It Just Makes Me Mad

I don't follow the world of tennis any more than I follow NASCAR, the NBA or any other professional sport. But I know a whole heck of a lot about Venus and Serena Williams, Tiger Woods and Yao Ming (the basketball player from China) because they fascinate me as "non-traditional" players. I follow their careers because it's easy to do without knowing much about sports. So of course I've heard about Serena Williams and the racist heckler who tried to mess up her game yesterday in Florida.

I don't have anything to say. It just makes me mad that one stupid guy can reduce an amazing athlete to a color. Of course he didn't succede in bringing Serena down because she beat her opponent despite the verbal attack, but still, it just makes me mad.

Peace Out!

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The Price of a Child

My next-door neighbors are adopting a child from Ethiopia. The people across the street are about to bring home a new daughter from Columbia. And then there's Angelina, Madonna, and Meg Ryan. It seems like everybody's doing it. You know, adopting third-world orphans.

I am not angry or indignant that these well-meaning people are adopting internationally as opposed to saving the poor kids in our own over-crowded foster care system. In fact, I even went online myself and investigated the possibility of adopting a child after seeing my fifth article/Oprah episode/PBS special on AIDS orphans in Africa. I'd convinced myself that it was my duty and obligation to save a child from the horrors of such a life. I even got my husband to consider the possibility...Until I saw the price tag attached to saving such a life.

Almost every website I checked out estimated the cost of an international adoption to be between $15,000-$22,000! I know the price tag on human life should be in the multi-millions, but how in the world can a person with good intentions but empty pockets be expected to come up with that kind of money? On one website, they actually addressed that issue and suggested such possibilities as "Ask friends or family for a loan." And " Take a second mortgage out on your house." Gee thanks. And then what? Bring your new child home to live in First World poverty because you just spent your whole life savings just to get them in the country? Some websites offer suggestions for coming up with the cash, but the underlying message is that if you want a child badly enough, you will come up with some way to pay for it and ultimately the sacrifice is worth it.

I might be the only person though who thinks that the cost of international adoption is insane. Indeed the number of international adoptions in Ethiopia is skyrocketing, so much so that some agencies are warning of an increased wait time to be assigned a child because of the demand. But who is doing the adopting? Even though Ethiopian social servants claim to prefer placing their orphans with Black families, the number of Black families looking to adopt is small. Is that because of the financial burden or are Black people just not as interested in international adoptions? I'm going to hazard a guess and assume that money has something to do with it. But maybe not.

I'd love to hear from someone who has some experience with international adoptions. How do people pay for a child? Should there be financial aid for colored folks to adopt colored babies? Would that be like Affirmative Action? Let's hear it?

Peace!

Time to Wash that Grey Right Out of My Hair

It is with heavy heart that I announce that I am turning off Grey’s Anatomy for good. So long McDreamy, Grey, Addison, Preston and the rest of you. I just can’t seem to care anymore. When I first tuned in, I thought I was getting hooked on a show that was going to be smart and snarky and real. I thought I was going to get a dose of medical drama, coupled with the real-life drama that comes from mixing up a whole bunch of beautiful people from diverse backgrounds in a high-pressured situation. But instead, after last week’s episode, I realized Grey’s Anatomy is just another nightime soap opera with colored faces.

And I know there’s a need for TV drama with a multicultural cast that isn’t about RACE. It’s supposed to be about the characters. I get that. But note to GA’s writing team, you can’t ignore the R-word either. And maybe they dabbled with racial themes during the first seasons, but still, I just can’t watch a super successful Black doctor get ready to marry a Korean woman and the race thing doesn’t pop up. I keep waiting for a Black nurse with attitude to get in Sandra Oh's face or at least give her some shade in the hallways. I’ve had Korean friends who would have thrown themselves under a train before telling their parents they were dating a Brother Man. And please tell me that Working Class White Boy George and his family have/had nothing to say about his new wife’s Hispanic background? I’m not saying these have to be major plot points, but it would be nice to see them hashed out. I mean why have all this diversity if it’s not going to be utilized to the fullest?

I think I’m going to have to return to American Idol for my Affirmative Action TV viewing. I have a hunch a race war is going to ensue if Sanjaya, the cute Indian boy with the questionable vocals continues to get the votes to stay on the show. Some people are saying Indians en masse are voting for him. Power to the people. Stay tuned.

Peace!

(Photo Courtesy of GreysAnatomyInsider.com)

Is Angelina Jolie Channeling Josephine Baker?

I know I’ve spent a lot of Meltingpot space talking about Angelina Jolie but I can’t help it. Whatever your opinion on her politics, sexuality, acting abilities or mothering habits, the truth is she brings attention to the needy wherever she goes.

She recently bought a home in New Orleans, toured refugee camps in Chad and reportedly is about to adopt another child for her United Nations family, this one from Vietnam. Even while I secretly worry about her children missing their frenetically paced mother, I applaud her efforts to try to the save the world by using her famous face (and that of her Sexiest Man Alive partner to boot!). And that’s when I realized she reminded me of another hero of mine, Josephine Baker.

After fleeing the virulent racism of the United States for France around 1925, La Baker fought back the best way she knew how by achieving great success on the stages of Europe and then by doing things like only performing to integrated audiences, adopting the original Rainbow Coalition (she dubbed them the Rainbow Tribe) of children, raising all 12 of them in a castle and in her spare time working for the French Résistance during WW II. The sad thing is, Josephine was so determined to rid the world of those nasty –isms (racism, fascism, etc) that it consumed her (the –isms did too) she wore herself and those who loved her out. Although her career had just begun to rebound in 1975 when she died, she was mostly broke and broken at age 68.

I hope Angelina continues her fight to heal the world of pain and suffering but I also hopes she remembers to take care of herself and her own along the way.

Vive La Baker!

Peace Out!

How Do You Say Mother in Korean?

I'm not Asian, but I play one among all my college friends. Seriously, during my formative years at Smith College way back when, I was the honorary Asian amongst my Korean, Thai, Chinese and Indian friends. I knocked back sushi, worked at a Thai restaurant and ate Kimchi on everything. Once school was over, I stopped looking for a Korean husband and refocused my energy on being a down, bourgie, Black girl but I still feel a little bit Asian inside. And that's why last week's tear-jerking story of Korean-American skier Toby Dawson and his reunion with his long-lost father left me cold.

In case you hadn't heard the story, Toby Dawson was adopted by a White-American family when he was three years old after being accidentally seperated from his mother at a market in South Korea. Toby's adoptive parents, Mike and Deborah Dawson were both ski instructors and had young Toby on skis by age 4. In 2006 Toby took home a Bronze medal at the Olympics in Turin and that's when the world took note of his tragic story. Tragic because even after winning an Olympic medal, Toby Dawson said he still didn't feel completely happy because he never felt he truly belonged anywhere; not in his Colorado hometown nor in his native Korea. He said he always felt like an outsider.

Long story shorter, after wining the medal, Koreans en masse claimed Toby and many couples came forward saying he was theirs. Well just last week, Toby's real father came forward, was tested and he and Toby had a tearful reunion in Korea. His biological mother was suspiciously absent from the reunion.

Now here's what I found most upsetting about this story --besides the missing mother part. When interviewed on the Today Show, Toby's adoptive mother was recounting how important this meeting of his biological parents was for Toby. She made it clear she and her husband had always known he felt incomplete. They even went so far as to adopt another Korean son so Toby wouldn't feel so alone. Then she goes on to recall how for the entire first year of his life in the U.S., Toby would call out in his sleep, Ama Ama. "We don't know what that meant," Deborah Dawson said on camera. "We don't know if he was missing his real mother or the women at the orphanage or what."

Now, I admit, I had a lot of Korean friends at one time. And I know my way around a Korean restaurant. But even if I didn't I can figure out that Ama means MOTHER!!! HELLO!?! And even if I couldn't add 2+2 and get 4, I'd definitely ask someone to translate for me, considering my new son was waking up every day for 365 days saying the exact same thing. What is wrong with people? Do you think that two people who can't make that kind of effort to learn about their adoptive child's culture and language should be adopting children from foreign lands? Makes you wonder.

I'm sure the Dawson's raised Toby the best way they knew how, and maybe he would have been feeling the same way no matter who had adopted him. But this is just one of those instances that makes the Meltingpot think that people who believe that "love is all you need" and being colorblind is a virtue -- are frighteningly off course.

I just hope Toby Dawson finds some answers to his lifelong questions in Korea.

Peace.