And We're Back...

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Pardon me for disappearing on ya'll for an entire week. Ms. Meltingpot seriously got sucked into a Southern way of life. I blame it on the heat and the sweet tea and the fried fish galore. I just never managed to even turn on my computer. I kept saying, oh, I can't wait to blog about this or that and then, faster than you can say 'kiss my grits,' it was time to pack up and come home.

Seriously.

Suffice it to say, dear readers, I'm back. I'm relaxed and refreshed and ready to jump back into reporting on the Meltingpot experience. Thanks for sticking around.

I did take this one picture in the bathroom of a tiny cafe we stopped in for lunch, thinking of all of you. It made me think, yeah, I can take a break from the news for just a little bit. Enjoy!

It's Still a Yankee Paper To Us

School's Out! Ms. Meltingpot's Plans for the Summer

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

In just a few short minutes, my boys will burst through the door with all the exuberance and excitement expected from the last day of school. Yes, it's official. Summer is here.

In the Kinky Gazpacho household, summer really is summer because el esposo and I both work in academia, so in theory everybody is free from work. Of course in reality, not so much. El esposo is getting his PhD and this summer he has to study non-stop for his comprehensive exams in early fall. The boys will be in day camp for only three weeks. Babygirl? Well, she'll be passed off between el esposo and I throughout.

But what about me, you ask? What's on my agenda for the summer? Besides camp counselor, chef, chauffeur and babysitter? Well, I'm glad you asked. Here's what I'd like to accomplish before September 1st. And I figure if I write it down here, you guys can keep me on task. Or at least drop a comment or a suggestion once in a while to keep me motivated. So, in no particular order, here's what I have to do this summer:

1. Write the proposal for my next book. Yes, I'm already working on the next book project. It's non-fiction and a significant departure from my previous books and yet the themes of identity and discrimination will ring familiar. Just a hint, the book has to do with the color purple. Not the book, by Alice Walker, but the actual color purple.

2. Upgrade The Meltingpot. Dear, readers, I went to the awesome Blogging While Brown Conference last weekend and was so inspired. I love The Meltingpot. I love you all. If I could quit my day job and just produce awesome stories for this blog, I would. In the meantime, I can at least make the Meltingpot experience a little more user-friendly and unique. So stay tuned for the upgrade.

3. Write a few magazine articles that I've been thinking about for the last couple of months.

4. Learn French. Okay, I already wrote about my dream of learning French a few posts back. Well, I'm on my way. In true Meltingpot style, I checked out a French book & CD from the library. I've been watching some films in French and English and I've found some free online websites to visit that promise me I'll be speaking like a native in no time. (By the way, if anyone can recommend any other online websites for language learning, please let me know. Merci!) Of course, I'm not going to master an entire language in eight weeks, but I want to be comfortable enough that I can represent our family's interests when we ...

5. Go to Montreal! Okay, so, this has gone from dream to reality. We are going to Montreal, come hell or high water. Here's why. I need some place to practice my French and motivate me to keep practicing my French. I want the children to have an experience in a foreign country this summer and we can (inexpensively) reach Montreal by car. And I really want an excuse to eat French fries smothered in gravy, but be able to call it a cultural experience.

6.  Update passports. Can you believe, dear readers, that I have to get passports for all three of my children. I knew babygirl needed a new passport and so I just checked the boys', just in case. Wouldn't you know, they both expire in July. Did I mention operation Montreal happens in August? How do you say poetic justice in French.

So, there you go dear readers. Those are my summer plans. Of course, I didn't mention some sort of exercise should also happen in all this. Running? Walking? Bike riding? Chasing my boys around the park? Swimming? Who knows? But I'm sure it will all be an adventure.

So, what are you all doing for the summer? Please share and inspire us all. I'm listening.

Peace!

Forty, French and Fabulous!

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I'm not sure if I mentioned that I turned 40 earlier this year. Yes, it's true. I was going to have a grand celebration to recognize this milestone, but then I got too busy and the fact of the matter was, I didn't really think it was such a big deal.

I tried, really I did, to feel some kind of special way on my 40th birthday, but I had to take the baby to the doctor. The boys had homework and I had 20 quizzes to correct. Now, I'd be lying if I said turning 40 didn't give me pause, because it did, but I didn't have any sort of mid-life crisis or desire to leave my husband, inject myself with botox and have an affair with my high-school boyfriend. I didn't lament the passing of time because, let's be honest, these last 40 years have been great. I have three great kids. I have written three great (I think) books. I have a great job doing what I love most in life. And I still think el esposo is pretty darn cute.

And as a matter of fact, when I gave myself a moment to meditate on the idea of turning 40, the thought didn't depress me. I figure 40 is my half-way point. If I live to be 80, I'll be a happy camper. And since I'm a glass half-full kind of girl, I figure that means I have 40 more years to fill with new experiences. That's a lot of living I still have to do. That's like re-living the 40 I've already done, but with new stuff. And that's what I'm excited about. I don't even know yet what I'm going to do with part II of my life. Except one thing. Drum roll please.

I'm going to learn French!

I've always wanted to learn French. I learned a little bit of survival French when I lived in Morocco as an exchange student in high school. I have a vocabulary of about 15 words and phrases that served me well the two or three times I've traveled to France as a tourist. And let it be known, I don't read French at all. You can show me a simple sentence in French and I'll stumble through it like an idiot with a mouth full of marbles. (I still don't really care if I learn how to read French)

I just want to be able to speak what I think is one of the most romantic languages in the world. I just love the way French sounds. I always have. I chose to study Spanish because my sister had already claimed French and I wanted to be different. Well, it's part II of my life now and I say it's time to pursue  that other passion. And the thing is, since I'm going to learn the language for myself, I don't have any pressure. It's all about pleasure. I'm thinking about listening to CDs in my car, finding a language partner to parlais with, and wait for it...we're going to Paris at the end of the summer. NOT!

Dear readers, how I wish a trip to Paris was in my immediate future, but it's not something we can afford right now Five plane tickets? I don't think so. But that doesn't mean we can't drive to a French speaking country. That's right, I'm planning a Kinky Gazpacho family excursion to Montreal at the end of the summer. That will be my inspiration to keep learning.

Okay, dear readers. I need your help. Is there a language program you can suggest? Is the Rosetta Stone really all that? And of course, as the summer goes on, I'd like your suggestions for where to go and what to do in Montreal. With three kids.

I'll keep you posted on my progress. Wish me bon chance. And inspire me with your own stories of personal goals. And you don't have to be 40.

Peace!

Chinese in Spain? Tell Me More.

Hola Meltingpot Readers,

I'm up to my eyeballs in research for another talk I'm doing tomorrow on Spain's Black history and current multicultural reality. But the pressure is on, dear readers, because I have to do the talk, wait for it, in Spanish. Yikes! The audience is going to be made up of local Spanish educators and I just know they are going to be judging my accent and waiting for me to screw up the subjunctive. How do I get myself into these things?

But on the bright side, el esposo will be joining me. After I give my speech, el esposo will be addressing the audience on ways to incorporate culture into the Spanish language classroom. This is the first time we've ever done a conference together. I'm kind of liking it. And I'm hoping if I screw up, he'll jump in and save me! He already translated my entire speech for me. I don't know how to be witty in Spanish in an academic setting.

So, where does the Chinese thing come in? Well, even though I'm speaking mostly about Spain's Black history, I'm also trying to get the audience to recognize that Spain has a significant immigrant population, which makes the country far more diverse than many people realize. So, I was just looking for examples and/or stories about the Chinese experience in Spain and I discovered this post from The Lonely Planet. It's not exactly enlightening, but the comments on the post are fascinating. So many of the experiences shared by Asians living in or traveling to Spain mirrored my own. Take a look and tell me what you think. I'd especially like to hear from other Asians who've had experiences in Spain, either positive or negative.

I'm totally listening.

Peace.

It's Hot Outside. How About A T-Shirt That Says Something About You?

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I live in Philadelphia. It's April. It should be about 60 degrees outside, but instead we're heading for a sweltering 90 degrees today. Babygirl was scheduled to show up for Show & Tell at my sons' school today and I had to dig deep to find a t-shirt for her. And for me too. Two days ago, I was looking for warm pajamas for her, today I'm hunting down sun hats and sunscreen.

Well, just in case, dear readers, you too are looking for a t-shirt to wear and you want to spend some cash on a new shirt that will not only keep you cool, but will have you looking cool too, please remember that one of my many side gigs is running whatrugear.com, a t-shirt company for people who want to wear their identity in style. Due to some administrative oversight (um, I forgot to pay a bill) our web address has changed slightly. You can now find us at www.whatrugear.squarespace.com. Please spread the word.

And as always, give us your ideas for new t-shirt slogans you'd like to see.

I'm listening and taking notes.

Peace!

RIP Whitney Houston

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

We're posting today to remember Whitney Houston. Believe it or not, this was my birthday weekend, so I gave myself the weekend off, but I just wanted to let the world know, that The Meltingpot was Whitney's greatest fan.

I thank Whitney for being Black, and beautiful and for sharing that Voice with the rest of us. I thank Whitney for providing the soundtrack to my romance and heartache.I grieve for her family and for those close to her who could not help her help herself.

Dear Whitney, I hope your voice is soaring in heaven this morning.



Peace!

MultiCultural Holiday Traditions

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

If you're in the Philadelphia area, please tune in to the WHYY radio program Radio Times today from 11am -12pm. (You can also listen via computer from anywhere in the world.) They are doing a show on the changing multicultural trends of the holiday season and I'll be one of the featured guests. I'll be joined by a sociologist named Noah Leavitt, who is studying Jewish - Asian couples. Should be a very meltingpot friendly show. And you can call in with your own stories of multi-culti holiday traditions.

So, this time, I hope you're listening!

Peace!

It's About the Children, Stupid!: Penn State and the Politics of Football

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

I am so angry. And disgusted. Of course I am talking about the so-called, "Penn State Scandal." First, let me begin by saying, I'm not a big football fan. In fact, I watch on average, one football game a season and that game is the Super Bowl. And really, I'm only watching it for the commercials and the excuse to eat pork rinds and nacho cheese dip without anybody looking at me funny. So, naturally, when I heard about a big scandal with the Penn State football program, I didn't pay a whole lot of attention.

I remember hearing something about young boys, and a failure for the university to act appropriately, blah, blah, blah, but mostly I heard about the importance of football to Penn State and to the entire state of Pennsylvania. And I certainly heard one man's name repeatedly, Joe Paterno. I don't care that much about football, remember, so this whole 'scandal' barely penetrated my world. The next thing I heard, this 84-year old Paterno guy, the beloved football coach at Penn State, was issuing an apology and promising to retire at the end of this season because he realized he'd done wrong. People, at that point, I figured we'd come to an end of whatever this scandal had wrought.

So, over the weekend, more information started leaking out. Something about multiple people catching the coach 'assaulting' a young boy in the showers at Penn State but doing nothing about it. Or they told someone but nothing was ever done about it. So, then I started getting intrigued. I mean all the talk and the media coverage was about the football program and Joe Paterno and the football program, but you put the football down and there's a man 'assaulting' a 10-year old boy in the showers at a state university. Was it Joe Paterno? No. The man doing the 'assaulting' was the assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky. Where was his name in all the headlines?

I think more than anything I am enraged at the media coverage of this atrocious situation. Why are we reading headline after headline about Joe Paterno --clearly he is guilty of many things -- but the evil elephant in the middle of the room is Jerry Sandusky. He is accused of molesting and RAPING little boys (at last count there were 40)  many of them poor and Black? Why is this not the main story? I expected full coverage in the Sunday New York Times, but The Times put the story in the Sports pages and talked about, you guessed it, football.

Perhaps because Sandusky is considered innocent until proven guilty, we have to tread lightly, but come on, more than three people reported seeing him raping little boys in the public showers. Rape people. Ten year-old boys were being raped at an institution of higher learning. And we're talking about football? If you want to throw up your breakfast, read the list of accusations against Sandusky here. He is a pedophile who apparently used his charity organization to get access to vulnerable boys. He gave them gifts, made them promises and then asked for thanks in sexual favors.

If I were one of Sandusky's victims, or one of their parents, I'd be really angry at the emphasis on football. It's about the children, stupid.

Sound off in the comments section, if you think the media is paying too much attention to Penn State's football program and not highlighting the real crimes that were committed.

I'm angry and I'm listening.

Peace!

I am not a Superwoman

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I'm just too tired to write today. I got nothing. But I wanted to leave you at least with a song, that pretty much captures how I feel today. Plus, it's a hilarious reminder of the 80's.

Enjoy!

Why I Should Be a Contestant on Dancing With the Stars

Recently ABC announced the new contestants on their hit show Dancing with the Stars. If you're like me and new to the show, basically ABC finds B-list and or otherwise not-so-famous-anymore "celebrities" to compete against each other in a serious dance competition. And maybe it's because this is season 13, but it seems to me the show's producers are really reaching to find suitable competitors. Maybe they have completely gone through Hollywood's B-list and now they're just looking for personalities who will make for good TV watching. Why else is Nancy Grace or Chaz Bono on the show? I mean really, a dancing lawyer?

So, I was just thinking if that's the case, if ABC is trying to widen their net in finding contestants, then they should have asked me. Yes, me. And I'll tell you why. But since I'm not a lawyer like Grace, I'm not going to write a detailed brief, I'd rather just give you a list of five really good reasons. Here goes. And ABC, I hope you're listening, or, um, reading.

1. Like Bristol Palin (a former contestant) I am not a celebrity and I cannot dance. This makes for good TV watching because people will tune in to try to figure out why in the world I was chosen to be on the show and to see if I'll ever master the fox trot.

2. I'm Black and I can't dance. Obviously ABC likes diversity in the ranks (see Brandy, Kristi Yamaguchi, Rick Fox) but usually the Black people selected can dance and they seem to get voted off rather quickly. But because I'm a Black person who truly has a horrible sense of rhythm and was asked to leave ballet class at age five due to habitual clumsiness, there's the air of the unexpected with me. I'd be like an affirmative-action wild card.

3. I just had a baby. Everybody loves a flabby new mom trying to loose weight by being on a major network dance competition. But unlike Kate (I have 8 kids) Gosselin, I wouldn't leave my kids at home in Pennsylvania while I lived it up in LA. No, I'd be a good mother and pull my kids out of school and bring them with me, homeschool them in between cha-cha lessons and let them be in a lot of publicity shots for the show. Who doesn't love cute kids? And my kids are adorable and really photogenic.

4. I'm a writer. As far as I know, there's never been a writer on the show. New is always good. And can you imagine if I won? My book sales would go through the roof and I could slap a gold seal or something on all of my book covers that says I'm a Dancing with the Stars champion. This would be excellent exposure for me and I'm sure the show would benefit too because they could say they support literacy by supporting me. Who doesn't want to be pro-literacy?

5. I look really good in sequins and I have a flair for the dramatic. That's just my opinion, but ABC I dare you to prove me wrong.

My Life, My Hair, My Baby

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Yesterday we took our boys swimming at this awesome indoor pool, not too far from our house. We went out for Mexican food afterwards, then came home and tucked our very sleepy boys into bed. I would have loved to collapse in front of the TV and then gone to bed myself, but I didn't. Instead, I stood up in the bathroom for almost two hours and twisted my hair. Yes, I'm growing a new crop of dredlocks.

For those of you who don't fully understand the process of growing locs, it takes a while. A person can't just walk into a salon with a healthy Afro and walk out with dredlocks. For most people it takes somewhere between 3-6 months for the hair to lock. In my experience, it takes about five months. So, there I am, tired as heck, because I haven't swam in a long time -- and I kind of overdid it to impress my sons who hinted that they thought I was too fat too swim -- lovingly twisting the hundreds of individual locs on my head and questioning my choice of hairstyle. And then it hit me.

For every one of my children, I've had a new head of locs. When I was pregnant with my first child, I'd been growing my locs for three years. They were long, thick and strong, falling way below my shoulders. I remember being so thrilled when my infant son would nurse and grasp onto a loc and hold it lovingly. As he grew, he would play with my hair, reach for it in comfort and play with it in boredom. Sometimes he'd chew on it too, but that was kind of gross for the both of us. Baby spit in your hair? Not so much.

When my second son was born, I'd cut my locs short. He was born in July. It was hot. I wanted a change. So son number two got me with freshly shorn, short locs. His birth coincided with our move to Philadelphia as well, so the new locs, new home, and new baby all felt very symbolic to me.

And now, here I am seven years later and I'm growing a new baby and a whole new set of locs. Initially, I decided to lock my hair because I figured as a new mom, I just wouldn't have time to "do" my hair every day. I needed a style with versatility and low maintenance. Trust me when I say, I've tried just about every hairstyle a Black woman can have -- except a weave -- and dredlocks by far are the easiest and offer the most style options. So I took the plunge. But last night, arms aching and legs cramping, I felt that there was a spiritual dimension to this decision. By my calculations, my baby girl and my new set of locs should both be "done" at around the same time.

So ignoring the pain (I'm exaggerating, the pain wasn't that bad, but I just would have preferred to be slouched in front of the TV) I found a new source of inspiration for doing my hair... besides wanting to be cute, of course. I want my hair to be ready for my daughter to play in, marvel at, grab onto and chew on if she so chooses. Now I know I'm growing them for her and for me.

Does that sound strange to you? Do you have a special relationship with your hair? Does it mean more to you than the strands sitting on top of your head? You know that was the question I wanted to answer when I wrote the book, Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America. So, tell me your greatest hair story.

I'm listening.

Peace.

(p.s. the girl in the picture is not me. courtesy of essence.com)

Pocketful of Sunshine

Dear Meltingpot Readers,

I apologize. I got caught up in the beautiful, unexpected, sunshiny day. I couldn't force myself to write. Instead I took my kids to play in the sunshine. I hope wherever you are you gobbled up a pocketful of sunshine today. I sure did because the forecast in my neck of the woods calls for rain for the rest of the week.

Peace!

Another Hair Story, A Giveaway and a Link or Two

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

So, the picture you see there is me in Milwaukee over the Thanksgiving holiday. I did a reading at Boswell Books and for the occasion decided to straighten my hair. All that means is that I sat in a stylist's chair for three hours while he blow dried the kinks and curls out of my hair, then flat ironed and hot combed them into the big fat curls you see in the picture. It was fun to get all gussied up for the reading, but there were some unintended consequences to me going 'straight.'

My boys L-O-V-E my hair. They want to touch it and comb it and style it for me. Now mind you, my hair isn't bone straight. It's just kind of soft and fluffy. In fact, my older son says it feels like cotton candy. Isn't that cute? Now the hair revolutionary in me at first kind of balked at how much my little manchildren just seemed to instinctively adore my hair when it's straightened as opposed to my usual kinky 'fro. They've never compared the two and sometimes my older son says he wants an Afro as big as mine, but when I say my boys 'adore' my hair straightened, I mean I'm getting googly eyes from the two of them.

But then I had another thought. I'm teaching my little manchildren that Black hair in its natural state, is versatile and beautiful. Hopefully it will be a lesson they internalize as they mature and start assessing beauty in young girls and women. Isn't that the proper way to take this lesson? Do you agree or disagree? Of course some might say I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, in which case, I should probably take a moment to listen to this song by the divine Ms. India Arie.



And in completely unrelated news, if you'd like to hear about my latest writing journey check out this great new website called Girlfriends Book Club. My post is up today and there's a chance to win an autographed copy of Substitute Me. It's also just a great site to check out for book suggestions and the writer's life.

I hope everyone is staying sane as the holiday season heats up.

Peace!

I Have a White Girl Name?

Good morning,

Since I wrote my memoir, Kinky Gazpacho, it's no secret that growing up I was called all kinds of names by other Black kids who questioned my authentic Negro experience. I was called Oreo, I was accused of acting/talking/dressing White all the time. It annoyed me to no end and took the better part of 10 years to figure out how my life experience fit into THE Black experience. But by age 30, I was feeling pretty Black. I was comfortable in my Black skin and I defied anyone to tell me that just because I couldn't use the verb 'fixin' properly in a sentence, that I wasn't really Black.

So imagine my surprise, as I approach the second half of my life, I am told that I have a White girl name. Yes, now I have been informed that my name, especially the way I spell it, is very Caucasian-like. Black girls aren't named Lori, apparently. Is this true? Have I finally made peace with my African heritage only to discover that my name doesn't mesh with my ethnic identity?

The funny thing is, the reason this name thing came up is because my Whatrugear.com business partner is named Tesia. That's pronounced Tee-sha. Rhymes with Keisha. Even before she met me, Tesia had been accused of having a Black girl name. Tesia is White. And now that we're business partners -- spreading the word about identity politics no less -- people have informed us that our names should have been reversed. People meet us and assume I must be Tesia and she Lori. Even after they meet us, they still call me Tesia and her Lori. Then they laugh as if we had planned this funny joke with our names. This has happened on numerous occasions to the point that I'm now wondering, did my parents give me a White girl name?

Not wanting to jump to conclusions, I did some research on official African-American girl names and, sure enough, Lori was nowhere on the list. In the "L" category, names like La-Teesha, Latoiya, and La'Wanda appear, but no Lori, not even a Laurie. You can see for yourself here on the official list.

So, what to do? I suppose it's not too late to head down to the courthouse and apply to change my name to La'Wanda. As a child I did always yearn for a more exciting name than Lori. When I was nine, I thought Oswald Davis was an awfully cool name, but that probably wouldn't help me now. And of course since I've written three books under the name Lori L. Tharps, I suppose I should keep that name for professional purposes. Oh, well.

What do you think Meltingpot readers? Is there such thing as a Black or White name? What does a name do for you as far as identity branding? Have any good stories of your own?

I'm listening.

Peace.

Whatrugear.com Update

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I just wanted to give you the latest update about my side hustle, my t-shirt company, Whatrugear.com. For those of you new to the Meltingpot, in 2008 I launched an online t-shirt company that speaks to my commitment to get the conversation started on race and identity in everyday life. I figure if your identity is plastered across your chest, then people will have an easy way to begin an otherwise awkward conversation.

I've worn the shirts around myself and I've witnessed the power of the messages we've created. Seriously. People in grocery stores and on the street always ask, "what does your shirt mean?" I love it.

So anyway, since I'm also a full-time college professor, a mom and a writer, unfortunately whatrugear.com has not gotten my full attention. We have a great intern who's been keeping the mixie conversation alive on the ?RU Blog but I admit, the company hasn't been the roaring success we had hoped for. That being said, we have lowered the prices on our shirts in recognition of these tough economic times and to see if lower prices might move more product. We're calling it our "Recession Special." So, for now all of our shirts (and adorable Mixed to Perfection onesies) are priced below $20. They're still 100% cotton, sweat-shop free, and made in the USA.

On the bright side, a new store -- that will carry a wide range of products for the mixie community -- is about to launch and will be carrying our shirts.

In the meantime, I'm curious to see how the price change will effect sales. If any one of you have any great sales advice, you know I'm listening.

Peace!

Good News

Hi Meltingpot Friends.

I have good news.

1. Spain won the World Cup! (As if you didn't know). El esposo is muy happy. Did you know this is the first time Spain has ever won the title?

2. My new novel, Substitute Me was featured very nicely in the August issue of Essence magazine. The reviewer called it a "modern-day horror story...that will haunt you for days." Did I mention it is already available for pre-order at Amazon.com? And those of you new here, the book does not feature any vampires.

3. Both of my kids are at camp for the next two weeks. Woot! Woot! (day camp. don't get too excited.)

Hope all of you have good news to start your week off right. Feel like sharing? I'm listening.

Peace!

Curly vs Straight

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

So I'm back from my whirlwind experience as a guest on the Today Show. I got to stay in a fancy hotel, was ferried back and forth in sleek Lincoln Town car and I sat next to almost-American Idol Crystal Bowersox in the make-up chair at the NBC Studios. I didn't watch this season of American Idol, so I just said hi to her. I wanted to comment on her hair, but I held my tongue.

My 30-seconds of fame on the topic of Curly vs. Straight hair felt insignificant and rushed, but I'm glad the whole word got a brief glimpse of the cover shot of my book, Hair Story and perhaps took an extra moment to contemplate the perceived differences between women with straight vs curly hair. In case you missed the show, you can watch the segment on the Today Show website. I refuse to watch it. I can't stand to watch myself on film...except in home movies where I tend to crack myself up.

Anyway, as I straightened my hair for yesterday's program, here's what I learned about the difference between going curly vs. straight. A lot more men hit on me with straight hair. And that's all she wrote.

What about you all? What's your personal experience going curly vs. straight?

I'm listening.

Peace!

Doors Close and Open for Super Mommy/Authors

Meltingpot Readers,

You know that phrase that goes something like, "When one door closes, another one opens?" Well, that happened to me. I had been invited to participate in this fabulous book festival on the island of St. Martin. They wanted me to talk about my book, Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America.

I was so honored by the invitation and thrilled to have the opportunity to experience a new country. But at the last minute I decided I couldn't go. Because of family obligations and my own peace of mind, I had to tell the festival organizers that I just could not attend. (Luckily, my awesome co-author, Ayana Byrd is stepping in for me.) At first I agonized over my decision and beat myself up for not being able to be a jet-setting author and handle my family obligations too. But then I realized that making the decision to not go, freed me from a lot of anxiety. Big relief. And I told myself there would be other opportunities to talk about Hair Story. Little did I know how soon that opportunity would show up.

Would you believe the very next day I received an email from a producer at The Today Show asking if I could share some information about Black hair politics. One phone conversation later and I'd been booked on their show as part of a week-long segment they're doing on hair. I'm slated to appear live on Friday, June 4. Did I mention that the St. Martin Book Festival runs June 3-5?

Of course anything far newsier than hair issues could bump me right off the agenda, but I'm still thrilled that they called. I am also thrilled how the universe proved to me that making the right decision always yields positive results. I followed my instincts and everything turned out super duper because at the end of the day, more people probably watch the Today Show than attend book festivals in St. Martin. Of course New York City isn't a tropical paradise, but I can go and come back and still pick my kids up from school, take the older one to karate lessons and tuck the little one into bed. And for me, that's what life is all about. Super Mommy & Super Author both get an A+.

What Are You Doing for Mother's Day?

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

It's a mad rush today so pardon this short little entry. Believe it or not I'm going to meet a fellow writer in Center City today to talk about his new book. My mission? To help him understand Black people.

Seriously. He's a well-meaning White guy who voted for Obama, like most of his well-meaning White-guy friends and then post election realized he didn't know any Black people. And he wondered why. So he's spent the last year traveling around the United States trying to find out why in 2010 most White people still don't know any Black people...besides President Obama.

Intriguing right? You can read more about the author, Tanner Colby here.

So, I gotta run. I am looking forward to the Mother's Day weeekend, though. I think we're going to see the movie Babies and then out to dinner. Unless the boys have planned a surprise. Which I doubt. What about you, my other mother readers. What happens in your house for mother's day? I asked el esposo for a new pink bicycle with a wide seat and big fat tires for cruising. I saw one on sale at Target. I haven't seen any large boxes hidden in the basement so I'm not holding my breath. Ya veremos.

Happy Weekend!

Peace.

More Hair Stories

Happy Monday, Meltingpot Readers.

I feel the need to update you on the progress with my hair. So I explained on Friday that I planned to chop off my dredlocks, which I did. Sort of. I chopped (technically my cousin chopped them for me) off about three inches of locks leaving me with a raggedy bunch of dredlocks that barely graced the top of my ears.

Then rather than cut the rest off, I decided to un-lock them. That's right. I decided to painstakingly pull apart about two years worth of untouched hair. And even though conventional wisdom says once hair is locked it can never be unlocked, I know otherwise because I've done this once before. Actually my husband, cousin and I did this once before and it took the three of us one full week to unlock my hair. We're on day three now and we're still not done. At about 11pm last night I couldn't remember why I thought unlocking my hair was a good idea, nor could I remember at 8:30 this morning as I was dressing for work looking at myself in the mirror and wondering what on earth I could do with the hot mess of twists, locks, and braids sitting on top of my head that would look presentable to the outside world.

My solution? I wrapped my hair in a lovely head scarf that my auntie brought back from a trip to Senegal. Paired with tasteful gold hoop earrings, I think I'm rocking a very nice ethnic look today. Thank you Erykah Badu and Jill Scott and all of the other neo-soul celebs who made wearing African hair wraps a chic statement of style. And duh, to my African sisters who did it first.

I think I'll be done tonight with the unlocking process. And even though I've ripped out enough hair to probably knit a sweater for my new daughter, I still have a lot of hair on my head to work with. I will be consulting the new book Curly Like Me by the awesome Teri LaFlesh and visiting websites like Naturally Curly and Hair Rulesfor inspiration and education.

Black hair really is a unifying force. Communities are built around it and language and culture forge it together. I am still in awe of how powerful the shared experiences of working with Black hair is. If you don't believe me, check out the website Black Girl with Long Hair and tell me you don't feel the love. I know I do.

Peace.