A New Parenting Magazine for Multi-Culti Families Like Mine and Yours

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Sometimes I'm just amazed at the resources out there for people like me. You know, Black women married to Spanish men, raising bilingual, bicultural kids. You know, professional women interested in advancing the conversation about race and identity. You know, moms who sometimes just like to watch Fashion Star on TV and dream about having the time to actually care about the clothes they throw on every morning. Clothes that they know will be covered in kid slime by the end of the day.

So, yes, dear readers, when I come across some of these glorious resources, I have to share, because I figure, some of you must be like me.


I have to give a shout-out to InCulture Parent. If I was going to start a parenting magazine, this would be it. From their website, here's what they are all about:

An online magazine for parents raising little global citizens, whose mission is to foster great understanding across cultures through the lens of parenting.  Articles on raising multicultural and multilingual children, parenting around the world, columns on the religious life of children, international adoption and multicultural living, blogs, global holidays/crafts/recipes, multicultural children’s book reviews and much more.



I stayed up last night, way past my bedtime and read almost every story on the site. I wanted to chat with almost every single contributing writer and I was inspired and encouraged by many. To wit, after reading a great story about why African babies cry less than "Western" babies, I decided not to despair about letting babygirl sleep with me last night. She generally sleeps with me for a short period, then I try to slip her back into her bed so she doesn't get spoiled nestling next to mommy. Needless to say, night time isn't very restful for anybody.


But last night, I decided to go all the way African, indulge babygirl and let her nurse and nestle at will. And guess what, without me worrying about getting her back to bed, we both slept like angels. (El esposo did too, but he can sleep through a hurricane so, that's not saying much.) It felt good and guilt free. And, maybe I'm overreaching (which I probably am, considering the author was Kenyan, which I am not.), but I felt culturally correct in my choices. You know, justified.


So, dear readers, check out InCulture Parent and give them some love. I've already added them to my blogroll over there on the side. You might want to as well.


So, party people, do you have any resources for mommies like us that you'd like to share? Please don't keep them to yourselves. We are all listening.


Peace!

Don't forget, you have one more day to comment, in order to win a copy of Julia Alvarez's new book, A Wedding in Haiti.

Mixed Messages: Life in a Multiracial Family

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Everybody and their mother sent me a link to this story in the New York Times about the continuing struggles with acceptance and racism experienced by multiracial families. The stares. The hostility. The questions. Yep, it all comes with the territory.

Coincidentally, the other day, babygirl and I were at the local dollar store, buying paper towel for a dollar, when the chatty cashier leaned over to peek at babygirl. Ms. Chatty Cathy was Black, by the way. So, she leans over, looks at babygirl and exclaims, "Oh, isn't she as White as snow." It felt more like an accusation than a random comment and I didn't have a response for her. And I didn't really have time to respond because the other cashier quickly ran over to exclaim how beautiful babygirl was. But first she asked, "Is she yours?" I simply smiled and said, yes, the little Snow White baby is mine.

And I left that store and reflected on the incident for exactly one minute. And then I didn't think about it again. I'm so used to the comments, the questions, and the stares after three babies that came out all pale faced and straight haired. But I did pause last night to wonder what it would feel like to have a baby that looked something like me. At least one that had enough melanin that our biological connection would not be questioned. I've never had that experience.

But unlike the family in the Times, I think because I was born Black and grew up in a very White environment where I stood out like Cocoa Puff in a box of Kixx, I'm used to being stared at, questioned, and misunderstood. I'm not saying I like it, I'm just used to it. And my guess is, for White Americans who enter into interracial relationships, it must be shocking to have those multiculti moments thrust upon you after walking incognito through the world. Hmmm...

What do you think dear readers? Do you and/or you and your family get stared at, questioned or even attacked for crossing the color line? Do you care? How do you respond?

I'm listening.

Peace.

Two Families Who Should Really Go to the Loving Decision Conference

Just four days to go before the Loving Decision Conference 2007. Registration is still open for the three-day conference dedicated to examining the "Next 40 Years of Multicultural Communities." The conference is being held at Roosevelt University in downtown Chicago and will feature authors, educators, activists, artists, and sociologists on hand to discuss (and celebrate) the issues surrounding multicultural identity.

I'll be there talking about some of my favorite subjects like, Black hair as an expression of cultural identity, multi-culti relationships and parenting SpaNegro boys. I can't wait to be in a room full of like-minded meltingpot folks!

Of course there's that element of preaching to the choir. Many of the people who have registered to attend the conference are doing so because they, like me, want to commune with Our Kind of People. On the other hand, those who would benefit most from attending the Loving Decision Conference probably have no clue that such an event exists.

For example, the two families I'd really like to see in Chicago this weekend are:

1. The Andrews Family from Long Island.
The Andrews are suing their infertility clinic for inseminating Mrs. Andrews with the sperm of (gasp!) a Black man. Their daughter, Jessica looks Black which fills Papa and Mama Andrews with unspeakable dread. Despite the fact that Mama Andrews is a Dominican woman with light brown skin. The Andrews complain, "We fear that our daughter will be the object of scorn and ridicule by other children.” Why? Because Jessica has “characteristics more typical of African or African-American descent.” (Ouch)

Of course there are so many legitimate medical malpractice issues on the table, but in the meantime, this family needs to get their act together and figure out how to live harmoniously in a multi-hued family. Move on from the bitterness. And stop giving their beautiful brown daughter a color complex. If there was a poster family in need of a trip to the Loving Conference, I'd say it was this one.

2. Britney Spears, Kevin Federline and Shar Jackson

Not that I'd personally like to spend any time with any of these people, but their lives seem to be ridiculously intertwined and just plain ridiculous. And at the end of the day, whether K-Fed ends up with Brit Brit or Shar he's got a passel of differently hued offspring that need tending to. And whether they like it or not, both Brit and Shar will probably be babysitting K-Fed's kids at some point or another so they should all attend and take notes to take back to Hollywood.

And that's all I have to say for now.

Peace.

A Black Woman Learns A Lesson from Her Biracial Son

The other day I picked up my son from kindergarten and told him we’d be going over to my girlfriend’s house for a play date. Even though my girlfriend’s daughter is only two, my five-year old son loves her to pieces and more importantly, she has cats.

Sure enough, my son grabbed his coat from his cubby and ran over to his teacher and announced, “I’m going over to my cousin’s house and she has two cats.” I smiled at my child and felt all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that he is still so innocent and unsullied that he believes his Jewish, milky white playmate could be his cousin. I left the school with my multi-culti, rainbow-tinted glasses firmly in place.

As we were driving along to my girlfriend’s house I was still thinking about what my son had said and trying to remember what age it was that kids started to notice color and race. And then as we approached a stoplight, it hit me. My son wasn’t being colorblind when he declared that Samantha was his cousin. He wasn’t fulfilling some civil rights prophecy either. It wasn’t that deep. He probably just thinks Samantha is his cousin because her mother and I are so close. We celebrated Hanukah together last year and a couple of times her whole family has slept over at our house. That’s what families do. And the fact that Samantha and her family is White surely doesn’t disqualify her as family –as it would in my old-fashioned mind—because half of my son’s family is White!

When we go to Spain every summer, I’m the only Black one in the bunch. Abuela y Abuelo, Tia Eli, Primo Juan…they are all white and they are all family. So why couldn’t White people Stateside be cousins as well my son made me realize. It was an amazing lesson. As much as I profess to be a member of America’s meltingpot, my mind still sometimes functions like a single ingredient.

Lesson learned.

This would be a good time to mention that America’s Meltingpot families, scholars, activists and educators will all be descending on the Windy City (Chicago) on June 21-24 for the Loving Decision Conference 2007 to discuss and celebrate the future of Multiracial communities. There’s still time to register for what looks like a fabulous conference.

Peace Out!

A Brother of Another Color?

What with all of this talk of international adoption being the new black --it's hip and cool -- you can expect a backlash any minute now.

A journalist friend of mine isn't tired of the media hype yet, but he did want to find out if there's another aspect of the story that we haven't hashed to death. I mentioned in an earlier post that there didn't seem to be a whole lot of Black people adopting internationally and I guessed it was because of the price tag attached. Well my friend decided to find those Black people, and any other people of color, who decided to not only adopt internationally, but adopt a child of another race.

The discussion over whether White people should raise colored children may never be resolved. But does anybody care if a nice Black family is raising a Chinese daughter? Does it matter if the Latino couple has adopted Russian twins? Does the discussion remain the same? Are people of color exempt from the public scrutiny or do they receive more? Speak up if this applies to you or if you know someone in this situation? What are the issues involved? When my friend's story comes out in a few weeks I'll post it here.

In the meantime check out: Anne Tyler's latest novel, Digging to America which involves an Iranian couple who adopts a Korean child. Or if you can get your hands on it, watch Fakin da Funk about a Black family who adopts a Chinese son. It's full of crass sterotypes but it's good for a laugh and Margaret Cho is in it.


Peace.

(Photo courtesy of interracial.meetup.com)