P.S. If you'd like more information on the panel and/or if you live in the Philadelphia area and would like to attend, follow this link for more information.

Changes on the Meltingpot

2011-10-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

In case you hadn't noticed, there's a couple of new things happening here on the Meltingpot. The big one is that over there on the right you'll notice that I've added ads from the blogher network. I'm hoping that with that one ad I'll earn enough money from blogging that I'll be able to quit my day job, buy a small house in the south of Spain and finish paying for my son's orthodonture. Ha! A girl can dream right.

I've also updated my blogroll and encourage you to check out some of the new blogs I've added. A friend of mine just told me about a friend of hers who is now blogging for an online magazine I've never heard of called, The Next Family. It looks like a great site and this woman, Wendy Rhein is blogging about being a White single mom to two brown, adopted kids and taking care of her aging mom. She also includes recipes with all of her posts. Check it out if you can. Another blogger on the Next Family site, Amy Wise, writes about being a White woman married to a Black man and how the world still doesn't seem ready to accept that. It's a small world because I (cyber) met Amy on a different website. Funny how the Internet brings like-minded people together over and over again.

So, enjoy the changes and enjoy your weekend. I'll 'see' you all on Monday.

Peace!

One Last Lesson from Wangari Maathai

2011-10-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

If you recall, I posted here when Wangari Maathai passed away. I noted that her goddaughter, N., is the godmother of my children. Well, N. just returned from Ms. Maathai's funeral and memorial service in Kenya and passed along this beautiful story that Maathai liked to use to inspire people.

I hope it inspires you too.

Peace!

Hip Hop Under the Big Top: UniverSoul Circus

2011-10-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

It probably won't come as much of a surprise to you that one of my dreams as a child was to join the circus. Once I discovered that there was actually such a thing as clown college, I figured 'clowning' must be a legitimate profession. I mean, if you have to go to college first...

Something about the bohemian lifestyle, the traveling, the performance, it all spoke to me. But my parents weren't feeling it, even with a degree from a prestigious clown college. So, you can imagine my thrill at being assigned a story to write about the UniverSoul circus for the Philadelphia Inquirer. (The story comes out in a few weeks. I'll link to it then.)

Honestly, I always assumed the UniveSoul circus was a little circus that only featured Black performers. Boy was I wrong. I got to interview the CEO and founder of UniverSoul, Cedric Walker, while he was in Ecuador searching for new acts, (No, I didn't get to jet off to Ecuador, we spoke by phone.) and by the end of our almost two-hour conversation, I was ready to run off and join the circus again. UniverSoul features performers from far flung places like Gabon and Belarus, China and Chile. The performers are young and creative and they bring their own culture, language and music to the show. Walker told me that while UniverSoul did start out only featuring Black performers, he had to go international to find new acts. And what's really great is that he is giving a lot of talented circus performers from countries in Africa and Latin America a chance at international exposure. Good for them and good for us.

Walker told me that just hanging out behind the scenes at UniverSoul, listening to all of the different languages being spoken and watching the interaction between the performers during their down time, is just as exciting as what goes on under the Big Top. Apparently the common language between them all is hip hop and they share a kind of global youth-led urban culture. I love it. And that's why I'm giving the UniverSoul Circus The MyAmericanMeltingpot Mention of the Month.

Have you ever seen the show? What did you think? Here's a little taste.

Peace!

Mixed Messages: Life in a Multiracial Family

2011-10-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Everybody and their mother sent me a link to this story in the New York Times about the continuing struggles with acceptance and racism experienced by multiracial families. The stares. The hostility. The questions. Yep, it all comes with the territory.

Coincidentally, the other day, babygirl and I were at the local dollar store, buying paper towel for a dollar, when the chatty cashier leaned over to peek at babygirl. Ms. Chatty Cathy was Black, by the way. So, she leans over, looks at babygirl and exclaims, "Oh, isn't she as White as snow." It felt more like an accusation than a random comment and I didn't have a response for her. And I didn't really have time to respond because the other cashier quickly ran over to exclaim how beautiful babygirl was. But first she asked, "Is she yours?" I simply smiled and said, yes, the little Snow White baby is mine.

And I left that store and reflected on the incident for exactly one minute. And then I didn't think about it again. I'm so used to the comments, the questions, and the stares after three babies that came out all pale faced and straight haired. But I did pause last night to wonder what it would feel like to have a baby that looked something like me. At least one that had enough melanin that our biological connection would not be questioned. I've never had that experience.

But unlike the family in the Times, I think because I was born Black and grew up in a very White environment where I stood out like Cocoa Puff in a box of Kixx, I'm used to being stared at, questioned, and misunderstood. I'm not saying I like it, I'm just used to it. And my guess is, for White Americans who enter into interracial relationships, it must be shocking to have those multiculti moments thrust upon you after walking incognito through the world. Hmmm...

What do you think dear readers? Do you and/or you and your family get stared at, questioned or even attacked for crossing the color line? Do you care? How do you respond?

I'm listening.

Peace.

Losing My Spanish

2011-10-12T07:01:00.000-07:00

Hola Meltingpot Readers,

I have a confession to make. I'm losing my Spanish. Okay, let's be real, I've gone beyond losing and feel like I'm on the verge of lost. It's been two years since we've been to Spain, el esposo and I speak English together and I don't have any close friends who are Spanish dominant. Ay de mi!

I've always considered myself a lover of languages and imagined I'd be trilingual by now, living abroad, traveling at a moment's notice, but hey, real life got in the way. But still, there's no reason I can't live out my language fantasies. But just like wanting washboard abs, maintaining one's dominance over a foreign language requires constant practice and I've been a little floja these last two years. And what's worse, my boys have been too (every since we took them out of the Spanish immersion school).

So, those of you who know me, know I'm not going to watch the Spanish wash out of me without a fight. My fluency is dormant, not gone, so I'm going on a quest to get it back and I'm bringing my boys with me. Here's what we're doing in the Kinky Gazpacho family these days:

1. All meal times, even when el esposo is not here, are Spanish only. We started this new rule on the first day of school. It's hard to make the change, but I figure it's the only way to have a guaranteed Spanish conversation every day. It forces us to charlar en espanol using everyday language and grammar constructions that are kicking my butt. But it's helpful. And the best part, as babygirl is always in the room with us, she's getting to hear a lot of Spanish. (FYI, el esposo only speaks to the kids in Spanish and they respond in Spanish.)

2. Since I'm now spending a lot of time in the house with a baby in my lap, I end up watching way more television than I have in the past. So, I'm making myself switch over to Univision or Telemundo whenever I can and just listen. One, I get to hear several different accents and two, I'm improving my oral comprehension.

3.And finally, crazy as it sounds. I'm going to read a novel in Spanish. Yes, I'm going to reach back into my stash of Spanish novels from college and see just how bad, er I mean how challenged I really am. I'm a little wary because I know I'll be frustrated reading with a dictionary at my side, but I'm going to do it and el esposo is going to ask me about what I've read. Oh, wait, I just remembered, I have a new collection of the Best Short Stories by Spanish authors. I think I'll read that instead.

So, there you have it people, my new Spanish regimen. We're planning on being in Spain this summer, so there's that motivation to succeed. Do you have any other suggestions for me and my boys? What do you do with your families to maintain the 'other' language? Estoy escuchando.

Peace!

Boycotting Columbus Day: A Native American Perspective

2011-10-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

You know my life is all about learning about the other. I truly enjoy reading, writing and researching about other cultures and ethnicities and seeing how we are similar and at the same time honoring the differences. It's not always easy to honor those difference but we have to try. That's why I am always interested in meeting people who come from ethnic and/or cultural groups different from my own. And I always ask a lot of questions.

Last year, I taught a class at Temple called Race and Racism in the News. During the course of the class, I invited many guest speakers from different ethnic groups around Philadelphia to come speak. One of my speakers was a Native American man, who was also an activist and educator. (He also happens to be my accountant but that's another story.)

He talked about reservation life, Native American traditions being co-opted as cool and a host of other issues facing modern day Native Americans. But one thing he said stuck in my mind and always will. Not surprisingly, he said he not only ignores Columbus Day, he boycotts it. Why? In his mind, and many others in the Native American community, Christopher Columbus is likened to Hitler. Yes, he said Hitler. They see him as a man responsible for the utter destruction and decimation of Native people in the Americas. And not for nothing, they also find it highly disturbing that streets are named after Columbus in almost every major city. "Can you imagine a Hitler street?" he asked my class. Ouch.

So, on this Columbus Day, I'm thinking about the Native American community and how they must be feeling on a day honoring a man they consider pure evil. I'm not heading out to join any protests, but I'm definitely sympathetic. This is how we learn, people. This is how we learn.

What do you do on Columbus Day? Do you celebrate, sympathize, protest, or just enjoy a day off work?

I'm listening.

Peace!

The Meltingpot Wonders about The Awkward Black Girl

2011-10-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Have you heard about the runaway success of the independent web series, The Mis-Adventures of Awkward Black Girl? Before I even watched an episode, I was excited by the possibility of a 'TV' show that spoke to a different type of Black girl than the hootchie mama or cool/funny best friend most often seen in mainstream media. And by the time I even heard about the series, created by Stanford grad, Issa Rae the Twitterverse and facebook were already buzzing about how great it was. And even major networks were singing its praise.

But here's the thing. I feel so bad saying this. I don't love it. Ugh. If there ever was a show that I wanted to love, this would be it. I love the independent spirit that started the whole thing. I love the concept. I love Issa Rae, but I'm not feeling the show. Maybe I just need to watch more. Maybe I need to be 20 years younger to 'get it.' Maybe I'm just not funny enough to get their funny. Or maybe it's just not my type of humor. But it almost is. In my 20s, I thought of myself as the Awkward Black girl.

Either way, I'm going to support the show and Rae, because she's doing her own thing and not waiting for a handout or a permission slip. You Go girl! (That was awkward.)

What do you think people? Are you laughing? Why or why not? Do you have any favorite indie web TV shows that you watch? Let me know. If you had to make an indie comedy about your life, what would you call it? Since the Awkward Black Girl is taken, I'd probably call my show, "When Kinky Met Gazpacho," but you know I was going to say that. Your turn.

I'm so listening.

Peace!

American Kids Living Dangerously Abroad

2011-10-05T09:38:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I don't know about you, but I admit I've been riveted by Amanda Knox. I didn't necessarily feel that she was an innocent wrongly accused or a guilty murderer who got what she deserved, I was just drawn into her horrific experience. And in some ways I could sympathize. I was an exchange student in college. I did things in Spain in the name of freedom and experimentation that I would never do in the States. I fell in love with dangerous European men (not el esposo of course) and I probably made decisions that in retrospect could have gotten me into a lot of trouble. A lot of trouble. No, I never killed anyone or even broke any laws, but still, my 'year of living dangerously,' could have turned out with a far more sinister outcome. So, maybe Amanda Knox was in Italy and was feeling free to experiment, to live dangerously, to abandon caution and it somehow backfired on her. I don't know, but I can imagine several scenarios.

But now, as a mother, I look at Amanda Knox, accused of murder, and spending four years in jail and I look at those poor American hikers, accused of spying in Iran, who spent two years in an Iranian prison and I cringe at the thought that one day my children will want to go abroad and experience a different way of life. Suddenly, as a parent, I see the inherent risks of my children wanting the chance to 'live dangerously' in another country, in another language. How, I wonder, do parents these days let their children go?

I asked my uncle this question before he passed, as he allowed his two young teens to travel to Germany when they were in high school on an exchange program. He told me he had simply raised his children right and that he trusted them. I rolled my eyes at that answer and decided he was just too lenient. But then I looked back on my own childhood. My parents sent me/allowed me to be an exchange student in Morocco when I was 17 years old. My first experience abroad and I was on a plane to Africa. There was no internet back then and letters took at least 10 days to arrive. That trip was life changing for me. (By the way, the program I went on, AFS, still exists today and is wonderful.) I experienced myself and the world in a totally different way. I made lifelong friends and became part of a new family. I also learned how to speak a little bit of Arabic and French which I still remember and use on occasion today.

And then of course, I did go to Spain in college. I was a little more reckless, but look what I got out of the experience. A husband, a career and the fodder for my memoir, Kinky Gazpacho. Not bad for a year abroad.

So, at the end of the day, I'm sure I will be scared to death when my kids inevitably ask to go abroad alone. I'll probably try to secretly insert a GPS monitor under their skin or in a back tooth to keep track of them, but I'll let them go. Despite what happened to Amanda Knox and the hikers in Iran, I will keep the faith that I raised my kids right and I will trust them to 'live dangerously' ... but with caution. Is that too much to ask?

What do you think dear readers? Will you let your kids go abroad with no reservations? At what age? What will you do to prepare them?

I'm so listening.

Peace!

To Dance in Cuba

2011-10-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I stumbled on this documentary last night about legendary Cuban dancer and choreographer, Pedro Ruiz. The film is called "Coming Home : Pedro Ruiz" and details Ruiz's return to his native Cuba to choreograph a new dance. I just loved seeing the beautiful dancers, hearing Ruiz's story and, of course, getting a glimpse into Cuban culture which is at once both so African and Spanish. You know, totally Kinky Gazpacho.

Watch the full episode. See more THIRTEEN Specials.

Did anybody else watch the film? I'm sure it will replay again on PBS soon so check your local listings or view it online. So totally worth it. Now I really want to go to Cuba. Anybody been recently? Tell us about it.

I'm listening.

Peace!

What I'm Reading Now: Stories in Living Color

2011-09-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

You all know I regularly post book reviews here on the Meltingpot, but the truth of the matter is, I read far more than I have time to review. In fact, I read so much, I consider myself a book addict. When I finish one book, if I don't have a new book to dive into, I'm like a crackhead and start to get the shakes. Sometimes I can stave off withdrawal symptoms with a good magazine article, but that will only hold me for a short period of time.

Because I know many of you appreciate recommendations for good books, I thought I'd share with you what books I've gobbled up...I mean, read lately. And these aren't just good books, these are Meltingpot books. In other words, I'm not really interested in reading a book about White people and their lives in a White world. Not that I don't find White people fascinating, but it seems their stories are everywhere. I want to use my reading time to find out how other people live. Even if it's fiction, I want to immerse myself in another culture, or see my own culture reflected in some way. I want to see different cultures engaging with one another. I want to see cultures colliding and coming together. Don't get me wrong, I don't discriminate in my literary choices. I think of it more like affirmative action. If I can find a book with at least one colored character, I'm choosing that one over the book with just White folks. But at the end of the day, a good book is a good book. I'll read anything by Ann Patchett, for example, whether she adds people of color in her books or not (interestingly she usually does but not always.)

So, without further ado, here's what I've read in the last two months, in addition to Conquistadora and The Taste of Salt, which I reviewed here on the site.

1. You Are Free: Stories by Danzy Senna. I generally shy away from short stories, but I'd read a grocery list if Danzy Senna wrote it. She is one of my favorite authors who always tackles mixed-race identity in all of her work. You Are Free is no exception. The stories aren't explicitly about race, but almost every story in the collection features a mixed-race character grappling with an issue that seems to stem from their racial blend. It's deep stuff and kind of depressing. By the end of the book, I desperately wanted to know if Senna was intentionally playing with the 'tragic mulatto' stereotype or if she truly 'knew' these characters she had invented. I'd love to hear other people's reactions to You Are Free.

2. Shanghai Girls by Lisa See. Lisa See has been in my literary rear view mirror for awhile. My mother's book club was reading one of her books. One of her books is now showing at a theater near me. The local Barnes & Noble had a display of her books on the front table. But I just wasn't that interested. But when my local Borders went out of business, I scooped up Shanghai Girls because it was on deep discount and I decided to finally find out what Lisa See could deliver. This book is about two young sisters who are living the high life in Shanghai right before the Japanese invasion. Their privileged world falls apart however, when their father admits he's gambled away their fortune. To save himself, he essentially sells his daughters to get out of debt. The two sisters, May and Pearl, are now wives to two awkward brothers who live in the United States and they go from upper-class Chinese, to downtrodden immigrant workers in California.

I can't say I loved this book, but it was definitely a page-turner that kept me entertained. I also learned a lot about Chinese culture and the Chinese immigrant experience in America. For that reason, I would recommend the book to every American because you will never eat at a Chinese restaurant or stroll through your local Chinatown with the same innocent eyes.

Now I'm reading a new memoir by the award-winning author and poet, Jackie Kay. Kay was adopted as an infant in her native Scotland. Her birth mother was Scottish, her father an academic from Nigeria. The book, Red Dust Road, is her story of tracking down her birth parents and examining her life growing up with her communist parents. Despite the seriousness of her endeavor, this book is hilarious. Considering Kay finds out her birth mother became a Mormon and her birth father became a Christian zealot, if she couldn't find the humor in her origins, she probably wouldn't be in such a positive place in her life today. I had the pleasure of meeting Kay a few years ago at a literary festival and she is a beautiful human being and full of laughter. When I finish the book, I'll give you a complete review. But if you want to beat me to it, order if for yourselves. The only thing is, my friend sent it to me from England where it was published. I'm not sure if it's available through US book stores yet.

So, what are you reading these days? I'm going to need my next fix soon.

I'm listening.

Peace!

Black Hair News: The World's Biggest Afro

2011-09-28T05:45:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I'm sure most of you know that I'm obsessed with Black hair. Not so much the styles, but rather the culture, politics and history of our 'crowning glory." It amazes me how much Black hair amazes other people. So much so, I co-authored a book in 2001, Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America to further investigate the impact Black people's hair has had on popular culture since Black people arrived in America.

The book came out over ten years ago, but Black hair continues to make headlines. Case in point, the latest Guinness Book of World Records -- the 2012 edition -- for the first time has cited the world's largest Afro. Take a look:

I love it! And to prove my point as to just how much of an impact our hair has, check out the following clip from the BBC as they interview Ms. Dugas about her world-record hair. Notice how giddy the interviewer is? Notice how much she wants to reach out and touch it as if this woman's hair were almost other-worldly? Even across the pond our hair makes waves. That's significant and that's why my co-author and I are working on an updated edition to Hair Story, to chronicle what's been going on in the world of hair these last ten years.

If you have any suggestions about what Black hair moments, events, styles and/or trends need to be covered in the book, let me know. I'm listening.

Peace!

The Meltingpot Mourns a Hero: Wangari Maathai

2011-09-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Many of you regular readers know that I fiercely enjoy the meltingpot-ness of my life. The connections I have made through nature and nurture with people from all walks of life continue to amaze and inspire me. Case in point. I have two Kenyan friends. One I met in college. The other I met in New York City right after college. Let's call her N.

N. and I grew up together in our twenties, going to graduate school, falling in love, getting married, and deciding who we really wanted to be. We gave birth within months of one another and now we are the godparents of each other's kids. In other words, N. and I are family.

So, imagine my surprise when one day in 2004, when Kenyan environmental activist and super woman, Wangari Maathai -- the woman who planted all those trees in Kenya -- was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, and N. casually tells me, "Oh, yeah, she's my godmother."Excuse me? Yes, I know two Kenyans, and one of them is the goddaughter to Wangari Maathai! So, since I consider N. my sister, then Ms. Maathai, is like my family. My kids figured it that way too, and I let them. What better way to engage and connect them to the wider world? They especially got a kick out of the children's book about Ms. Maathai's life. They were like, "Hey Madrina's madrina is in a book!" (FYI: Madrina is godmother in Spanish.)

So, today we mourn because Wangari Maathai passed away today at age 71 from cancer. She will be truly missed. To read more about her remarkable life, you can read her obit in today's New York Times. Be inspired.

Peace!

When the Media Gets Diversity Right

2011-09-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot readers,

I'm still flying high from last night. Why? Did I suddenly find a miracle cure for this blasted cold? No. Did I hit the Megamillions jackpot? I wish. I'm just really happy because the new season of Grey's Anatomy started last night and as usual they provided tear-jerking drama, controversial plot points and pithy banter in full living color. In other words, they managed to make full use of their diverse cast (as well as talented extras of color) without making race and/or diversity the story. It just is. Kind of like real life. Interracial couples, transracial/international adoptions, it's all in there. As are mixed race doctors, a Black chief of surgery and a poor, White, bad-ass doctor from the wrong side of the tracks. This is what I love about Grey's. They make it look so easy. And from my side of the sofa I don't see why other prime time TV shows can't figure out how to include colored folks in their casts. I don't really watch any other TV show religiously other than Grey's, but I tune in once in a while to see what's being offered and I'm astounded that so many of the new network TV shows this season still have zero actors of color in them. Not even a token Black, Asian, Latino, Mixie friend, boss, cocktail waitress can be found. Really TV world?

That's why I think I'm going to follow my Fierce and Nerdy friend, Ernessa Carter's rule and not even tune in to shows that can't figure out how to bring some color into the cast. That's just too insulting in 2011.

But moving on, because I labeled this post "When the Media Gets Diversity Right," I wanted to give two Meltingpot thumbs up to another magazine (I talked about Ebony earlier this week) that seems to be working hard to be inclusive. I'm not a loyal reader of this magazine yet, but I almost woke the baby choking on my own glee last night as I paged through the most recent issue of Redbook magazine. Yes, Redbook.

First of all, you must know that Redbook received a total hipster makeover when former Glamour staffer Jill Herzig took over as EIC last year. But more than Glamourize the magazine, it seems someone at Redbook understands that American women actually come in multiples shapes and shades. Case in point, on page 85 they have a beauty piece on tips to keep your skin looking young. Basic women's magazine stuff. But, they break it down by ethnic group. Usually women's mags try to cover their bases by using euphemisms like 'light' and 'dark' skin and featuring some ambiguously brown woman to cover all of their bases. But this article actually breaks their tips down for -- wait for it -- "Caucasian, Latina, African-American, Asian and Indian," women. Yes, they get that specific and they actually interview ethnic dermatologists for each section, so you know the information is on point. I read a lot of magazines and I have never, ever seen beauty tips for Asian, Latina and Indian women in a mainstream publication. And it makes a difference to see yourself in the pages of a mainstream publication. It means you've been noticed. It means you matter. ( Not for nothing, they also featured Jada Pinkett-Smith as their cover model last month.) Go Redbook and please keep it up.

I'm thinking about instituting a Meltingpot Medal of Honor to media output that gets diversity right. What shows and/or magazines do you think are doing a good job?

I'm listening.

Peace!

Black is...?

2011-09-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Sadly, babygirl and I are battling a nasty snotty virus. But I didn't want to leave you with nothing to chew today. Check out the following news clip that comes after it was recently announced that Tyler Perry is the richest man in Hollywood! Say what? Yes. So does he speak for Black America or is he as Toure says in the clip, "malt liquor for the masses?" Take a peek and let me know what you think.

Peace!

Ebony Magazine: It's Not Just for Black People Anymore

2011-09-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

How many of you are loyal readers of Ebony magazine? How many of you grew up in a house where the latest issue of Ebony was always on the coffee table? I did. Ebony magazine was like the Life magazine for Black people. But even as a child it felt old and dated. It was definitely my parents' magazine. The only sections I regularly read were the cartoons and the Ebony Advisor - the Dear Abby for desperate Black people.

As soon I left my parents' home, I stopped reading Ebony. In fact, I stopped thinking about Ebony. The Black world that Ebony covered had nothing to do with the Black life I wanted to lead. So, I read Essence instead. Essence and Glamour and Sassy and Marie Claire and all of the other typical women's magazines meant to tell me how to think, dress, love, eat and style my hair. And that was all fine for awhile. But then, as I settled into the life I live now, with children, a home, a Spanish husband, a complicated spiritual life, a career, etc, I was searching for a magazine that could speak to all parts of me. And people, imagine my surprise when I rediscovered Ebony magazine.

I'm not being totally honest. I knew Ebony went through a major metamorphosis in the last few years. They were almost shuttered, have gone through several new editors, a couple of re-designs and a true existential crisis trying to decide if a Black lifestyle magazine was even necessary in a post-racial, Obamaified America. But I wasn't ready to believe in a new Ebony just because they were new and improved. I waited for awhile before giving them another chance. I wanted their new editor-in-chief, Amy DuBois Barnett to get her game on before I took a peek. And people, I'm really excited about this new Ebony. The new Ebony seems to get me.

Case in point, this month's issue (Oct. 2011) has articles about gay Black parents, about a Black Buddhist, some great fashion pages, and a really great spread on famous people and their off-beat collections. As well as an interesting profile on Ambassador Susan Rice. The culture pages include books I want to read and films I'm definitely going to see. I read the issue cover to cover. A few months ago, I believe it was the May 2011 issue, they dedicated half the editorial space to dissecting biracial America.

I'm giving Barnett a huge round of applause for bringing Ebony into the 21st century and for showcasing in the magazine's pages, the diversity of the Black American experience. She's doing this with the help of some great writers too, writers themselves who exemplify the great range of Black thought. For the first time, I would say that Ebony isn't a magazine just for Black people. Now it's a magazine about Black people, for anyone interested in great editorial content.

I'm curious if anyone else has been reading the new Ebony? What do you think? Any non-Black people reading? What made you pick up a copy?

I'm listening.

Peace.

P.S. Jen Marshall Duncan is the winner of the "Same Family, Different Color" t-shirt. Jen, send an email to myamericanmeltingpot@gmail.com to claim your prize. Congrats!

"Is That Yo' Baby?" and a Giveaway Too

2011-09-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

So, I was walking down the street in North Philadelphia the other day, pushing babygirl in her stroller. I was behind a group of four school-age Black girls and was enjoying myself eavesdropping on their adolescent chatter. I was also admiring their hair do's and wondering how girls so young paid for so much hair, but I digress.

So, eventually I had to pass the girls and as I did so they oohed and ahhed over the baby, but they were none too subtle with their reactions to her coloring. "Why she look like that?" one girl asked. Another girl quickly added, "You adopted her right?" And finally the smartest one in the bunch just came out and asked, "Is that yo' baby?" I smiled and answered, "Yes, she's mine. Her daddy is Spanish." And that pretty much finished the conversation. They were done with me. I will never see them again. But what I really wanted to say was, 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph, why would I adopt a White baby? And who would give me one anyway?'

But seriously, I'm not mad at those girls. They just voiced what I'm sure so many others wanted to say anyway. In fact, quite a few people haven't been able to hold their tongues and have thrown out the following comments:

My doctor said: "Oh my gosh, she doesn't look anything like you does she? I mean really. I can't be the only one who's told you that?" (Gee thanks and you have a medical degree?)

Random lady at the store: "Is that your baby? Oh, I mean of course she's yours why else would you be pushing her in a stroller?"(Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'm being paid to push her by her real mother.)

Several other well meaning folks: "She's so cute, but did your other kids have straight hair and skin so, um, fair? Isn't this strange?" (Actually, no. Both my kids were pale faces with jet black, straight hair at birth. But luckily they darkened up and their hair went rogue kinky, so I'm not worried about babygirl.)

Seriously, Meltingpot readers, none of these reactions are shocking to me, but they can get a bit wearisome. And every once in a while they make me sad, but that could be due to the fact that I still have an abundance of lady hormones that can make me cry during a baby food commercial. But at the end of the day, I just try to laugh it all off. In retrospect, these comments are terribly funny.

I bet some of you have some "funny" comments people have made about your families of different colors. Leave me your best of's in the comments section and I'll pick a random winner to receive one of my whatrugear.com t-shirts that says, "Same Family, Different Colors." You can specify if you want the kid or adult version. Drawing happens Monday morning before I post. So you have the weekend.

Okay, I'm listening. And by the way, if you want to listen to other people discuss this issue, you should tune into the podcast, Is That Your Child?

Peace!

Congrats Miss Angola!

2011-09-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I don't know about you, but when I was a little girl, I used to love to watch beauty competitions, like Miss America and Miss Universe. I guess it was the closest thing to princess envy I ever had. One year, Miss Wisconsin was someone I knew. She graduated from my high school and she rode my same school bus. I was always in awe in her presence. And the fact that she was an "other" like me in our very White world (she was Korean), gave me hope that the world might consider non-blondes to be beautiful.

So, these days I don't really follow the world of beauty pageants unless some scandal hits the news and I just have to tune in to see what's happened. Well, it wasn't a scandal, but the results of this year's Miss Universe competition made world headlines yesterday because it was Miss Angola, Leila Lopes, that took the title. And yes, people, she's Black. I make that distinction because even though there have been three other Miss Universe's from Africa, only one of those three were Black. Miss Angola is actually only the second Black African Miss Universe in the competition's 60-year history.

So, for all of the little girls like me who watch these shows hoping to see someone who looks like them be declared the most beautiful woman in the world, I'm so happy for you. Congratulations to us all. And I'm wondering, do any of you watch these shows? Did you used to as a child? Do you let your kids watch them today? Why or why not? You know I'm listening.

For more information about Lopes' win, check out the article and slide show on the Huffington Post.

Peace!

The Taste Of Salt: A (Colorful) Dysfunctional Family Story

2011-09-12T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

You know there are some books you read that have very simple plots to explain. Like, Cinderella is a story about a girl whose mom dies and she has to live with her evil stepmother who treats her like a slave until her fairy godmother shows up and turns her life around. Well, Martha Southgate's haunting new novel, The Taste of Salt isn't like that. There's no clear beginning and happily ever afters are nowhere to be found and yet it is a story about a troubled family, about love and in some ways about believing that salvation can come in the arms of the right man. And yes, there are major daddy issues.

If I had to be more specific in my descriptions, I'd say The Taste of Salt is a story about a middle-class, African-American family destroyed by addiction. The father is an alcoholic as his son. The wife feels herself powerless to help either her husband or son and daughter, Josie just wants to get as far away from the whole clan as possible. And really The Taste of Salt is Josie's story. At the beginning of the novel, Josie is in her mid-thirties, a successful scientist living in Woods Hole, one of the only Black people on staff at the prestigious Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution. She's married to a White man and happily has no children. Her life is neat and orderly and she hardly ever has to think about her painful childhood back in Cleveland. Until her mother calls to tell her that her brother, Tick has fallen off the wagon, again.

It is Tick's stint in rehab that truly sets of the life-altering chain of events that occur in the book. Josie goes back to Cleveland to help her mother deal with her brother and subsequently her well-ordered life starts to unravel as she trips through the memories and pain.

The reason I enjoyed this book so much, besides Southgate's masterful and mesmerizing storytelling, is that while one could consider this a book about addiction, it really is a story about an American family trying their best to capture the American dream. But the booze keeps thwarting everyone's efforts. Southgate goes all the way back to Josie's parents' meeting to explain how they got to today. She humanizes the plight of so many people struggling with substance abuse by giving us an individual story. The fact that the family is Black is inconsequential, yet refreshing to this reader as it is always validating to fall in love with characters that look like the people in your own life.

All told, The Taste of Salt is a compelling, thought-provoking, page-turning drama. I gobbled it up in two days. The characters are real, not romanticized and their reality will resonate with many people touched by addiction of all sorts. A perfect book-club read, The Taste of Salt gets two Meltingpot thumbs up.

P.S. If you haven't read Southgate's other novels, Third Girl From the Left and The Fall of Rome you are truly missing out. Seriously. Go read them and tell me what you think.

Peace!

Why I Should Be a Contestant on Dancing With the Stars

2011-09-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

Recently ABC announced the new contestants on their hit show Dancing with the Stars. If you're like me and new to the show, basically ABC finds B-list and or otherwise not-so-famous-anymore "celebrities" to compete against each other in a serious dance competition. And maybe it's because this is season 13, but it seems to me the show's producers are really reaching to find suitable competitors. Maybe they have completely gone through Hollywood's B-list and now they're just looking for personalities who will make for good TV watching. Why else is Nancy Grace or Chaz Bono on the show? I mean really, a dancing lawyer?

So, I was just thinking if that's the case, if ABC is trying to widen their net in finding contestants, then they should have asked me. Yes, me. And I'll tell you why. But since I'm not a lawyer like Grace, I'm not going to write a detailed brief, I'd rather just give you a list of five really good reasons. Here goes. And ABC, I hope you're listening, or, um, reading.

1. Like Bristol Palin (a former contestant) I am not a celebrity and I cannot dance. This makes for good TV watching because people will tune in to try to figure out why in the world I was chosen to be on the show and to see if I'll ever master the fox trot.

2. I'm Black and I can't dance. Obviously ABC likes diversity in the ranks (see Brandy, Kristi Yamaguchi, Rick Fox) but usually the Black people selected can dance and they seem to get voted off rather quickly. But because I'm a Black person who truly has a horrible sense of rhythm and was asked to leave ballet class at age five due to habitual clumsiness, there's the air of the unexpected with me. I'd be like an affirmative-action wild card.

3. I just had a baby. Everybody loves a flabby new mom trying to loose weight by being on a major network dance competition. But unlike Kate (I have 8 kids) Gosselin, I wouldn't leave my kids at home in Pennsylvania while I lived it up in LA. No, I'd be a good mother and pull my kids out of school and bring them with me, homeschool them in between cha-cha lessons and let them be in a lot of publicity shots for the show. Who doesn't love cute kids? And my kids are adorable and really photogenic.

4. I'm a writer. As far as I know, there's never been a writer on the show. New is always good. And can you imagine if I won? My book sales would go through the roof and I could slap a gold seal or something on all of my book covers that says I'm a Dancing with the Stars champion. This would be excellent exposure for me and I'm sure the show would benefit too because they could say they support literacy by supporting me. Who doesn't want to be pro-literacy?

5. I look really good in sequins and I have a flair for the dramatic. That's just my opinion, but ABC I dare you to prove me wrong.

The Kimchi Chronicles: From Seoul to Soul to Seoul

2011-09-07T05:14:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Sorry I went missing. Sadly, I wasn't on some exotic vacation or enjoying the final days of summer on a local beach. Nope, I just couldn't tear myself away from the all-consuming task of caring for a newborn. I'm not complaining, just explaining. And saying thank you for continuing to visit the Meltingpot. Okay. Shall we move on?

So, not too long ago, I was channel surfing and stumbled across what appeared to be a travel/cooking show focused on the cuisine of Korea. I was immediately hooked because I love Korean food but also because the hosts of the show were not Korean, but rather an interracial couple of indeterminate origins. All I could ascertain by the brief clip I saw was that the woman was ambiguously brown and the 'white-ish' man had a European sounding accent. So of course as soon as the show went off I went into investigative mode.

As it turns out, I'd been watching The Kimchi Chronicles. Indeed it is a show that celebrates the cuisine of Korea. And while that is exciting, I find the backstory to the show far more fascinating, as I'm sure you all will too. So the host is Marja Vongerichten, wife of the famous chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten. But that's not what makes her special. Her life story is the stuff of meltingpot fairy tales. The daughter of a Korean mother and an African-American GI, she was orphaned at age three, adopted by an African-American family in the United States and then reunited with her birth mother as an adult. I'm not sure how much of her life history she's bringing into the show, but her husband and daughter make appearances on the Kimchi Chronicles (as do the actors Heather Graham and Hugh Jackman which I'm still struggling to understand why, but whatever.) Here's a clip from the show so you can see for yourself what I'm talking about.

So, let me know what you think of the Kimchi Chronicles. I'm listening.

Peace.

"Three Sisters" in the Garden -- Food for Thought

2011-08-31T14:27:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I'm sure everyone knows that Michelle Obama has taken on the nation's health as her personal mission during her husband's term in office. We know about the White House Garden and the Let's Move Campaign, but maybe, like me, you hadn't heard about Madam FLOTUS's "Three Sisters" garden.

What's a Three Sisters Garden, you ask?

"Perhaps the best known products of Native agriculture in North America are corn, beans, and squash, "the Three Sisters.” These plants work together in the garden and in our diets. Beans produce nitrogen in the soil to feed the corn and squash. Corn provides a sturdy stalk for the beans to climb. Squash plants provide ground cover to keep down weeds and keep the ground moist. The three in combination make for a very healthy start toward a balanced diet." From the NMAI blog

Mrs. Obama apparently wanted to highlight the influence Native American culture has had on the "American" diet but she also wanted to bring some much needed awareness to the health crisis plaguing the Native American community, thus her garden.

I've never heard of a Three Sisters Garden, but I think it's such a wonderful idea. And I'm so impressed that Mrs. O, decided to make Native American health a national priority. Too often, way too often Native Americans are truly the invisible ethnic group in this country, which may explain why it is only now that I'm hearing about the Three Sisters Garden, even though it was planted in June. Did anyone else hear about it? I'm curious if I just had my eyes closed or perhaps the mainstream media is intent on keeping Native American issues on the back page.

To see a video of the garden, click here. To read more about the garden check out the article on the National Museum of the American Indian blog.

I'm just being dorky here, but wouldn't it be cool if there was a section of the garden representing all of the major ethnic groups in this country? What would that look like? What fruits or vegetables would be in your section. You know in my family garden, that is my kinky gazpacho garden we'd have to have tomatoes and okra.

Peace!

Sympathizing with the Slave Owner? -- "Conquistadora" Made Me Do It

2011-08-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I think it is safe to say that if a novel can make a Black woman sympathetic to an unrepentant slave owner in 1845, then that's some good writing. Suffice it to say, Esmerelda Santiago's epic new novel, Conquistadora does just that.

According to all of the publicity material, Conquistadora is about a young Spanish woman, Ana, who feels stifled by her upper-class upbringing in colonial Spain and longs to live a life of adventure like her conquistador ancestors. So she marries and convinces her husband and his twin brother to move to Puerto Rico and stake their claim in the "new world." This is in 1845 and Puerto Rico is a growing but still untamed island colony belonging to Spain. It was where many Spaniards -- actually any White man from Europe -- from questionable backgrounds could reinvent themselves. It was part of the Spanish Wild West and Ana wanted in, no matter what the cost. Soon enough, Ana and her husband are running a sugar plantation in an isolated part of the island with the African slaves on the plantation the closest thing they have to neighbors.

Conquistadora follows Ana's travails from her marriage and arrival in Puerto Rico, through twenty years of drama. Births, deaths, slave revolts, cholera epidemics. You name it, it happened. But through it all she remains stoic in her determination to make a name for herself in this island nation. To create something from her own two hands instead of relying on her class and parents' wealth. Ana is a survivor and the reader wants her to achieve her goals. Or at least I did. But the problem is, Ana's dreams of making her sugar plantation a success requires the use and abuse of slave labor. There's no other way. Or at least there's no other way Ana and her sexy overseer, Severo Fuentes can think of to bring in the sugar cane and turn a profit. (By the way, Severo is one of those Spaniards from a "questionable background" who is in Puerto Rico seeking fame and fortune.) So, yes, I found myself sympathizing with the slave owner. I wanted Ana to be victorious. I cheered for her success.

So, we come back to Santiago's brilliant storytelling. In my mind, the main character of this tale isn't Ana, but rather, Puerto Rico itself. The island is a living breathing entity that enchants and mystifies. It causes men and women to renounce what they've known before and try to tame her. There are many characters in the book, Spaniards, Africans -- slaves and free --rich and poor, first generation native-born islanders, but it is the island that sits at center stage in this epic tale. After reading this book, one understands not just how Puerto Rico came to be, but why and at what cost. With lush descriptions and an eye for historical detail, Santiago has written a thrilling ode to her birthplace.

For anyone interested in historical fiction, you'll love this book. If you're like me and are fascinated by the intersection of African and Spanish lives and culture, you'll love this book. If you're eager to understand the truly diverse culture of Puerto Rico, you'll love this book. If you'd like an insight into slavery under a different colonial empire than the British (and then American), then you'll love this book. If you're interested in truly understanding the mindset of those who sought to tame new worlds, you'll love this book. As soon as I finished reading it, el esposo grabbed it and read it too. He loved it as much as I did. So, there you have it. Two Kinky Gazpacho thumbs up for Conquistadora.

Peace!

Birthdays, Anniversaries and a Giveaway Too!

2011-08-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Today is a day for celebration in the Kinky Gazpacho household. Babygirl is one month old today. For some reason being able to say that she's survived for a month makes me feel like she's going to be okay. Before now, I still saw her as not quite real. Not quite here. Ephemeral even. And although she's still pretty much a eating, sleeping, pooping lump, she's an adorable one that gets more interactive every day. I think she actually smiled at me today. Although it might have just been a reflex to the sun in her eyes :) Many cultures don't even believe in naming a child until they have lived for 40 days because their spirits are thought to not be settled until then. I kind of feel that way too. But One Month feels good enough. So happy 'birthday' babygirl!

And in other exciting news. Todays is the one year anniversary of my other baby, my first novel, Substitute Me. I can't believe it was an entire year ago today that the book debuted. I officially became a novelist on this day last year. It was a dream come true for me. Here is a blog post I wrote one year ago about the debut.

So today I feel like celebrating. Every since I was a little girl I had two dreams: To be a mother and to be a writer. On this day I can truly celebrate both. And since it's no fun to celebrate alone, for anyone interested in a free copy of Substitute Me, leave a comment telling me about a day you celebrate for yourself. A day that means something special just for you. I'll pick a random winner from commenters at the end of day Friday, August 26.

Good Luck!

Peace and Sweet Baby Feet!

The Not So "Biutiful" Side of Barcelona -- A Meltingpot Movie Review

2011-08-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I found it quite perfect that just when I'd convinced myself that Barcelona was calling my name, I decided to watch the movie Biutiful, starring Javier Bardem. I was desperate and in a rush when I selected the film from the video store, but I love Javier and I knew the movie took place in Barcelona, so I rented it.

I made el esposo watch it with me because I figured if Barcelona was going to be our new "home" we should both see what we were in for. Ha! My bad. If you ever want to convince someone to steer clear of Barcelona, then this is the movie to watch.

In a nutshell, the film presents the underground struggle for survival by Barcelona's (illegal) immigrant communities. Javier Bardem plays the down-on-his-luck Spaniard with a heart who nonetheless makes a living by brokering crappy work situations for the illegals. And there is a bit of the paranormal involved in the film as well. I am totally simplifying the plot because I don't want to give anything away, but I will say bring your tissues and a strong stomach to the film.

I walked away from the movie even more impressed by Bardem's acting abilities but with a more realistic vision of Barcelona. It's a city, like any other big city, with big city problems. I don't know why I forgot this when fantasizing about a move there. So, I have to thank the filmmakers for that, as well as for the nightmares I've had for the last two days!

El esposo still hasn't forgiven me for making him watch the movie. But a wise woman once told me that it is the purpose of good art to make us uncomfortable. So using that as my guide, Biutiful was an excellent piece of art. And I have to say, from a Meltingpot perspective, it was great to see a movie that takes place in Spain but featured Black and Asian characters.

I am happy I watched it, but I can't say I enjoyed it. Did anyone else see Biutiful? What did you think?

I'm listening.

Peace.

P.S. A note about comments: Dear readers, I am reading every single one of your comments and enjoying them immensely. But these days with babygirl, it is so hard to get even a minute to write so I'm not responding as I'd like to. But please know I read every single comment and do respond...in my head :) Keep 'em coming please and I'll slowly swing back to answering back. Thank you!!!

Food for Thought -- An Ode to Okra

2011-08-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

As you can imagine, with a new baby in the house, and two growing boys to feed, dinner time has become a serious issue in the Kinky Gazpacho household. There never seems to be enough time or energy to make a nice meal these days. Not to mention, who has time to grocery shop? Well, I was tickled pink -- or I should say purple -- the other day, because a good friend of mine dropped a big bag of homegrown veggies on my doorstep. Included in the mix? A huge bag of purple okra.

Dear readers, I've never been a huge fan of okra. And el esposo claims he's never seen okra in Spain. Honestly, I really only thought of okra as a necessary ingredient in gumbo. Generally I shied away from it because of its distinctive slimy texture. Recently, I sampled a Malaysian dish, a stir-fry with shrimp and okra, and found it tasty but the slime factor still kind of grossed me out.

So what to do with the big bag of purple okra? I have to admit, they were gorgeous to look at, but that didn't mean I wanted to eat purple slime either. And it was way too hot to make gumbo. So I let my meltingpot mind wander and came up with a delicious recipe instead. I made a shrimp and chicken curry with all that okra.

Basically I sauteed all the okra with onions and green pepper. Added curry powder and some extra spices, threw in chicken breast, cooked that, then added chicken broth and coconut milk, and then tossed in shrimp. Served it all over brown rice and it was delicious!!! Oh, and for a salad I made a cucumber and pineapple salad. So yummy and refreshing.

Now, I'm all about okra. If you cook it long enough the slime goes away and adds a nice thick texture to a curry, for example. My mom also gave me a recipe for okra fritters. I'm going to try those as soon as the heat index comes down, because who wants to smell fried anything in this weather?

I found this website all about okra and am happy to report that okra is also super chock full of nutrients too. And it's so multicultural! So, suffice it to say, okra will definitely be on the menu in this house from now on.

Do you have any okra recipes? Do you even eat okra? Why or why not? I'm listening.

Peace and Sweet Baby Feet.

The Grass is Always Greener... Where Race Doesn't Matter

2011-08-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I think having a brand new baby to introduce to the world makes you re-evaluate everything in your life. Suddenly the choices you make, from eating that extra cupcake to whether you send you kids to private or public school, seem to be so much more important. Likewise, watching the news and reading the paper I'm so acutely aware of what a f__ed up nation we're living in these days. So, my last post on moving to Barcelona was actually not just a fantasy. I was thinking seriously of uprooting the family, throwing everything away that we've created here and moving to Spain.

But then I saw this article about a Black man who recently decided that after moving to France in 2004 that he was coming back to the US of A because like it or not, life was just better here.

Now, of course everyone can have a bad day or a bad experience and decide life is going to be better somewhere else, but I was truly thinking about the violence, the guns, the flash mobs and that damn Tea Party when I was making my case for moving to Europe.

Perhaps because I only average two hours of sleep at night, however, it took me an extra day to remember that England is burning due to race/youth riots. Norway just experienced a horrific attack from a crazy man afraid of foreigners and all over Europe they're struggling with immigration issues, massive xenophobia, racism and economic disaster waiting to happen. So, where is this Utopia I'm hoping to find? Canada maybe?.

I will say this. If Mickelle Bachman becomes president in 2012 you can forward all of my mail to the North Pole.

Peace!

Black Women in Barcelona

2011-08-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Just a link today, but I had to share. So close to my heart. If I moved to Barcelona ( a secret dream of mine), I'd beg to join this group. Check it out.

Where's your dream location to live? Would you do it? What's stopping you?

Peace and Sweet Baby Feet!

Burning Questions from the Meltingpot

2011-08-12T09:23:00.001-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

The world really is a crazy place. Makes me question some things. Maybe you can help me with some answers.

1. These so-called race riots in London and the rest of England sound awful. But I'm having a hard time understanding the looting and lawlessness and overall destruction without any kind of clear issue to protest against. In fact, it seems to me that a British race riot sounds a whole lot like a Philly flash mob. What do you think, dear readers, is the difference?

2. Did anyone else -- especially my readers in Germany -- read about the controversy over this advertisement for chocolate cake that features a shirtless Black child in the ad? If you read the story, the bakery owner claims the child in the photo is one of his employees' children and the connection to the chocolate cake was inadvertent. Excuse me? I'm scratching my head on this one. Was this just an oversight? Are protesters being too sensitive? What do you think?

3. What about The Help? In case you haven't been following all of the heated debates about the new movie based on the bestselling book by Kathryn Stockett, here's the deal. A lot of people of color are annoyed that yet another "White" version of the Black experience is being exalted and praised. There's a very good essay explaining the discontent written by Valerie Boyd called, "A Feel Good Movie for White People." Martha Southgate also penned a great piece in Entertainment Weekly about the historical inaccuracies the movie portrays. So here's my question. Can any self-respecting Black woman go see the movie without wearing dark glasses and a big hat? What do you think? If a film by its very existence is perpetuating stereotype and myth about your own people, what's the right thing to do?

So those are my burning questions. I'm listening for your answers.

Peace and Sweet Baby Feet!

Spanking: Beyond Black and White

2011-08-08T07:13:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Yesterday the New York Times magazine ran a cute essay by the writer Toure on spanking. The premise of the article or at least what it seemed to want to be about, was whether spanking was a Black or White parenting tool. As a Black man,Toure knew from experience and because he writes a lot about Black culture, that spanking is definitely an accepted practice in many Black households. Not all. But many. So he wanted to find out if White people are equally accepting.

The story takes a kind of funny turn and doesn't really answer the question, but I was left wondering. Not about whether spanking is really a Black or White phenomenon, but why we don't ever hear about spanking as a yellow or red or brown phenomenon? As with all things in this country that can be divided up or down the race line, why do we think Black and White are the only colors that matter? And as it relates to spanking, and as Toure's article illustrates, the color of one's skin really has nothing to do with it. Spanking at best is culturally influenced, at worst it's a violent reaction to one's child behaving badly.

I'm Black. I was spanked. Once. I learned my lesson and was never spanked again. El esposo's father never laid a hand on his children, but his mother whacked her three sons across the face, butt and any other body part she could get her hands on. Some of my Asian friends were spanked, some weren't. But we all live in America now and we're all raising our children and some of us spank and some of us don't. Does it help any of us become better parents to say spanking is a Black or White issue?

I think it's just another form of racial one upsmanship to claim Black people spank more than White or vise versa. And like I said, the conversation ignores all of the other people and cultures parenting in this country with opinions and parenting practices. I'm not pro or anti spanking. I think people should discipline their children in whatever way works for them and works for the child and doesn't do physical or psychological harm. And I think when trying to figure what that best way is, we should leave race out of the conversation.

What do you think? Is spanking a racial issue? Are there cultures where spanking is forbidden? Expected? Outlawed? I'd like to hear your opinions and experiences.

I'm listening.

Peace.

The New SpaNegro SpiderMan!!!

2011-08-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Sorry I missed you on Wednesday. But hopefully today's news will make up for the lapse. Did you hear that Marvel Comics will be unveiling a new Spider-Man in September? That Peter Parker, the original White boy who was bitten by a spider and has been fighting evil behind that red and blue mask since the 1960s, died in a recent comic episode? And that the new Spider-Man is none other than a Black/Latino mixie named Miles Morales from Brooklyn?

How cool is that dear readers? Finally a mainstream superhero gets to be colored. Finally, my very own Black/Hispanic sons will see a superhero that actually looks like them and shares their DNA. Kind of. Minus the spider part. I am so thrilled by this turn of events, I'm sure I'll start reading Spider-Man comics just to see how they play out Miles' ethnicity. I'm sure it won't be a major plot device in every episode, but the series creators admitted it was time for superheroes to reflect the cultural diversity of the people reading them. Finally! To read more about the new Spider-Man, check out this link.

What do you think? Is this a major milestone in comic book history? Will this change the way little children of color think of themselves? As potential superheroes? Will a mixie Spider-Man be the Princess Tianna of the under-12 boys set? I'm curious. And you know I'm listening.

Peace.

P.S. Mama Violet wins the copy of Substitute Me!!! Mama Violet, send me your mailing address to myamericanmeltingpot@gmail.com and you'll get a book in the mail. Congrats.

Black Woman + Spanish Man = Asian Baby?

2011-08-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I swear to God I will stop writing about babies as soon as my brain returns to full functioning capabilities, but right now I'm working at like 50 percent capacity due to 'sleepus interruptus.' But I still wanted to show up here on the Meltingpot.

First, I wanted to say thank you to everyone for your kind words and congrats. I feel so blessed to have such fantastic, dedicated readers. Second, everyone who commented will be part of the drawing for the free book which will be announced on Friday.

And third, I just wanted to share the funny comments I've been getting about babygirl. And please note, I take no offense at any of them because well, most of them are true. You see, my daughter was born with a head full of shiny black hair and beautiful almond shaped eyes and she's the color of creamy butter. You see where this is heading, right? Everyone who sees her believes she looks Asian. From the nurses in the hospital to well-meaning friends and family I've heard, "She sure looks Chinese, doesn't she?" Some have decided that she doesn't look 'Chinese' exactly, but rather more like an Eskimo/Alaska Native. My mom keeps calling her our little papoose. One thing is for sure, she really doesn't look like anyone in the current Kinky Gazpacho family.

I think genetics are really fascinating. I know her hair will eventually curl ( I think) and her skin will most likely darken (probably) and her grey eyes will eventually turn brown (or green). And she will start to look more like 'our child' and less like this exquisite creature sprung forth from heaven. But it sure is a trip while we wait.

What about your kids? Did they look foreign or familiar when they were born? Is this a mixie phenomenon only? I'm curious so please share.

I'm listening (and trying not to fall asleep).

Peace.

Baby Girl is Here!

2011-07-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

As some of you rightly guessed, I've been missing in action because babygirl decided to make an early appearance this weekend. Yes, she's here! The Kinky Gazpacho Family is officially now a party of five. Thanks to all of you for your well wishes and fabulous suggestions for baby names and labor techniques. Turns out labor was super fast and thanks to my pre-selected labor songs I was able to make it through without drugs and with minimum cussing and screaming on my part. I was pretty proud of myself. Here's the song I listened to the most to help me get through labor. It's India Arie's, This Too Shall Pass and was my mantra as every contraction came on.

Thank you, India. Even though after that experience I joked that I should name babygirl India, I did not. El esposo and I did, however deliberate quite a bit on choosing the right name. Our daughter in fact, had no name for the first 30 hours of her life, but I'm very happy with what we chose. And I have to be honest, el esposo really gets the credit, as the name was his idea. I know you all want to know what it is, right? Well, I figured I'd have a little fun here. I'll give you three clues what her name is and anyone who guesses correctly will be part of a drawing to win a free, signed copy of my novel, Substitute Me. Even if you've read it, you can still gift it to someone who hasn't. So without further ado:

1. Babygirl is named after a fictitious African princess

2. Babygirl's name means 'help or helper' in Latin

3. Babygirl shares her name with an opera penned by Verdi.

4. Bonus clue: Babygirl's name is pronounced the same in English and Spanish even though its origins are neither English nor Spanish.

Happy guessing!

Peace and sweet baby feet.

Meltingpot Musings -- The Language of Belize

2011-07-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Recently I had a passing conversation with a beautiful man from Belize named Armando. I'll probably never see him again, but something he said captured my imagination. He told me, speaking with a slight accent, that the languages of Belize were, English, Spanish, Creole and Mayan. I always thought Belize was only an English speaking country, the only English speaking country in Central America, in fact. Honestly, I don't know that much about Belize, but when I lived in New York City I met quite a few expats from the country and they all spoke English exclusively. They often joked that people expected them to speak Spanish and they always had to disappoint.

Armando changed that perception for me. When chatting in Spanish, his accent sounded native even though his fluency was a little dicey. But still.

Tell me Meltingpot readers, what do you know about the language of Belize? I'd like to know more. Especially about the creole. I've always wondered if a Spanish/African/English creole language existed and if so, where.

I'm listening.

Peace!

What's in a Name? Race vs. Class

2011-07-20T08:10:00.001-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

So, you know we're still slogging over names for babygirl. I don't know why nothing feels right yet, but every day I'm trying out new names. Feeling how they roll off the tongue. Hearing how they sound when yelled across the room. (You know, as in, Princess Tianna, stop sticking marbles up your nose!!!!) Working out the inevitable shortenings and nick names that will come. I want a unique name, yet I want something that links my daughter to her families both here and in Spain. And of course, I want a name that fits this little girl who already is making her personality known with her strong kicks and aerobic moves in my belly.

Okay, so the other day I threw out a name to el esposo. He wrinkled his brow right away and said, no. He looked as if I'd suggested something truly distasteful. "What's wrong with that name?" I asked. And he said, " that name is low class or common in Spain." Now my husband comes from the deep south of Spain, the region that the entire north of Spain looks down on as low class in a way. He fully understands the wickedness of classism, but there he was saying that this name I'd selected was "common." So I chastised him. I called him a snob. I accused him of all kinds of bourgeois elitism. And he just shook his head and shut me down with one sentence.

"Would you name your daughter Qua'Neesha of JaQuanna?" Day-um. He got me. I'm a snob too. Or am I?

First of all, I don't believe any race can claim a certain name? But like it or not, since the 1980s we have developed what have come to be known as ghetto baby names. I don't really like the term ghetto, but it does serve a purpose and in my mind, ghetto refers to class, not race. (Please read Cora Daniels' excellent book, Ghetto Nation for more on this topic.) And as such, 'ghetto' baby names are not restricted to Black people, they are restricted to people who name their kids after their favorite alcoholic beverage, luxury automobile, snack food, porn star and/or any combination of the aforementioned with excess apostrophes and questionable spelling. I have a White friend who named her baby girl something so cringe worthy she might as well have just called her boo-boo. But at the end of the day, I do believe there are obvious class connotations in names. They have them in Spain and we have them here in the United States. I can't criticize el esposo for not wanting to name his daughter something that will have her labeled in his country when I wouldn't even consider certain names for the same reasons here.

It's just a fact, that certain names reveal a person's class background. And even though we are a country obsessed with race, class matters a whole lot. Let it be known, I'd name my daughter Maya or my son Malcolm or any other name after a inspirational African and/or African American figure. I'm not afraid to go Black. My second son's name is one of the most common in Ghana, in fact. But there is a difference between race and class isn't there? And at the end of the day, we all probably name our children according to our own class condition. I mean if you live in a community where everyone is named Moet, than that's not a problem. Likewise I don't hobnob with the upper class so I would never name my kid Thurston Howell III. I believe that would be pretentious and misguided.

Names do mean something. Choosing a name for your child is probably one of the most important things you do for them before they even come into this world. So much so, a friend of mine, married to a social worker, recently told me that if you don't choose a name for your child within three days of its birth, social services may be called because you might be seen as 'not truly wanting the baby.' Yikes. Makes me think el esposo and I better get on the ball.

What do you think Meltingpot readers? What's in a name when it comes to race vs class? What kind of judgements are made based on a name? Should we care?

I'm listening.

Peace!

Meltingpot Reads-- Mixie Marriages and The "Puerto Rican Gone With the Wind"

2011-07-18T08:34:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I don't know if it's because it's hovering near 100 degrees or because I'm just too heavy to move regardless of the temperature, these days all I want to do is find a cool, comfortable space to read. Of course, for me, the question is always, what to read next. Here's what I have in the TBR pipeline.

1. In the realm of nonfiction, I'm about to crack open, Kissing Outside the Lines: A True Story of Love and Race and Happily Ever After by Diane Farr. In this book, Farr --who happens to be an actress -- tells her story of falling in love and marrying a Korean-American man. Farr is White. She also shares stories of other interracial couples she interviewed along the way for inspiration and guidance. Here's a clip of her being interviewed on The Today Show about the book.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I'll being posting my review of the book as soon as i finish it.

And on my fiction list, I just read about Esmerelda Santiago's latest novel, Conquistadora. It's about a 19th century Spanish woman who convinces her husband to move to Puerto Rico to seek their fortune. He dies and she becomes a powerful plantation owner and healer. I've heard it is supposed to be the first story in a trilogy that has been described as a "Puerto Rican Gone With the Wind." Yummy! I can't wait to get my hands on this one. To be honest, I've only been a fan of Santiago's non-fiction, mostly her first memoir, When I Was Puerto Rican, but this novel with it's Spanish/African/Slavery/Kinky Gazpacho history sounds right up my alley. Anybody else plan on reading this one?

Okay, that's what's next on my list. What about you? I'm listening.

Peace!

No Baby

2011-07-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I didn't want to leave you hanging. It appears that the horrifying medical scare I experienced on Wednesday was probably a misdiagnosis. Me and babygirl are fine and it would appear that babygirl has no intention of making an early appearance. So, just wanted to share. Now, I guess I'll take bets on her actual arrival date. Official due date is August 2. Go ahead give it your best shot.

And really, thank you all for sharing your own 'harrowing' early arrival stories as well as the name choices. I love so many of them. Now my list is up to 30 names! Honestly, your good wishes really warmed my heart and made me feel that there truly is a community of Meltingpot readers out there who cares. You are all amazing.

Have a great weekend. See ya back here on Monday.

Peace!

Maybe Baby!

2011-07-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

So, I don't know if I mentioned that babygirl isn't due until the beginning of August, which is right around the corner. However, due to some minor issues, it looks like she may come a little sooner. Like, Friday! Yikes.

So, dear readers, if you're the spiritual type, send me some healthy prayers. If you're the practical type tell me not to worry, that a baby born at 37 weeks will be fine. (Both my other kids came late.)

And if any of you have some great name ideas that sound good in both English and Spanish, send those my way too. We haven't narrowed down our list of 22 names yet but considering Black Appalachia (don't ask) is on the list, it is clear we need to get serious and find something appropriate.

Obviously if you don't hear from me on Friday, you might assume it's because I'm busy pushing a baby out. But if something does happen, I'll let you know one way or another. Perhaps el esposo will post the news.

Thanks for caring. And for those of you who don't care, who really only read this blog to get their dose of meltingpot news, don't worry, I didn't forget about you. Listen in to this discussion from today's episode of Tell Me More about White Americans believing that racism against White people is increasing. This is not a joke or a feeling experienced by a small fraction of Whites, but a large majority. Listen and learn.

Peace.

Meltingpot Lessons from the Mouths of Babes

2011-07-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I can hardly believe it, but my baby boy is going to turn seven this week. People say because he is very pale that he resembles el esposo, but anyone who spends just a speck of time with him soon realizes that son # 2 is my complete mini-me. He talks A LOT. He is prone to being extremely dramatic and his current goal in life is to be a really good class clown. He truly believes that he was put on this earth to entertain the masses. Oh, and he can wiggle one eyebrow really well and at just the right point for emphasis.

Last night he was sent to bed without dessert for acting a fool at the dinner table. When I went upstairs to tuck him in I stopped in my own bedroom first and discovered the jewelry box he'd made me out of Popsicle sticks last year was missing. I suspected this was his doing so I asked him if he knew where my favorite jewelry box was. And in a quiet voice he admitted that he had hidden the box behind the pillow on my chair. When I asked him why, he answered, "Because I was focused on revenge." It took all within me not to crack up laughing. I love my son.

I love him even more because he has totally inherited my meltingpot gene.

Do you know what he wants for his birthday? My almost seven-year old? His number one request is a new CD. Is it Justin Bieber? No. (Thank God!) The latest Kidz Bop compilation? No, my child wants Putamayo's Arabic Groove. He heard it at a Ten Thousand Villages Store about a month ago and cannot stop talking about how good the music was. Did I mention the child is only six?

And where does he want to celebrate? McDonald's? Nope. Chuck E. Cheese? Not even close. My son has chosen to go to his favorite Korean restaurant for his birthday dinner and he wants to order his very own Bim Bim Bop. To him, eating a whole Bim Bim Bop by himself proves to the world that he is seven. How could I say no to that? Like I said, I love this kid.

So happy birthday to my son and I thank the heavens and the stars for giving me a child with such a unique personality who teaches me every day to embrace the unknown. What do your children teach you? I mean the stuff you never expected. I'd love to hear your experiences.

I'm listening.

Peace.

Mixie Music --Meet Javier Colon!

2011-07-08T14:55:00.000-07:00

Ohhhh Meltingpot Readers,

I'm in love. Thank goodness this man is happily married and I'm too pregnant to become a groupie. Please listen to this man sing and try not to melt. Meet Javier Colon, the winner of the recent NBC show, The Voice. I hate it that this wonderful musician has been singing for years, has released two albums and only because of subjecting himself to an American Idol style experience has he gotten the attention he deserves, but still, I'm so glad he did.

Listen to his version of Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time:

The fact that he's beautiful to look at, is Puerto Rican and Dominican and would have been a teacher if the singing thing hadn't worked out makes me love him even more. I'll stop gushing now, but I'll leave you with this final song of his, Stitch by Stitch. And I'm just wondering, has anyone else been a Javier Colon fan before The Voice? Do tell.

Happy Weekend!

Mixie News in the Media

2011-07-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Sorry about the late post, but I got a little busy today. Since I never want to leave you without some meltingpot news to chew on, chew on this.

The New York Times is noticing multiracial America with a front-page story. Now, the New York Times is the paper of record, but come on dear readers, we knew all of this stuff covered in the story already, didn't we? But still, it feels good when the Times recognizes a critical part of our culture with a big story.

Enjoy.

Peace!

Happy Fourth Of July!

2011-07-04T12:53:00.001-07:00

The Meltingpot is taking the day off in honor of Independence Day. See you all on Wednesday.

Peace!

America's First Black, Female Rabbi

2011-07-01T09:24:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

In about half an hour I'm going to tune in to the NPR show, Tell Me More to hear an interview with Alysa Stanton, the nation's first Black female rabbi. I thought her ordination was recent, but in fact she's been ordained since 2009. Here's her story in a Time magazine article.

I've been thinking about writing a story about Black people choosing their own religion, especially after being raised in a traditional Black church and hearing about Stanton makes me want to pursue that story even more. And I'm not sure it has to be Black people, could be anyone who finds their own faith. I myself have been on a spiritual journey since college, 'trying on' several different religions, including the Bahai faith and Unitarian Universalism.

What about you Meltingpot readers? Any of you have your own conversion story you'd like to share? I'm listening.

Peace. And have a happy fourth of July too!

Book Lust

2011-06-29T12:19:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Recently I asked my facebook friends for suggestions on what I should read next. I actually experienced a three-day crisis because I didn't have a book on my nightstand to read. Nothing seemed to satisfy or grab my attention. I was agitated. I dreaded going to bed. I felt unmoored. Well, not anymore.

Last night I went to the main branch of Philadelphia's public library to hear Tayari Jones and Danielle Evans read from their most recent work. Jones' new novel is called Silver Sparrow and is about two sisters and their bigamist father. Evans is the new wunderkd on the block whose short story collection, Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self, has been hailed as a masterpiece, but I just wanted to read it because I love the title.

But seriously, after hearing these women read and speak about their experiences as writers, I was so inspired. I felt excited to get back to my own languishing manuscript. I stayed up late to read Silver Sparrow. I woke up this morning and read one of Evans' stories as I ate breakfast. Reading sustains me. Good stories inspire me. And now I'm happy again. I guess that's why I'm a writer.

What inspires you? What do you have to have in your life to keep moving forward? I'd love to hear what other people depend on to keep their spirits fed.

I'm so listening.

Peace.

Color Wars ... Pink vs Not Pink

2011-06-27T11:55:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Between the recent J. Crew ad featuring the little boy with the pink painted toenails, to the Canadian family who refuses to reveal the sex of their four-month old child, I've been thinking a lot about gender roles, societal expectations of boys vs girls and the color pink. As I am about to give birth to a girl-child, my ruminations are not in vain. I want to be prepared to raise a healthy girl with a strong sense of self, who feels free to express herself.

Now just some background. My mom had ten sisters and a very strong mother. I went to a very affirming women's college. And I firmly believe in single-sex education. I have never felt any doubt that my feminist muscle was ready to take on the world. Until now. I was all prepared to paint the baby's new room yellow or green or some other neutral color that says 'you don't have to be a girlie girl,' when el esposo raised his voice and said, I'd like to paint the room pink. (record scratch). Since I didn't actually have any other color picked out, I meekly said okay, but then I started to worry if I was heading down some Disney princess path of no-return?

Fast forward a couple of weeks and I get a package in the mail full of baby clothes and blankets from some of my family members. Yes, they are all pink and fluffy. Should I send them back? I wondered. What kind of tidal wave of pink am I going to have to fight? Will Barbies be next? And what does it all mean? Maybe I should be like the Canadian family and name my daughter something neutral like, Moon and let her find her own way.

But then I calmed down. I decided to have my friend paint a giant giraffe on the (pale, pale) pink walls of the nursery and accent the room with chocolate brown and a spot of red. I bought a navy blue dress at Target that was just too cute and I picked up a pink polo shirt for my younger son. And it was my son that made me get a clue. He objected to the color of his new shirt. "Pink is for girls," he cried. And I quickly responded that colors don't belong to one sex. Anybody can wear any color they want to. And to think that somebody could "own" a color is ridiculous. My son bought it and so did I. At exactly that moment I realized how silly it was to uphold color as gender specific. My husband wears pink and I often wear navy blue and black and we are so not gender curious. We just look good in those colors. Isn't that what it's all about? In fact, by buying into color stereotypes (oh, I can't paint my daughter's room pink or she'll grow up to be weak and girly) is as damaging, I think, as only letting her wear feminine colors and playing with American Girl Dolls.

My new mantra as it relates to raising my daughter will be, 'let's do what feels good and looks right." What do you think? Can colors define a person's personality? Do all little girls just want to wear pink naturally? Anybody out there refuse to let their girls wear pink?

I'm listening.

Peace.

Help, My Friends are Moving to China!

2011-06-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

This weekend we're playing host to our dear friends who will be moving to China from the United States, next week!! Mom is Kenyan, Dad is Jewish American, and they have two adorable Mixie kids. But they're moving next week. I can't stand it. Dad got a great job and mom said, 'why not?' I am so excited for them, but a little sad too because our relationship is now going to depend on Skype. But on the other hand, the Kinky Gazpacho family now has a reason to plan a trip to China. Oh, and to learn a little Chinese.

But in the meantime, my friend is kind of freaking out. This move has happened really fast! So, I'm asking you dear readers, does anyone know of any good blogs, and/or online resources for Americans moving to/living in China? I think she'd really like to follow other people's stories who have done this before. Especially Mixie and/or Meltingpot families.

So, all of you expats, especially those who really made a radical move, please share your blog addresses or let us know where you go online for inspiration, a virtual shoulder to cry on etc. In the meantime, I'm trying to get my friend to start her own blog so we can follow the family's progress.

Happy Friday,

Peace!

Black Women, White Men -- What's the Big Deal?

2011-06-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Yesterday I was reading The Root.com and I saw the following headline, "Black Women and the White Men They Love." Of course I clicked on what turned out not to be a story but a slideshow of famous Black women -- from Josephine Baker to Iman -- who have married White men.

My first reaction to the piece was surprise because there were a few women included who I had no idea had married across the color line. Like the actress Alfre Woodward. In fact, I was kind of inspired by the longevity of many of these unions, but not because of the racial differences, but simply because I know it's hard in Hollywood to keep the vows of matrimony. And that's when the discomfort set in. Why are we still highlighting marriages between Black women and White men as if it's worthy of some kind of anthropological analysis? Doesn't it just make you feel squirmy? I kind of do. I mean I don't go through my life thinking about el esposo as my White husband or my Spanish husband. He's just my husband. Am I being naive? Does everybody else view my marriage as some sort of racial experiment?

What do you think Meltingpot Readers? Is it time for us to stop 'highlighting' the extraordinary marriages across color lines? Or should we be showcasing them to prove to the world that when it comes to love, everybody is fair game? I'm torn, so I'm totally listening.

Peace!

The Meltingpot in Mourning

2011-06-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

There has been a death in my family. My uncle died on Saturday. Yes, the day before Father's Day, leaving behind four children, one grandchild and a wife. I have been overwhelmed with sadness these last few days because I was not able to return home to say goodbye, to attend the funeral, nor to be there for my family members who I know are hurting even more than I. I couldn't go home because my doctor forbade such a long trip given my big ol' pregnant belly.

I cursed the fact that we live 14 hours from my family by car. I wondered why we choose to live away from our roots. I mourned alone. But instead of focusing on the negative, I decided I'd like to use this post to tell you about my uncle and his impact on my Meltingpot life.

First off, my uncle wasn't related to me by blood. In fact, he was one of those adults who adopted himself into our family. I think I was eight when we first met. My uncle was a friend of a friend, an architect who was going to help my parents restore the house they'd recently bought. He was White as was his wife and son, but he also had a Black daughter and he desperately wanted her to have Black friends. So this man quickly became more than an architect, and became our family friend. His daughter and I, being the same age, also quickly bonded. Turns out, his daughter wasn't just Black, she was an Alaskan Native and Black. So, thanks to my uncle, in my tiny Midwestern, monochromatic world, I now had an adopted friend, a mixed friend, a friend with a complicated past, and I began to see first hand the challenges of transracial adoption.

Then came divorce. My uncle divorced his wife. It was ugly and sad. As most divorces are. My uncle was hurting and he turned to my mother for help and counseling. (My mom is a therapist). My uncle and his daughter often ate dinner with us as he unburdened his soul. His daughter and I grew closer. At the end of his grieving period, my uncle officially declared himself my mother's 'other' brother. He adopted himself in and nobody challenged the notion. It was as if with his divorce, he shed his former life and became determined to start anew. He took his role as brother and uncle into this family very seriously as well. Almost like the destruction of his nuclear family made him more dedicated to preserving his position in his new family.

After awhile, my uncle married again. This time to a Colombian woman. She barely spoke English and they were passionately in love. (I don't know if I mentioned that my uncle was born in Holland and spoke several languages, including Spanish.) As a teenager at their wedding, a very Latin dominated wedding, I remember being thrilled at the idea of this cross-cultural pairing. When their children were born a few years later, a boy and then a girl, I was even more excited to watch them grow up bilingual and bicultural. Those children were taught to call my mother and all her sisters Auntie and we were their cousins. No questions asked. It cracks me up because they were so convinced we were all related by blood, they told people that they were half Black!

My uncle showed me how to live life to its fullest. He was a college professor who announced one day that he was taking a one-year position in Paris and taking his whole family with him! Oh the jealousy. His kids came home fluent in French. He married a second time, to a woman almost 20 years his junior, but for love. He traveled around the world several times, usually with his family in tow and taught his children to embrace diversity and new experiences. They are the greatest teenagers you'll ever meet. But I think, most importantly, he always, always, always had a smile and a funny story to share. Or a practical joke to play. Like the time when el esposo had only been in the country for only a few months and he called our house pretending to be Immigration and threatening my poor husband (who wasn't my husband at the time) with deportation. At the time, el esposo was freaked out, but now it's our funniest memory.

So, dear readers, thank you for listening. Now you know a little bit more about my Dutch uncle with the Black/Native Alaskan daughter and the Colombian wife and the mixie kids who inspired my own Meltingpot life. May he rest in peace.

Do you have a family member who inspires you? If you feel like sharing, I'm listening.

Peace!

Kung Fu Panda 2 -- An Adoption Tale?

2011-06-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

My kids and I saw Kung-Fu Panda 2 today. I didn't expect to love it, but I am a sucker for any martial arts drama, even cartoons. Well, we weren't even twenty minutes into the film when I realized I was going to enjoy this Kung-Fu tale for more reasons than one.

On the surface, this sequel to the original film, where a schlubby panda learns the art of Kung Fu and becomes a local hero, pretty much takes up where the other left off. Po the Panda and the furious five warriors protect China from evil bandits with their Kung-Fu talents. Things heat up when a really bad guy (a very nasty peacock by the name of Shen) decides to take over all of China by destroying his opponents with his new weapon (a cannon) that is stronger than even the mightiest Kung-Fu warrior. But really the movie is about Po discovering that his father (who happens to be a goose) isn't his real father. There's a line where the goose says something like, "I didn't want to have to tell you this, but you're adopted!" The audience is supposed to giggle at this, because well, gee, dad's a goose and he's a Panda, duh.

But the references to adoption and the enormous effect it has on a person's psyche run throughout the film. In fact, while Po is supposed to be saving Kung Fu, he admits that this quest is really about "finding out who he really is." He is adamant, in fact, that he must find his "real parents."

I was truly amazed at how deeply into the psyche of the adopted child the filmmakers went, discussing themes of abandonment, the lifelong scars that cannot be healed from a parent's presumed abandonment, not knowing who you really are until you know where you come from. I'd even say there was a nod to transracial, er rather, trans-species adoption in there too. It was quite profound. At the end, the panda bear decides that even though the beginning of his story was tragic, he had the power to define himself now and not fall prey to his original circumstances. I was quite impressed, although I'm not sure I agree with Po's assessment of how easy it is to redefine oneself. Also, at the very end, we're given a sneak peek at what will obviously be the set-up for Kung Fu Panda 3, which will clearly continue Po's journey to discover who he really is. I don't want to ruin the whole film for those of you who will be forced to watch it with your kids, but Dreamworks obviously wanted to go deep with this movie and elevate it beyond elementary material.

So, all of my adoption advocates and fellow Meltingpot Readers, have you seen Kung-Fu Panda 2? Do you think it does a good job presenting adoption in a positive light? In an honest light? I'd love to hear other people's opinions.

I'm listening.

Peace!

Black Mom Playing the Race Card

2011-06-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

Let's play a game. I'm going to share with you an "ethical dilemma" and I'd really like your honest opinions in the comments section. Okay? Here we go.

Dear Meltingpot Ethics panel,

I am a college professor with two children and one on the way. My husband, lovingly known as el esposo is currently a full-time student and receives a modest stipend for teaching two college classes. Needless to say, money is tight right now. Really tight. If you peeked at our bank statements, debt records, etc you'd probably say we were two steps away from skid row. But we're not poor. Not really. We know that this is a temporary situation. We know that when el esposo finishes school in a couple of years we'll be in a much better place. But right now we're clipping coupons, eating lots of beans and pasta, growing our own veggies and cutting corners where we can. And here's the part where the dilemma comes in. Summer fun for the kids.

As a resourceful parent, I've found a city-sponsored summer camp that is extremely inexpensive and looks to be very well run. But it is clear that the camp was created for kids from low-income neighborhoods. But it is not exclusive to that community. Or at least none of the camp literature says so. Just recently, I also discovered a soccer program that is completely free and it is for "kids from underserved communities." I signed my kids up for that too because they both really want to play soccer and the fact is, this program is so much better run, with better instructors etc, than the one I was trying to scrounge up the cash for at the local YMCA. Did I mention it is free?

So, here's the thing. I know my two brown boys will be able to "pass" in these community programs. But I know that even though we're cash strapped right now, we're not the target market for these camps. I feel a little guilty playing the race card, but I also feel proud of myself for finding some great programs that will allow my kids to have a fun summer. And FYI, I didn't lie on any of the forms or present myself as poorer than we really are. The fact is, by filling in the boxes marked Black and Hispanic on the forms and the fact that we live in the city limits, pretty much cinched our acceptance, I think. I could be wrong.

So, have I crossed any lines? Am I playing the race card to my advantage?

I'm listening.

Peace.

Black Woman in the Badlands -- A Book Review

2011-06-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I just finished an awesome novel called, The Personal History of Rachel DuPree by Ann Weisgarber. Once again I was drawn in by the arresting cover of a Black woman in a white dress, presumably somewhere out on some prairie. I quickly read the jacket cover and was struck by the final paragraph:

Reminiscent of The Color Purple as well as the frontier novels of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Willa Cather, The Personal History of Rachel DuPree opens a window on the little-known history of African American homesteaders and gives voice to an extraordinary heroine who embodies the spirit that built America.

Okay, so any book that is compared to both The Color Purple and Little House on the Prairie, immediately has me hooked. What a juxtaposition, right? And I wasn't disappointed. The book tells the story of Rachel DuPree, who at age 25 works as a cook in a Black-owned boarding house in Chicago. Originally from Louisiana, her father was a slave, but the family moved North for better prospects. Although she had to quit school in the eighth grade, Rachel has great expectations for herself and without giving too much away, ends up marrying the educated son of the boardinghouse owner. Together the two of them go stake their claim for 160 acres of land in South Dakota as part of the Homestead Act.

By the time we meet Rachel, many years have past since she left Chicago and she's become a frontier woman. Her earlier years are told in flashback, but the action that keeps the pages turning revolves around survival in the Badlands. Drought, harsh winters, hunger, sick cattle, and hungry children are all part of every day life. What's not a big issue, refreshingly, is racism. I mean it underlies the choices that Rachel and her husband make, but really it is the story of every American who wanted to use the land to make something of him or herself. I just loved it because these were Black people in a situation that we never see Black people in. We don't hear this part of the Black American experience. I read the book in chunks every night and then found myself imagining myself in Rachel's shoes the next day as I weeded my puny garden, fed my kids and wondered if the baby I'm carrying in my belly would be harmed when I had to go outside to close our garage in the middle of a wicked storm last week. You know, man against nature and all that. (Note: Rachel is very pregnant when the story opens. So I felt especially kindred).

The book is incredibly well written, the characters unique and the voices believable. The sensory descriptions of the drought will have you spitting grit as you read along. Even though I knew the author was White, by the end of the book I had to check again to make sure as she really captured, not only Rachel's voice but her inner-most thoughts as well. Which I guess goes to show how universal the human experience really is, despite the color of our skin.

Read this book! You won't be disappointed.

Peace.

Labor Pains

2011-06-09T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

So I promise this blog won't dissolve into a pregnancy journal, but sometimes I'm just going to have to talk about this very life altering event that is about to happen to the Kinky Gazpacho family. New babies are a big deal. But honestly, I'm not even at the new baby part. I'm still just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm going to have to go through labor one more time.

Dear readers, I'm going to be honest with you. During both of my previous labors I completely lost my ish. I screamed. I cried. I mooed like a cow. I gave up in the middle and tried to go home. I was in so much pain and agony, I swore I'd never get pregnant again. But, like sands through the hourglass, or some other cliche, here I am again, facing that same marathon of labor where the prize at the end is pushing a freaking watermelon out of a pinhole!

But, I'm older now and wiser. I know better. And I want to do better. I've been investigating hypnosis for birth and am trying very hard to believe in the concept of a pain-free birth. But I've been there, done that and can't imagine that all of that pain I experienced was all in my head and that with just the right relaxation techniques it will all melt away. And I know with that kind of skepticism, I'm not going to get very far. But here's the thing, in all of my reading about hypno-birthing and pain-free/drug free childbirth, there is this glorification of women in third-world countries -- mostly in Africa-- who don't fear labor and somehow give birth with hardly a second thought. Conversely, the idea is, that we pampered first-world women make labor a horrifying experience because we drank the collective Kool-Aid that brainwashed us into thinking labor must be painful and must be dealt with a massive dose of drugs.

Well, the last time I checked, many women in third-world countries die during childbirth. And the ish hurts as much there as it does here. I don't buy the glorifying poverty as an example to model. I just don't. But I do believe there must be some truth to the idea that getting rid of fear must make the birth experience more tolerable. And by the way, I've never used drugs during childbirth and don't plan on it.

What do you think Meltingpot readers? Do women in poorer countries know more about birthing babies in a pain-free way? Or is that just stereotype and heresy? Is a pain-free labor even possible? Is hypno-birthing worth the effort? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Peace!

(p.s. don't you love the photo?)

Burning Questions from The Meltingpot

2011-06-08T09:20:00.001-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

It's the middle of the week and already my mind is swirling with questions. Got answers? Please share.

1. Is it just me or do other people think adult adoptions are kind of a good idea? I mean if you don't have parents and you find a nice older couple who doesn't have children but likes you a heck of a lot, why not legally form a family? Apparently this is a trend that's finding traction in the United States. Here's a recent story about Adult Adoptions. What do you think? Is there a need to legalize such arrangements? Do you see any obvious pitfalls to the process?

2. So my next question is; how do you say Black hair politics in German? My friend, author and journalist Rose-Anne Clermont over at Currents Between Shores has gotten herself embroiled in a messy minefield of Black hair (and ashy skin) politics. Apparently there is some disagreement amongst her readers about what uncombed Black hair means in Germany. The whole conversation started with Clermont's post about seeing mixed Afro-German kids with hair that was a hot mess (my words not hers.) Please check out the conversation and see if you have anything to add.

3. Okay. So my final question is a simple one. Well, maybe not so simple. Has anyone else been following the um, er, recent scandal involving supermodel, Naomi Campbell and the Cadbury chocolate company? Well, for those of you who might not have been tuned in, Ms. Campbell was threatening to sue the candy company because she believed they had used her name in a racist way to sell their new chocolate bar. The ad read, "Move over Naomi Campbell, there's a new diva in town," and showed a picture of a chocolate bar sitting on a pile of diamonds. You can read the story on the Huffington Post and see a picture of the advert. After Campbell's complaint, the company pulled the ad and issued an apology, but Campbell still chastised them claiming they had insulted Black people the world over for comparing us/them to chocolate. Now here's my question. Did she go too far? I'm having a hard time mustering up my indignity over this one. I mean, she has every right to not want her name on candy bar ad, but she was calling on Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson to take up the fight. So, tell me, Meltingpot readers, was there really a fight to be had here? I'm totally listening.

Thanks for reading and helping me find the answers to my most pressing questions.

Beyond Black and White

2011-06-06T12:21:00.001-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Sorry about the spotty posting last week. I was having massive computer issues. I think they are now mostly resolved.

So, today is Monday. Just one more week before school is out and summer vacation (for my kids, not me) begins. Even though I have more writing to do, I've finally allowed myself to start focusing on the fact that in approximately 57 days, there will be a new member of the Kinky Gazpacho family. Wow, getting ready for a new baby seven years after the last one is a trip!

But I don't want to talk baby stuff...yet. What I do want to talk about is the fact that I wish I was heading to Los Angeles this week so I could participate in the Mixed Roots Film and Literary Festival. What an amazing line-up of guests, films, books, and workshops this year. I urge any and all of you in the Los Angeles area to go check it out. And did I mention it's free? Yes, all of that quality entertainment and education is free! I can't think of any better way to celebrate Loving Day than to be at that festival, where the totality of the mixed-race experience is celebrated.

And speaking of the mixed-race experience, I was interviewed today by the lovely Chris Karazin of the website Beyond Black & White. My book, Substitute Me is going to be the featured title for this month's Beyond Black & White Book Club discussion. If you want to participate in the discussion, follow the instructions on the Beyond Black & White Website. Thanks, Chris. Over on her site, Chris is writing all about Black women, interracial relationships (not just romantic) family life, pop culture and other topics meltingpot readers will prolly find of interest. Please check Chris and Beyond Black & White out when you get a chance.

And finally, if any of you are fluent in Danish, remember a few posts back I mentioned I'd been interviewed by a Danish journalist about Black women and their hair? Well, the story is out. Here's the link. I just get a tickle out of seeing my name and quotes in another language. I wonder if I sound ridiculous in Danish?

Happy day.

Peace!

"Secret Daughter" --An Adoption Story, A Family Story, An Indian Story

2011-06-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I just finished the book, Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda. Told from multiple perspectives, the story is about the life of a little girl named Asha. Asha was born in India to a peasant woman whose family did not place any value on females. Rather than have her daughter killed at birth, Asha's mom gives her to an orphanage where she prays a family will adopt her and love her. Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, a young White American woman with a promising future as a doctor and a loving husband discovers she can't have children. Can you guess what happens? Yes, the young doctor and her husband, who happens to be Indian, adopt baby Asha and we discover through the pages of the book how everyone's lives are inextricably changed.

I heard about this book from a good friend and was immediately intrigued by the story idea. The author is Indian and I anticipated an 'authentic' perspective on an often debated topic. I was not disappointed in that the author gave voice to the adoptive mother, the birth mother, the adoptive father, the birth father and Asha herself. We got to be inside of the heads of all of the people involved in this complicated family structure. In many ways, I found it to be a very enlightening novel, especially in hearing the voices of the Indian birth parents and their struggle with the cultural norms that encourage female infanticide, selective sex abortion and the basic devaluing of female life. Gowda does an excellent job at giving each character a unique voice and she doesn't paint anyone as villain or angel.

That being said, I wish the author had given us more of Asha's childhood experience. The story begins on the day of Asha's birth and ends with her finishing college. In between we get glimpses and pieces of high and low points of her life, but I really wanted to hear more about those in-between parts. On the one hand, this is supposed to be Asha's story, but because we have to/get to hear from all of these other characters in alternating chapters, I felt like the reader has to do a lot of filling in the blanks.

Overall, I found the book to be a compelling read. I finished it in about three days. The writing is solid and the descriptions of the sights, sounds and smells of India had me yearning to book a trip to Mumbai as soon as possible. I would recommend Secret Daughter to anyone interested in Indian culture, adoption and/or women's fiction. Ultimately I think this is a story about motherhood and the sacrifices we make in the best interest of our children.

Has anyone else read this book? What did you think about it? Here are two reviews, one positive and one not so positive about Secret Daughter.

I'm listening.

Peace!

The Color Complex - Is it Just for Black Girls?

2011-05-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday Meltingpot Readers,

I don't want to ruin everybody's holiday weekend with more 'bad news' but I feel compelled to share the preview for this new movie called Dark Girls. The documentary, which will be released this fall explores "the deep-seated biases and attitudes about skin color---particularly dark skinned women, outside of and within the Black American culture."

Here's a sneak peek.

Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.

Now, this preview seems to only feature the issues of skin color within the Black community, but I am intrigued to see how the 'color complex' manifests in other cultures. I mean clearly it's not just a 'Black thing.' Can anyone else say Sammy Sosa? Do we not read the papers and know that bleaching creams are still big business in India and Jamaica? My Korean friend once told me that her mother would yell at her for getting a tan during her childhood in SoCal because then she'd look like a peasant. So, let's see if we can get the conversation going here before the film comes out.

Besides the Black community, where does the color complex reign supreme? Do you think if more people outside of the Black community discussed this issue openly it would diminish the importance of lightness? I'd like to hear from people on this. I'm so listening.

Peace!

Afro-Vikings? The Black-Danish Experience Invades My World

2011-05-25T08:21:00.000-07:00

I can honestly say, before I met author, Heidi Durrow, in 2007, I'd never, ever truly contemplated the pairing of Blacks and Danes. Never. Durrow, the child of a Danish mother and an African-American father, obviously has and pointed out to me that the famed author, Nella Larsen, was also a Mixie with Black Danish ancestry. I thanked Heidi for the information but still considered the cultural mix of Danish and Black to be a coincidence and nothing else. I mean really, I reasoned, how many Afro-Vikings could there really be?

Fast forward to last week, when Heidi posted on her blog about a rather famous Afro-Viking named Casper Holstein. A patron of the arts during the Harlem Renaissance, a bit of a gambler, and a philanthropist, Holstein made Durrow's list of prominent Mixies for Mixed Experience History Month.

I tweeted about Holstein and posted on facebook that Afro-Vikings were truly a new mix for me to contemplate, and then guess what happens to me on Monday morning? Yes, just two days ago. I receive an email from a journalist in Denmark who has a Black African mother and a Danish father and wanted to write a story explaining the politics of Black hair to her mostly White countrymen. You could have slapped me silly with a feather. I mean, really. I feel the universe is trying to tell me something about opening my eyes to the Black Danish experience. By the way, I had a great conversation with the Danish journalist and she shared a lot about how she grew up feeling like she had to hide her curly hair in Denmark.

So, as the ever curious Meltingpot journalist, I am now trying to find out just where and when Blacks and Danes collide. Throughout history and today. For example, here's a link to an article on Denmark's slaving history. And here's a link to a recent story about St. Croix's ( a former Danish colony) African roots and influences.

So what about you Meltingpot readers. What or whom do you think about when you hear Afro-Vikings or the Black/Danish experience? I'm so listening.

Peace.

Obama Stopped in Ireland to Pay Homage to his Roots

2011-05-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Don't you just love stories about Black and Irish relations? You know our roots go deep. Well, now they're going to go even deeper because as part of his brief European tour, the president stopped in the small town of Moneygall where his great, great, great grandfather was born and where he still has relatives. Here's a story from USA Today about the visit and here's a link to a video that shows the preparations and blatant adoration the townspeople of Moneygall have for our president. Yeah, Obama!

So, Meltingpot readers, do any of you have a Black/Irish story to share? I'm listening.

Peace.

From Boy to Girl -- A Mixie Identity Story with a Twist

2011-05-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Since somebody thinks I spread a little too much doom and gloom here on the Meltingpot, I wanted to share this inspiring story from the pages of Marie Claire magazine. It's the story of how magazine editor Janet Mock, decided to make the life-changing decision to undergo gender reassignment surgery as a 18-year-old fresh out of high school. Since everyone is talking about Chaz, formerly known as Chastity, Bono's recent gender switch, I found it refreshing to read about somebody who's not a celebrity going through the same process. Also, Ms. Mock had her surgery ten years ago, so we can witness her happy ending.

To read her story in Marie Claire, you can buy the June issue, or check it out here online. I think Mock is in the process of writing a book about her experiences which I will definitely want to read.

If you read the article, let me know what you think. I'm listening.

Peace.

Burning Questions from The Meltingpot

2011-05-18T07:59:00.000-07:00

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

So much going on in the world. So many questions to be answered. Here's some I'm hoping you can help me with.

1. Is it just me, or did everyone else out there assume that the chambermaid at the luxury New York City hotel that IMF chief, Dominique Strauss-Kahn is accused of sexually assaulting, had to be a woman of color? I made that assumption based on the economics of New York City and who makes up the majority of hotel staff. Indeed, it turns out the woman is an African immigrant from Guinea. Her identity has been revealed in the European press. Here's a link to the story. Do you think race will become a factor in the trial or will be used in Strauss-Kahn's defense that the sex was consensual? Dear Lord, I hope not. But I'm sure it will. I've already seen a headline insinuating the woman ( a widow and mother of a young teen) may be HIV positive. Stay tuned for what I'm sure will be a whole lot of dirt be flung on this poor woman.

2. Did anybody else see the Psychology Today headline, "Why Are Black Women Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women?" and think it was a joke, only to find out it was an actual story the magazine ran on their website? Yes, it's true that the pseudo-science magazine published an article written by one Satoshi Kanazawa who actually claimed "scientifically" that Black women have more testosterone which makes them a less attractive species. Excuse me? If you don't believe me, check out the story here. And then check out the Colorlines analysis written by journalist Akiba Solomon.

3. Can anybody help me figure out why I keep weeping at the recent final implosion of Kinky Gazpacho II? I'd like to blame it on pregnancy hormones because I knew it wasn't going to work out. But to see my sister-in-law and my little brother destroyed, has truly become unbearable to witness. While the romantic writer in me wanted a happy ending, I suspected all along that lightning doesn't generally strike twice in the same family. I need a cross-cultural romance story to revive my spirits. Can you recommend one to me? Fact or fiction.

4. And finally, is anyone else just a little peeved and kind of curious why the producers of Good Morning America seemed to have dismissed any need to diversify their on-air anchors? Now the morning news on ABC is delivered by Robin Roberts and four other White people. I like White people as much as the next guy, but I kind of thought there was an unspoken rule of morning shows that you want the cast to reflect America's diversity. See the Today Show for an example. Yes, it's tokenism (Al Roker, I'm talking to you), but the point is made. Head scratching on that one. So does GMA just not care? Hmmm... it's a burning question for me.

Thanks for any answers you can share.

Peace.

Stories of Inspirational Black Men

2011-05-16T09:30:00.001-07:00

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

This weekend I overdosed on inspirational stories about Black men. In about three sittings, I read the stirring memoir, The Other Wes Moore, by Wes Moore. If you haven't heard about it, it's the book about two young Black men with the same name (Wes Moore), who grew up in the same tough Baltimore neighborhood without fathers, but who ended up in two very different places in life. The author of the book became a Rhodes Scholar while the other Wes Moore is serving a life sentence for his role in the murder of a police officer. Even though the story of the "other Wes Moore" is chilling and ultimately a great tragedy, the story is also hopeful. In some ways the reader gets to see where "things went wrong," where an intervention of some kind might have saved a young boy on the brink of disaster. At least that's the way I saw it. I wept for the other Wes Moore as he languishes in prison, because his is a life lost. But if somehow his story can be used as a teaching tool for others, than he doesn't suffer in vain. (Although I'm sure he doesn't see things that way.)

The other inspirational story I drank in this weekend was, The Ben Carson Story. No I didn't read his memoir, I watched the film, Gifted Hands, that was based on his life story. Sad but true, the DVD has been in my house for months and I just never got around to watching it. Last night, with three baskets of clothing waiting to be folded, I finally popped it into the TV and got totally hooked. Carson is a neurosurgeon who grew up poor in Detroit with a secretly illiterate mom and an absent father. He was never a star student in elementary school, in fact he often got failing grades, but when his mother turned off the TV and forced him to start reading two books a week, his world changed. As a mom who wants her sons to never limit themselves, I was just impressed that he literally taught himself to achieve, but his work in the field in neurosurgery is even more impressive. He was the first doctor to successfully separate conjoined twins, who were connected via the brain. Not to mention that most of his educational and career achievements were tempered by the nasty sting of racism which he had to confront over and over again. But that never stopped him.

Here's a short clip of the good doctor speaking about the secret of his success.

So, we're a little bit early for Father's Day, but if you're thinking about inspiring the men in your life, both young and old, consider either one of these stories.

Peace!