Monday, July 13, 2009
Death be Not Proud...and Other Stuff
Hello Meltingpot Readers,
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and patience. I really do appreciate it. I was kind of surprised myself as to how much the death of my uncle unraveled me. My uncle was the one boy in a family of 10 girls and was legendary in the family. With all of those sisters he kind of had to be.
Going home for the funeral included a healthy helping of drama. Big surprise, right? Why is it people have to act a fool when a loved one dies? In our family the drama erupted over the type of funeral my uncle would have. Coincidentally, my uncle's wife of 17 years is White and she belongs to a church that is "different" than the majority of the rest of my Black family. And that just didn't sit well with some of my aunties. At the end of the day, everything was worked out, with a few ruffled feathers and some "no she didn'ts." From my perspective, the biggest difference between the "White" funeral my uncle's wife planned, and the typical ones I've attended in Black churches, was the absence of weeping and wailing and a whole lot of carrying on over the dearly departed's dead body.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of weeping and wailing at funerals. I feel like it serves a purpose. In fact, one of the reasons I feel like I had to grieve some more at home is because I feel like I didn't have a chance to get the bulk of my sadness out during the funeral. Does that sound crazy? I actually missed the shared expression of crying our eyes out together. Even though it's horrifically painful to see your mother and other elders who you look up to for guidance, wracked by grief, there's something about going through it together. What about you dear readers? How do the people in your family and/or culture deal with death? What are your rituals and do they help you process your grief? I'd like to hear your stories. Thank you.
If anyone is going to be in New York City tomorrow, July 14, I will be at the NACCP Author Pavilion as part of the 100th Annual Convention. The Author Pavilion is at the Hilton Hotel at 1335 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York, United States 10019
I will be there all day, but signing from 12-2pm. There are going to be some great authors there, and the entire Author Pavilion is free and open to the public today, tomorrow and Wednesday (July 13-15). Yeah Colored People!
The Meltingpot is heading to Spain next week and will be posting from her in-laws lovely seaside home for an entire month. Any questions you want to ask about Spain, things you'd like for me to investigate, post them here and I'll try to look into it.