Now you know you've never seen a photo of my kids here on this blog, and you never will. Some things -- not a lot, but some -- remain sacred. But I can't do justice to this post without sharing a shot of Babygirl. Here she is.
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| Babygirl |
Well, at least the top one-third of her. What I want you to get a look at is her unruly hair that is clearly a hot mess and in her way. So, part of the reason her hair a hot mess is because she just ran strained pears through it and before that, she'd been outside sweating, so sweat + pears = hot mess. But the other reason Babygirl's hair is mildly problematic is that it's always in her face. I try to put it up in ponytails, but Babygirl has hair like chicken feathers. It's soft and thin and won't hold a style for more than two minutes. El esposo keeps begging me to let him at least trim her bangs, but he knows I'm going to say no, because everybody knows that Black hair rule #1 is that you never, ever, ever cut a Black baby's hair before she turns one! That's like biblical law. Like 100-years-of-bad-luck-or-else law.
I did an unofficial survey of random Black women and they all confirmed that you don't cut a Black baby's hair before age one. When I asked why, the reasons varied and included:
"I don't know, you just don't do it."
"If you cut it, their hair will never grow."
"Cutting a baby's hair is just bad luck. For the baby and the mother."
"I'm not sure exactly, but I know it has something to do with the baby's skull not being fully hardened."
And as Babygirl's godmother said, "You might just invite bad spirits if you touch her hair too soon."
Okay then.
The way I look at it, Babygirl has less than two months before we can trim some of those locks so she can actually see. I think she'll survive. I don't know if I actually believe the legends, but it's a tradition I've followed with my boys and so I'm going to keep it up, for tradition's sake. We have so few of those left anyway. And while I'm 99 percent sure that bad spirits have better things to do than hunt us down because of an early hair cut, that one percent would probably keep me up at night.
What do you think, dear readers? Have you heard that you should never cut a baby's hair before age one? Is this really only a Black thing? What are the consequences you've heard for early cutters? And I know Black people can't be the only ones with wacky traditions around a child's first year of life. Let's hear yours.
You know I'm listening.
Peace!
59 comments:
I'm completely ignorant about hair traditions, but I'm really impressed with how much hair that wee child has. Long!
I think it was around our boy's first birthday that I got fed up with the fussing at combing time and snipped some of the snarly bits at the back of his head.
I was under the impression it was an American thing unrelated to race as I had never heard of it before, but many people on the playground told me about it... So of course we adhered to it (not that hard since neither of them had the beautiful unruly hair your girl seems to have!).
Olivia
It may actually be a Biblical thing, because that's what the observant Jews do, too. It has to do with the peyes (those curls the men and boys have above their ears), I think.
As you can see, I'm not exactly clear on the whole thing either.
I cut my first son's hair when he was 5 months, because it looked awful. The second son's I didn't cut til he was almost 4, and cut it himself.
Nif,
Yeah, we got those snarly bits too.
Olivia,
That's funny. Maybe it is an American thing...but started by Black people?
GP,
Or a biblical thing indeed. Hmmm...LOL!
I think some cultures shave babys' heads to make the hair grow in thicker, supposedly. I think it's India and/or Pakistan where they do this.
This is how/why our loc journey began... because long after the first birthday I *still* could not stand the thought of cutting their hair! At any rate-- yes, we were told by numerous people (all Black, and including many in Haiti) not to cut our boys' hair until after their first birthday. In Haiti they repeatedly told us it would be "bad luck."
This is a tradition for white people, too. I'm not sure why. Another think I've heard is that babies should not wear shoes until their first birthday.
Soy Yo,
I've heard the same thing about Indian hair traditions. And I'm contemplating shaving babygirl's head entirely.
Heather,
Thanks for reinforcing the idea that Black hair traditions span the diaspora.
Anon,
Ok, so it's not a Black thing? Thanks for sharing.
I am white and I am married to a black man. My son's hair was getting so very long around 9-10 months that I said I started talking about getting his hair cut. My MIL kept telling me that you can't cut a baby's hair until he is 1. I thought she was crazy...I had never heard anything like that before. I ended up cutting it. I thought it was a Jamaican thing.
I just trimmed my 5 mo old girls hair....we are Black hope we are safe from bad spirits but I just wanted to neaten her look so I did it myself. She is a really calm baby so it wasnt hard to snip quickly. I saved the hair.
Hello there! I will be looking forward to visit your page again and for your other posts as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about hair cutting in your area. I am glad to stop by your site and know more about hair cutting. Keep it up! This is a good read.
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I'm Hispanic and I have 3 kids 2boys and 1 girl. That's a Mexico traditions to, I really don't know why but if you were to ask any Hispanic about cut a baby hair before 1they well tell you no no no don't do it some say it takes away the straight from the baby's eyes other will say that the baby will struggle talking. But when I ask how are why nobody knows. Even though I don't believe it I still didn't cut my baby hair until they turn 1.
I beleive u dont cut a child hair until they are 1, but my nonlistening baby father took it apond himself to cut my child head. Boy was I mad, but I hope that dont bring bad spirits to me and my son. I guess i to try again withiut a crazy person. My way or rhe highway. He chose the highway a long time ago. Smh
My son is ten months a and refuses to comb his hair. They say that if I cut his hair before he is one he will become a mute. Where is the medical evidence to that? Jamaicans really has some stupid myths regarding babies.
I have 2 daughter's and a son. My heritage is Jamaican and I too struggle with this cultural myth. I would like to trim my 8 month old daughters hair but only because I want her hair to grow back thicker and even. I never cut the first two purely for traditions sake but now I'm curious if cutting will help my daughters hair grow fuller and longer. If anyone out there has done this please let me know the results.
I was raised in Mississippi n da saying is not to cut a child's hair before da age of two. Because it will slow their speech.
I'm from Zimbabwe and they meaning older people believe in cutting the hair from the womb. I never understood why or what was wrong with it considering its washed and clean! I'm glad I'm not in Zimbabwe right now coz I'm pretty sure my MIL would have taken it upon herself to cut my baby's hair!!
Don't know wat the fuss is about cuTting babies hair, am a nigerian and my daughter is 1, her usually empty scalp is now almost full and lenghty, don't think am going to cut it alall, might trim d ends but dats about it.
Well i have a four month old baby boy and i cutted his hair when he was a month old,
Reason being he had eczymer so i had to do something about it am a black person and his dad doesnt follow the culture of cutting babies hair at age 1.
He didnt fuss about us cutting my boy's hair.And about the evil spirit prayer its the only way to curse the evil spirit pray for your babies and yourself thank you.
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Too Funny! I have a 4 month old and I want to trim his hair already. Iv'e been asking around as to why women (with a straight face) tell me not to cut it and all of the reasons are the ones you stated in your post. Lol. funny
Lol. Evrything on this site is just so crazy. It all depends. I'm african. Its the mother who has the decision to make depending on how bad baby's hair look. I'm not gonna take that chance of cutting my baby's hair. I want my home to be BAD SPIRIT FREE
I have a 4 month old baby I cut his hair because at 2 month he would pull it out when he would get frustrated with me breastfeeding. It was difficult to hold him my breast in position and keep the socks on his hand s so he wouldn't pull his hair out. So I cut it ... I fully respect tradition but I don't believe in things that don't make sense. When I asked my mom why I shouldnt cut my sons hair she said it protect his soft spot...lol hair will not protect his soft spot if he gets hurt. Lol. However I do believe a long time ago before civilization it did protect babies head from the cold but now we have blankets ...hats ...beanie ..ect. When I was in cosmetology I learned that the ends of your hair do not effect a persons hair grown when it come to cutting your hair. .. its the same as cutting you nail s. In other words your hair growth is effected by what's going in your mouth... and what's going on inside your body. So there is no medical or scientific fact that anything bad will happen to your child's texture...brain or.....scalp by cutting they're they're hair. But it may strengthen the hair itself , but the final decision is yours I never trust things that don't make sense lol someone simple may have sterted this myth as a reason they're child was challenged and now we're still holding to whaat was experience before science in medicine s. As for bad spirits and bad luck .. pray for your children as far as the other stuff goes ....we all should !
Honestly, after reading all these old posts...the jury is still out. My babys hair is thinning in the worst possible places. The most strategically placed headbands wont solve my dilemma. Oh well.
I have an 1 yr old boy and yes he have head full of hair and my grandmother said do not cut his hair bcuz he mite have problems with speech
I cut my sons hair at 3 months, it was getting to long and unruly. I get funny looks when I tell old timers this. Its my son, my choice. My God is bigger than the boogy man, so my son and myself are protected by My Heavenly Father and in the Name of Jesus, and it is so!
Well i also waited till my son turned 1 just to make sure but my sister in law and my friend shaved their kids when they were 5 months and their kids speak better than mine so i dnt know if thats true my son is 5 already and is having trouble speaking: (
The only thing you should wait for before cutting a baby boys hair is for his soft spot to go away. That's only if you're using clippers.
White people are told this, too. Trying to find out why.
Regardless, I trimmed my first daughter's hair at 6 months. It was still long enough for a pony before she was a year.
My second daughter had a funky duck tail cut off at 3 months.
My third daughter lost all of her hair at 4 months, and it grew in a different color. She's 11 months now, and I am thinking about snipping some bangs. It's already in her eyes.
If you exclude my first having Autism, and she has displayed signs of that long before that hair cut, there has been no bad luck. =)
this is far from the truth its just hair it has no connections to the brain what so ever so how would cutting hair beforage one causes speach problems? it dont! the reasons behind speach and delayed speach problems is due to the brian n the child some take longer to under stand words some are shy or just not a big talker or have mental problems or learning disability if you are concerned abt theese talk to ur childs doctor dont sit there with faulse old wives tales . what if a child had serious problems and the mother came across this and she had cut her childs hair befor age one n she belives thats what caused it? then two years latervwhen the child is in school n not talking etc. and teachers appoint her to a doctor and he says this kid has mental issues or is mute or cant hear ggod n has a learning disability? people need to keep away from old wives tales their faulse n they were made up when they thought the world was flat and pregnant women had sea monster developing inside them n when it came out it changed to a human times just like superstitions their fake just like the bible n god in every religon there is some magical hero who comes to a man and sweeps him off to a godly place on a unicorn its all fairy tales n u cant blame themthat was their form of entertainment befor thwy had tvs n radios its just like war loards in africa who think eating childrens hearts will make em bullet proof or the gooks who eat aborted babies for sexual health this world is disgusting . i cut my sons hair when he was 11 months his father wants me to grow it out cuz he thinks that make him talk its stupid and people need to raise their kids how they see fit if ur child has hair thats in her face n she cant see thats a serious accident waiting to happen n itwould be all ur fault cuz you didnt trim her bangs all it takes is a step down stairs n she can have her hair in her eyes and trip n fall face first or worse get serious life injuries throw the old wives tales books out its the 21st century get with the times
Well, my parents are Jamaican and my mom always said don't cut my son's hair until he turns 1. Me being the daughter that I am cut my son hair. It was entirely too much hair for a boy and people always mistakes him for a girl. Anyways by age 4 he was in speech therapy. To this day my son studdars. He is 13 now. Boy I wish I just listened to my parents.
I've always heard, "Don't cut baby's hair until after the first birthday." but never heard it limited to any race or ethnicity.
Don't want to insult anyone but it's all in the mind. I had a friend who cut her son's hair before he was one, he was fine. No speech issues or spirits. It's only hair.
Your son who cut hair at 5mnths how old is he now, I cut my son hair at 5mnths but I getting negative feedback from ppl
Got to love it when people do things with no factual evidence or reason behind it. This post makes me laugh. whatever the race here... please don't spawn anymore if you believe this.
Amen. Haha I feel bad cause I was telling a friend that She shouldn't have cut her 8 month old (at that time) hair but I had no reason behind telling her to wait until he was 1 year old. Now that I see it has nothing to do with anything I am going to apologize then get my 7 month old hair cut. Lol
Do you read to your child? Get help from Child Psychologist and Speech Therapist ASAP.
You CUT your child's hair, not "cutted" honey. ��
The medical condition is spelled Eczema.
When you misspell a word a red line appears underneath the word. Don't know how to spell something, an online dictionary is helpful, but
often if you start out not knowing how to spell it, the correct word doesn't come up. So, sometimes I do a Google search on the word and Google has programs to try to workout what one really means! LOL!!! I use dictionaries every day.
I guess my argument would be....how do you know your children would have been any different had you not cut their hair before the age of one.. I think your child would have had problems with speech either way...there is no way to tell. Sounds like someone back in the day was shamed or embarrassed at their childs development and decided to blame it on the hair cut...BAM...Tradition created!
Ok people remember that some people who post here might not be so well versed in English because it is not their first language. Let me see Americans write a paragraph in another language even after studying it. Be nice. My DIL just had my grandson's hair cut professionally. He was 8 months old. He had an uneven puff on the top of his head because like some babies of African descent he lost alot of hair on the back of his head. The back is growing back but the top had a big head start. My DIL is white so his hair is all over the place, curly on top and the back is growing in straight. But he is the cutest little boy I have ever seen. And not just a Gammy's prejudice. LOL
You mean Everyday? Lmao
I am Hispanic and I have a 2 month old that was born with a head full of hair by his second month his ears were covered with hair and down his neck. It's summer and a hot summer so he was always sweating I finally decided to give him a trim and he looked like a whole new baby gorgeous as can be when my mom and mother in law saw him I was in deep trouble. instead of compliments I got yelled at. In my mother in laws words "what did you do! You are not supposed to cut his hair until his one!! And my response was why ?! She responded because "they say" if you do he will not be able to speak! REALLY and of course I had to ask who is they and what connection does hair have with the ability to speak? They response umm I don't know but you don't do it. So no this is not just a black believe it's Hispanic but I do not belive it I cut my 6 yr Olds hair when he was 4 months and he never stops talking :)
I was told you can trim hair at one but use shears and don't cut too short because you can ruin texture and or growth of hair. I wish I just waited till 2 with my son because I saw immediate difference. his hair wasn't as soft and was really dry and his curls became tighter. Meanwhile I used clippers with a guard instead of shears so I cut shorter than I intended because it was my first time using them.
I was also told not to allow his hairline to be lined up or taped up until like 12yrs because that's about when it's fully set. If do too soon it won't fill in properly.
I think it's more about giving hair a chance to set, as in the direction it is going to grow in, because the hair of babies tend to not have set direction. At birth it's in one direction, afterwards you can notice it change directions over time and it may continue to change. If you cut against the grain it can negatively affect the texture and growth.
I'm old and don't care too much about having a fancy haircut. Maybe this comes from living on a boat for a while. You just want your hair short and out of the way.art on the head
I am from London and recentry cut my 8-month old daughter'so hair with hair scissors. She had lots of bald spots, so I took the plunge get in the hope that her hair would grow more evenly. In London, we have the same myths...I haven't made a mistake
Apologies for my typos...my message looked better when typical for lol
Apologies for my typos...my message looked better when typical for lol
I am from London and recentry cut my 8-month old daughter'so hair with hair scissors. She had lots of bald spots, so I took the plunge get in the hope that her hair would grow more evenly. In London, we have the same myths...I haven't made a mistake
He cuts his own hair, and it looks great. So great, in fact, that his friends often get him to cut theirs as well because his talent in drawing translates into true style (think modern superhero).why not try these out
Lol no it's not an American thing I'm originally from the Bahamas and the reason why we don't cut Baby hair that early is because of there soft spot on the top of they head we think it interfere with there speech.
Lol yes so true I was told the same thing. My baby just turned one last week and going today for he's first hair cut
I am a new african mother....i cut my sons hair at 3 months coz in our culture u have to cut babys hair to allow new fresh hair to grow....not cutting baby's hair is bad luck for black people in africa
I am a new african mother....i cut my sons hair at 3 months coz in our culture u have to cut babys hair to allow new fresh hair to grow....not cutting baby's hair is bad luck for black people in africa
Workout should be work out
interesting! my dad is from Ghana and I know in west Africa there is a tradition to completely cut babys hair after some weeks or few months. The reason I heard is cleanliness(babys hair was in the mothers womb). It is a kind of ritual to emphasis that a new phase outside the womb has started.
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I was told that it had to do with a connection to God. Not to cut it before one so God keeps an extra eye on your baby.I dont cut before one were white.
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