Friday, May 21, 2010

Saying Goodbye to Ghana...An Adoption Update

Meltingpot Readers,

I promised not to turn this blog into a play by play of my adoption journey, but I will keep you updated on major events in the process. So far, we're still doing the paper chase and submitting ourselves to a total invasion of our private life by a trained social worker (who in our case is awesome and a graduate of my alma mater, Smith College!) for our home study.

The home study is almost complete so then we can start moving on to the next phase of chasing documents down for our international agency to start compiling our dossier, which would then be forwarded to Ghana.

But we're not adopting from Ghana anymore. We have decided to change countries. Not because we weren't absolutely excited about adding a Ghanaian child to our Kinky Gazpacho mix, but because the country we've decided on seems to be a better fit for our family. More on that in a later post.

I'm not trying to be cryptic here, but I'm not ready to announce the new country yet. I'm still mourning my darling Ghanaian daughter whom I will now never meet. It might seem callous and shallow to hop around from country to country to find your next child and it almost seems that way to me. I don't want people to think we've made this decision lightly. Indeed, I am finding myself needing to take the time to mourn, shift my loyalties, and just place my Ghanaian fantasies in a sweet, special memory box. I will not equate this "change" with a miscarriage, but it still feels like an intimate loss nonetheless.

So, I'm taking my time to say goodbye to Ghana before I celebrate the joy that will surely come.

Peace.

5 comments:

Dee said...

Sorry Ghana didn't work out. In the meantime, let us console ourselves with a nice cool glass of sangria.

LT said...

Dee,
Thanks :)

Melissa said...

I really like reading your blog - sorry we're all reluctant commenters! But I wanted to say that it is so good, healthy and normal to mourn that "might have been" child. Thanks for sharing with us, can't wait to read your new book!

LT said...

Melissa,
Thank you for that. I needed to hear it.

JBH said...

Sorry to hear that...
Adoption for the adoptive parents IS like a pregnancy...the anticipation, the excitement, the preparations...so, you are right to mourn this loss.

Again, my sympathies