Ballet Documentary is a Meltingpot Must-See!

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

How many of you ever dreamed of being a ballerina? Even if it was just for a minute. I had that one-minute dream, but it was quickly squashed by my ballet teacher who informed my mother that I just didn't have a dancer's body... at age five! Luckily, I found gymnastics to be more my style and then I was on to swimming and ice skating and... well, you get the idea. Clearly, I didn't even have the mental fortitude to be a ballerina. But I still get shivers of excitement when I watch other young people dance.

So, you can imagine my delight when I heard about a new documentary, called First Position that follows six young people in their quest for a prestigious ballet scholarship. I originally heard about the film because of the young Black girl profiled. Her name is Michaela DePrince and she was orphaned in her native Sierra Leone, adopted by a White American family and triumphs in the film. I was hooked just hearing that nugget. But the film follows five other great kids, with diverse backgrounds, boys and girls. I am excited to see this movie because if finally shows other faces of ballet besides young White girls.

But rather than me trying to get you all excited, why don't you just watch the trailer and decide for yourself. Let the shivers commence.



Peace!

Is That Your Child?: The Asian Perspective

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

I'm on the road today. I'm traveling to Boston to give a talk at Simmons College on Identity Politics. I'm really excited about it, but of course have no time to write.

But then, in doing the research for my talk, stumbled on this post, that I could have written myself. You know, the one about your child not looking like you because you married and procreated with a White guy, except the writer is Asian, not Black.

So, without further ado, check out this post from Hyphen Magazine about the pitfalls of mixie parenthood with Asian mom and White dad. Enjoy.

Happy Weekend.

Peace.

FlashBack Friday: The One About Black People Adopting White Children

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Here's another popular post I penned, that I continue to get comments on three years later. It's the one about Black people adopting White children. It doesn't happen a lot, but when it does, people notice.

I've been most impressed with the comments where people have come forward to say that when a person is in need of a family, it doesn't matter what color that family is. Sometimes that sounds naive, but coming from people who have been in the world without a place to call home, I trust their opinions. And I appreciate them sharing their stories here on the Meltingpot.

Take another look and leave a comment there or here. And if you want to read more about the trend, here's a fairly recent story from the Griot.com on Black people adopting White children.

Peace!

When White Mennonites Adopt Black Children

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

I hope all of you who celebrate Christmas had a joyous and peaceful holiday yesterday. I did. And I'm still basking in the holiday glow. In other words, today I'm enjoying the peace of the day after the holiday, when there's no place that I have to be, no presents I have to wrap, and last night's leftovers are filling my fridge so I don't even have to cook. Ahh...

But of course I didn't want to leave you, my faithful readers, without your daily dish of Meltingpot goodness. Here's an interesting article that graced the cover of today's Philadelphia Inquirer about Black Mennonites, specifically about Black children who are adopted into White Mennonite families. It's an excellent read and of course raises more questions than it answers.

Take a look and let me know what you think.

Peace!

When White People Adopt 'Colored' Children... on TV

Hi Meltingpot Readers,

Back in the day, when I went to journalism school, we were taught that when a particular incident occurs three times or more, then officially it is a trend. So as a freelance writer, I'm always looking for trends to write about. And I think I have a new one. It is the White people adopting the child of color story line, now seen on a TV or movie screen near you.

Last night after watching a riveting episode of Grey's Anatomy, I saw a preview for next week's show. And that's when we caught a glimpse of McDreamy (who happens to be White) holding a cute, chubby Black baby and saying to his wife (also White) with fervor and enthusiasm, "Let's adopt this baby!!" (cue the cliffhanger music). I kind of chuckled to myself because Grey's Anatomy already tackles such hot button issues as interracial marriage, gay marriage, Alzheimer's disease, mental illness, virginity by choice, and now they're going to throw in transracial adoption. That's a lot to handle for a one-hour drama.

But then it hit me that the White couple adopting the child of color story line isn't new or maybe even controversial. In fact, one might just call it trendy right now, at least in Hollywood. Think about it. On the wildly popular new show, Modern Family the gay White couple has an adopted baby girl from China. In the movie, Easy A, the White couple with one biological White child, also has an adopted Black son. (Here's a funny clip from the movie). And then, believe it or not, in the Easter flick Hop, the White family at the center of the story has an adopted Asian daughter. But the thing is in all of these examples, the fact that these children are adopted or of another race is so not the issue. In fact, it's almost a non-issue, which I think is a little silly, but we're talking Hollywood so what can one expect?

So, I'm wondering? Is this a good thing for transracial adoption to be the next cool thing to add spice to your sitcom or movie? Does it normalize or trivialize the experience? What do you think? In a weird twist of Life imitating Art, Law & Order actress, Mariska Hargitay recently adopted a Black baby girl. Will that story line enter the Law & Order franchise? Hmmm.

Have you seen other recent examples from Hollywood where a White family adopts a child of color? Tell us about it. I'm listening. Of course.

Peace!

Malaysia On My Mind

Meltingpot Readers,

I have a new friend. Turns out we both live in Philly. We went to the same college (although not at the same time). We both have two kids. We met actually when our kids were taking tennis lessons at the same school. Then we bumped into each other again at the music school where both of our older sons take lessons...on the same day! We knew we were obviously destined to be friends. But there's more. My new friend came to Philly to teach at Temple University. That's where I teach. But here's the part where we really bonded. My new friend is also married to a Spaniard! We have so much in common. So much to talk about. But did I mention my new friend is Malaysian?

Here's the thing. Prior to meeting my new best friend, I don't think I ever really thought about Malaysia. I didn't have any negative feeling or thoughts about the country, it just never passed my radar screen. I've never read books about Malaysia, seen any movies set in Malaysia, nor known any people of Malaysian descent. But it's funny how all of that can change just by meeting a single person.

I am now officially intrigued by this country that is truly a meltingpot of cultures, Chinese, Indian and Malay. Coincidentally, soon after meeting my new friend, I was taken to a Malaysian restaurant for a dinner party. The food was delicious and sparked my interest in learning even more about Malaysian culture and cuisine because throughout the evening I sampled dishes with seemingly distinctive African influences. I sampled a dish with okra and shrimp, sweet potatoes were also on the menu and dessert included a sweet red bean soup that also featured black-eyed peas. Hello!

In two weeks, my new friend and our very mixie families will be celebrating Chinese New Year together. She's taking us all to Chinatown and to her favorite Malaysian restaurant. I can't wait. In the meantime I'm trying to learn all I can about Malaysian culture. Not because I want to impress my friend but simply because I am now officially intrigued. Anybody have any good books and or movies to suggest?

I just love it that besides having a new friend (and el esposo loves my friend's esposo too which makes things even better) I get a chance to learn something new about the rest of the world. I get access to learning about an entirely new culture. This is why I love living in America's meltingpot. What about you? Have you ever found a friend from a completely different part of the world but you bonded instantly? What brought you together and what did you learn from the experience?

I'm listening.

Peace!

White Mommies, Black Girl, Riveting Film

Last night I watched the second film of a three-part documentary series on PBS about adoption. The movie was called Off and Running and tackled the issue of transracial adoption. On the surface, Off and Running followed the journey of a young African-American teen -- Avery Klein-Cloud, adopted by White lesbian mothers, who was searching for her birth mother. But Avery's real quest was to find herself.

Like most documentaries, this film did an excellent job allowing the main subject, Avery, to tell her own story simply by watching her carry-on in her everyday life. When the film opens, Avery is sending off the first letter to her birth mom, asking for answers about her origins and her birth family. It's only after the birth mother stops responding to Avery's request for contact, that things start spiraling out of control in the Klein-Cloud household.

I don't want to give away too much of what happens, but it's not like this is a movie of the week. In fact, if you'd like to stop reading here, and go watch the film on the POV website, then please do... but then come back. The point I'm trying to make is that what happens to Avery as she struggles with trying to discover what it means to be Black, was quite predictable. At least to me it was. It was sad to watch, and yet nothing surprised me. The more Avery felt rejected by her birthmother, the more she rebelled against her White mothers, and the more she sought out the company of other Black people to, "teach her how to be more African-American." The choices she made, the people she started hanging out with, the predicament she found herself in, and yes, even the way she started wearing her hair (can you say weave?) all come straight from the 'how to be Black in America' handbook. I should know, because even though I was raised by my Black parents, I was always surrounded by White people and felt woefully underprepared to be an authentic Black girl in America.

That being said, what was brilliant about the film is that Avery also had two adopted brothers. Her older brother is Black and Puerto Rican, and her younger brother is Korean. And whereas Avery struggled so profoundly with her racial identity, her older brother did not. Or at least, from what we saw in the film, he did not. So his presence in the film forced me and any other person watching to acknowledge that while Avery's journey may feel familiar, it isn't necessarily the norm. Every child who is transracially adopted will have their own journey and their own struggles. And hopefully, their parents will have the confidence and grace to help them get through it.

I can't say I loved the film, because in some ways it was painful to watch. Many times I wanted to jump into the TV and shake little Avery and tell her that the way she was trying to reconcile her past with her present was just making things worse. And other times I wanted to shake her parents and tell them that they were doing things all wrong. But I think at the end of the day, that's what good documentaries are supposed to make you do. Shake your fist at injustice and then get off your ass and do something about it.

Did anyone else watch the movie? What did you think?

I'm listening.

Peace!

Should These People Be Allowed to Adopt from Ethiopia?

I know, I know, before I even open this can of worms, someone is going to remind me that I didn't have to pass any tests or prove my worth before I became a mother. And it's true, the burden of proof imposed upon adopting parents is high, but sometimes, just sometimes you have to wonder if some people really should be allowed to raise someone else's children.

Case in point, recently Sports Illustrated magazine ran a cover story on "The Fabulous New Life" of Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels. Included in this fabulous life of fame, wealth, and a lovely wife who is a former contestant on Survivor, a one-time Playboy model and a publicity whore (and I mean that in a technical way. I used to be a PR whore when I worked as a publicist in NYC. It's not a job I enjoyed and felt dirty every day.), is a plan to adopt a child from Ethiopia. And not just any a child, but an "AIDS orphan." Why? According to Hamel's wife Heidi, it's "the right thing to do." She elaborated on their plans in the article.

"We're in the process of adopting an AIDS orphan from Ethiopia," she said. "Maybe two. I'm so pumped. I'd adopt six if I could. When I was five years old—I grew up in a very rural town in Missouri, and I had never even seen a black person—they asked us to draw a picture of ourselves in the future, and I drew myself holding hands with a line of tiny black stick figures. I've always wanted this." She and Cole are also preparing, under the auspices of the fledgling Hamels Foundation, to build a girls' school in Malawi. Heidi has made a couple of monthlong research trips there. "We're not just doing it because it's the Brad and Angelina plan, but because we're in the position to do it and it's the right thing to do," she said.

For some reason, that just creeps me out. How could anyone use the word "pumped" in relation to children who have been orphaned because of a horrible disease? What's more, is a woman who admits she never knew any Black people growing up, but liked to draw black stick figures, really ready to face the challenges of rearing a child of color in the United States? Shouldn't somebody call Ethiopia or something and warn them of this impending disaster? Or am I being too harsh? I don't think Hamels and his wife are bad people, and I think it's amazing that they are committed to trying to help those most in need, but maybe they should concentrate their efforts on building that school, instead of adopting 6 orphans. Or maybe they could spend some of their money sponsoring a child in Ethiopia, instead of bringing them to Philadelphia. Not everyone has to adopt a child to show they care. There are so many ways to make a difference.

In situations like these, you want to say their hearts are in the right place, but Lord knows, that is not nearly enough to deal with a child of another race, from a different culture, with a potentially fatal disease that comes with its own set of stigmas. It really just isn't enough. Thoughts? Would you sign off on this couple adopting an Ethiopian child with AIDS?

Peace!

p.s. If you'd like to read the entire SI article, you can read it here.

My Secret Addiction to...Adoption Blogs

Please note this entry has been edited to correct a misconception about my opinion on transracial adoptions. I don't really have a blanket opinion on the subject. I think each and and family should be allowed to be a family. And if they have problems, let them be judged individually. See below for further explanation and as always, thank you for reading the Meltingpot. And I apologize if I offended anyone with my original, unedited post.

I'm just going to use this space to confess. There have been many times when I've sat up into the wee hours of the night reading international/transracial adoption blogs. You know (or maybe you don't), the blogs written by mostly White folks about their new and improved lives with their adopted Black (usually African or Haitian) children.

And I'm not saying this in jest. Seriously, I am just compelled to read these wonderful stories of people who seem to be just regular folks, who travel to the other side of the world to adopt children so different from themselves. I always start from their first posts, going back in time to see who these people were before they became parents to Black children, and then I keep reading to see if the experience changes them at all. For me these blogs are better than any reality TV show. There's romance, mystery, life, death, race, and everything in between, played out on an international stage.

Some of the families I feel like I know intimately already and cheer for their survival. But then there are some other families where I cry tears for the children who will clearly have a hard life ahead of them with the nut cases who have adopted them. It's sad but true. I honestly don't get why crazy people put their craziness out there in cyberspace for the whole wide world to witness.

Anywho, one of my favorite blogs of a multiracial family (they adopted twin boys from Haiti and just now gave birth to a daughter) is Party of Five. They are a wonderful couple unafraid to tackle honest issues, smart and really motivated to make their beautiful family their top priority. If you start reading, you too may get addicted. Be careful!

Peace.