My kids are brown, we speak Spanish, but we're not Latinos

Hola,

Since, we are smack dab in the middle of Hispanic Heritage Month (September 15 - October 15), I figured it was the perfect time to disclose an interesting fact about my life. Even though el esposo is from Spain, and we maintain a bilingual household, and our children share the same genetic make-up as the citizens of Cuba, the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, we do not have a place in the Latino community. Never have. In fact, I can't really say I have any really close Latino or Latina friends, which seems odd given our family make-up.

Many people just assume that because we speak Spanish, and we're kind of a minority family, that we somehow are connected to the Latino community, but I'll say it again, we most definitely are not. In fact, many times, my husband, as a Spaniard, has been shunned by individual Latinos because they don't like Spaniards. It's a historical hatred and distrust that apparently hasn't diminished since 1492. Recently a Latina woman said to el esposo, "You know, you're the only Spaniard I've ever liked." I find this fascinating in an anthropological, meltingpot kind of way. El esposo finds it depressing and shameful.

Either way, it is an interesting phenomenon. I admit I don't go out trolling for Latina friends, even though I would like to have a connection to other Spanish speakers and people who share my husband's culture in this country. But I also don't go out trolling for Asian friends and I have tons of those. So many in fact, I used to be called the honorary Asian by my close group of friends. And it goes without saying that White (Gentiles, Jews, and Quakers) people are all over my social calendar. So what gives? We obviously have things in common, but maybe not enough to find common ground.

Is it because I married a conquistador and the sins of his fathers make him Latino Kryptonite? Or maybe it is my own negritude that makes me an undesirable to my Latino brothers and sisters? Or maybe I just hang out in all of the wrong places? I am not blaming anyone or finding fault. I'm just trying to figure out this place I find myself in. And I'm not looking for suggestions on how to make friends with a Latina, I guess I'm just ruminating on an interesting fact of my life during Hispanic Heritage Month.

If you'd like something to ruminate on for Hispanic Heritage month that has nothing to do with my personal issues, try visiting La Literanista for some awesome Latino literary links.

Paz!

Is This TV's New Black Face?

First let me say, I don't even watch that much television, but I do stay abreast of what shows are appearing that feature diverse casts. Sadly, I know that despite the NAACP's official call for more diversity on the small screen, not much has changed. Yes, there are some bright spots, but overall, network TV land still feels overwhelmingly White (Where are you Bill Cosby?) And now, to add fuel to the fire, Fox has launched a new cartoon sitcom called The Cleveland Show all about a Black man named Cleveland Brown and his trials as husband and stepfather.

The problem? Cleveland Brown is voiced by a White actor. His wife is voiced by Sanaa Lathan and his kids are also voiced by Black actors, so I should be happy that somebody Black in Hollywood is working, right? Wrong. I mean, if there really weren't any Black actors who could play the part of Cleveland Brown, sure let the White guy do it, but this is feeling really pitiful to me. Like a rerun of the debate over whether or not Angelina Jolie should have played Daniel Pearl's wife in A Mighty Heart. She put on dark make-up and a curly wig and presto she was kind of colored.

Of course in the cartoon world, maybe this is a good thing? Maybe this will be the beginning of color-blind casting and Black actors will be voicing the entire cast of South Park, the Simpsons and Dora the Explorer. Oh and Shaggy from Scooby Doo. But I doubt it. The reality is, we're not a colorblind society. Race does matter. Even in our voices. Not always, of course. Take me for example. I can't tell you how many times people were shocked to discover I was Black after only speaking to me on the telephone. Apparently I sound "White." So I'd be a great candidate to voice a White cartoon character apparently. But on the flip side, there is a definite tone, structure and sound to the way some Black people speak. I dare not call it Ebonics because sometimes it really is just a tone, but it is there. And the character of Cleveland Brown is supposed to have that tone. And the White actor who voices him doesn't speak like that naturally. He has to "pretend" or "act" or here comes the slippery slope, "imitate" the voice of a Black man. Is there a dialect coach on set, I wonder?

What do you think? Is this the wave of the future and I just need to chill out? Or has a Black actor been slapped in the face once again in Hollywood? Would I think differently if a Black actor was being used to voice a White character? I do happen to know that Cree Summer voices some cartoon characters who are not Mixed like she is and I don't really have a problem with that, but I also think her characters aren't all human either. So let me hear it. I'm listening.

Multicultural Africa on My Mind

The other day at the library, I picked up a new novel to read called, Baking Cakes in Kigali by Gaile Parkin. Parkin is white, was born and raised in Zambia and has lived and worked all over Africa, including in Rwanda where this novel, her first, takes place.

Baking Cakes is set in post genocide Rwanda in an international community of aide workers, CIA agents, university professors and a prostitute or two. Angel Tungaraza lives there too and has set up a bustling cake business, making cakes for people's special occasions. The whole premise sounds absurd, and yet the book is entrenched in the painful realities of a country torn apart by violence and disease.

Besides the fact that I never really think of how life continues after the dust of war clears, I also never think about the individual lives doing the cleaning. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who falls into this trap of ignorance. This book (which I have not finished yet) is giving me an entirely new perspective of the day to day lives of people who call Rwanda home. From the author herself to the fictional character Mr. Akimoto, the Japanese, karaoke-loving, United Nations worker who loves Angel's cakes, I am seeing an entirely new face of Africa

***

And then Meltingpot reader Farah, sends me a link to this new movie, based on a true story called Skin. The film is about a White South African couple who gives birth to a "black" daughter while apartheid was still law. Apparently the couple wasn't as "white" as they thought they were. The movie, which follows the daughter's struggles of finding her place in South Africa's racial caste system, looks amazing and makes Imitation of Life look like a Disney fairytale. I hope it finds a United States distributor. (Thanks Farah for the tip.)

So all this to say, Africa has been on my mind lately, with all of its own unique meltingpot issues. What do you think? Is the African meltingpot even spicier than ours? Do any of our issues overlap?

I'll tell you how the book turns out. In the meantime, enjoy the weekend.

Peace.

Tibetan Nannies are Hot!

MSNBC is reporting that nannies from Tibet are "all the rage" for New Yorkers hiring child-care workers. According to the article, Tibetan women are "very balanced and Zen," and can aid in the "spiritual development" of their young charges.

When I left New York City five years ago for the greener pastures of Philadelphia, nannies from the Philippines were all the rage, but I guess times they are a changing.

On the surface, this story doesn't surprise me. It almost sounds humorous, imagining how people cling to misguided stereotypes about people and/or cultures to select a nanny. But the thoughts and mindsets fueling these trends are quite alarming and ignorant. Shouldn't you pick the person who is most qualified for the position instead of the one who fits your Maria from the Sound of Music/Big Mama/subservient Asian/loving Latina/Caribbean queen image in your head? I'll never forget the story I read in the New York Times a couple of years ago, about a woman who hired a "proper English nanny" only to find out later she was a convicted murderer in her own country. But she was blind to seeing the woman's true character (even after her own kids complained) because she was fooled by the Mary Poppins accent. And lest we not forget Louise Woodward.

Is there ever a time when looking for a nanny of a specific racial background is okay? I think so. I for one wanted to find a "nanny" (FYI, I hate that word as it connotes a certain elitism that doesn't sit well with me.) that speaks Spanish to watch my son so he would have more opportunities to learn the language. My Korean friend who works 1 billion hours a week specifically looked for a Korean nanny who did not speak English so her son would be forced to learn Korean and would eat Korean food, etc. This was especially important to her as her own parents, the keepers of their family culture, live in another state.

Turns out, I hired a woman from the island of Grenada who spoke not a speck of Spanish to watch my son because I liked her the best. And I committed myself to reading more books in Spanish to my son.

What do you think about this trend? Is it okay to select a nanny/baby sitter based on her ethnic heritage? What has your experience been in this arena? I personally think about this stuff a lot. It's actually what inspired my new novel, Substitute Me, coming soon to a bookstore near you.

Peace.

It's Blogalicious 2009

Okay, sometimes do you wonder if you've been sleeping on the job because you're the last one to hear about the next big thing? That's how I feel, seeing as how I just now found out about, Blogalicious 2009. It's a conference for women bloggers of color by women bloggers of color. From the blogalicious website:

" For three days, black, white, Latina, Caribbean, Asian-Pacific, and Native-American bloggers, among other nationalities, will enjoy a weekend of entertaining discussions and extraordinary events, all experienced in the company of exceptional women. "

Created by the women of MamaLaw, the conference is being held in Atlanta, October 9-11, 2009 and looks to be very well organized, especially for a first-year conference. Sponsors include big-name companies like Huggies and Chevrolet, and the speakers run the gamut, ethnically and professionally. But best of all, knowing their audience, they're even providing child care. Registration is over at the end of the week, on September 25th, so if you want to go, start making your plans.

Anybody out there already planning on attending? Let me know.

Peace!

Burning Questions from the Meltingpot!

It's Friday and the week's been exciting, filling my head with tons of questions.

1. Is anybody else excited to see Chris Rock's new documentary, Good Hair, about Black women's hair culture, but still wondering why there were no women involved in writing or directing the film?

2. Does anybody else think Serena Williams should get her mouth washed out with soap for having such a potty mouth on the court, but still thinks folks are overreacting about the whole thing because a Black woman cursing is still unacceptable and just a wee bit scary to certain people?

3. Did anybody else roll their eyes when they found out that actress Katherine Heigl was adopting a baby girl from South Korea, and then feel like a major boob after finding out that Heigl's own sister is an adoptee from Korea, which then provided yet another glaring example of why you can never know the inspiration behind people's adoption decisions?

4. Is anybody else waiting with bated breath for Kanye West and Taylor Swift to record a duet together that will then spur a worldwide hip hop country movement?

5. Did anybody else read this article in Time magazine about the plight of Afro-Mexicans in Mexico and end up wondering if there is anywhere in this world where Africans were enslaved but in return they were provided even the smallest token of thanks?

So don't all speak at once. Just post your answers in the comments section. Have a great weekend.

Peace!

Teaching Children Heritage without the Baggage

Yesterday I was in my car, listening to my new favorite NPR radio show, Tell Me More, when this excellent segment came on about how parents can teach their children about their cultural heritage without passing along the pain, sorrow, shame and sadness that often comes with history.

Tell Me More hostess Michele Martin, assembled a panel of mothers; An African-American mother, A Native-American mother and a Jewish mother who was the child of a holocaust survivor, to talk about the issue. It was a riveting discussion and while I didn't come away with a clear step-by-step guide for talking to my kids about slavery and the Spanish inquisition, I was given some quality food for thought. And I appreciated hearing the topic being given airtime. I think I was most impressed with the Jewish woman's comment when she said, her mother, the holocaust survivor, imbued her kids with a sense of their own strength. She always told them (and I'm paraphrasing) "Look, if Hitler didn't get me, nobody can." In a certain way, that has to play better than being a victim. It gives children a sense of pride. Imagine a kid saying, "My mother bested one of the baddest bad men around!"

If you'd like to hear the interview click on this link and then scroll down to where you see the headline, "Teaching Children a Painful History." I'd like to hear what you think.

I'd also like to hear how you approach this topic with your own family.

Peace!

p.s (Photo is of artwork by David Behrens.)

You say knish, I say pretzel...

Raise your hand if you know what I"m talking about. If you have a family that includes members of color, you don't just jump in your car and drive to small towns in Red States without making sure that folks in those parts are comfortable with colored people. At least I don't.

So of course, when some friends told us we had to take our children to this quaint little amusement park in Lancaster, PA called Dutch Wonderland, the first thing I did was go to the website to see if they included children of color in their promotional materials. And they did. In fact, they showed quite a nice variety of families of color on the site, making me feel AOK about taking my mixie kids there.

Dutch Wonderland sits in the heart of Lancaster County, which is home to many Amish communities and throngs of Pennsylvania Dutch/Germans. I believe I read that it is also home to the soft pretzel. I've also heard that while Lancaster City has a sizable Black and Hispanic population, outside of the city it's pretty White and hostile to "outsiders." So I wasn't sure what to expect at this Wonderland. Well, before we even parked our car I could feel my meltingpot sensors rev up, as we parked between a Hispanic family on our left and an Indian family on our right.

Once we were in the park, I was truly astounded by the number of not just African-American families, but Hasidic Jews, Mennonites, and South East Asian families as well. I heard Spanish being spoken, as well as Yiddish. And everyone seemed interested in only one thing, having fun with their kids. It was heartwarming but I couldn't help but wonder what was the draw for such a diverse crowd. I mean the park was cute, but it wasn't all that.

So of course I did some investigating. Apparently the reason Hasidic families are drawn to Dutch Wonderland, is because they have a big ol' Kosher market and restaurant in the middle of the park. That's gotta make you feel welcome and cuts down on what you have to pack in your picnic basket. Or maybe it's the kinship with the Amish that they feel.

But it can't just be about the food can it? I mean we went because it was a lot closer and cheaper than Disneyland. Had I known it was going to be such a hotbed of diversity, I might have been inclined to check it out sooner. Anybody else ever heard of Dutch Wonderland? Can you think of how an amusement park in the middle of Amish country got such a colorful following? Maybe I'm making too much out of nothing. But even if I am, I'm still happy that the place exists. It just makes my American meltingpot feel that much warmer.

Even Though I Wrote the Book on Black Hair...

...doesn't mean I know a thing about keeping my children's hair looking good. Just as I have realized that being Black doesn't make me an expert on identity issues for my Mixed kids, being Black also doesn't help me keep my boys' curls shiny and bright. What a blow to my hairstorian ego to admit that I need help in the care and maintenance of my children's hair. Especially since they both have very different textures. One is more tight and frizzy, the other is looser and coarse. Thankfully, I've found helpful hints here on the internet from fellow bloggers like the awesome Teri LaFlesh over at Notes of A Former Mushroom Haired Child.

And this Sunday from 1-3pm I will be attending the Multicultural Youth Hair Workshop at One Salon & Boutique in Mt. Airy. Yes, it's a whole day dedicated to hair products, style and maintenance of Mixed hair. How cool is that? The cost to attend is $15, but you get a goodie bag stocked with product. Full disclosure, I will also be hawking my ?RU t-shirts at the event because they fit in nicely with the multicultural theme, but make no mistake, I'd be there taking notes no matter what.

If you're in the area, and you're looking for suggestions for your kid's hair, come to the salon. For more info call them at 215-242-0113. Trust me, your kids will thank you for getting help, instead of making them walk through life looking like their mother just didn't get it.

Peace.

Black Girl in China

How many of you ever stop and think what life is like for Black people living in China? And I don't mean ex-pats, I mean Afro-Chinese? Say what?!

I will raise my hand and admit, I've never thought about it at all. I think China, I think Chinese people. I don't think of ethnic diversity outside of the range of the Asian experience. Well, here's a story for you about the daughter of a Chinese mother and an African-American father, who has been raised by her mother in China as a Chinese citizen. She's become a bit of a cyber "celebrity" as of late because of all of the online comments being logged about her after she appeared on a televised Chinese beauty contest with her mother.

Apparently the girl is the result of an affair her mother had with a Black American man who left before she was born. Which means, mom cheated on her Chinese husband. All of that information was shared on Chinese television and opened up what appears to be a never-ending stream of comments from Chinese citizens. While many of the comments are vile and degrading, many are supportive of the girl. I'm of course fascinated because it starts a conversation about race in a country assumed to be completely homogenous. Which of course it is not. This girl cannot be the only Afro-Chinese child in existence, right?

If you happen to be Black and living in China, what has your experience been like? Does racism exist in China? If so, what does it look and feel like? Clearly it's not just a Black thing. I don't believe they covered these topics last year during all of the Olympics coverage, although it would have been a perfect time with all of the differently colored folks walking around. Okay, I'm listening.

Peace.

Me and My Temple

So some of you know that my latest gig is as a professor of journalism at Temple University. If you didn't know, well, the word is out now. Classes started this week.

As it turns out, I happen to be one of those people who looks for signs or meanings behind the things that happen in my life. I like to see patterns and purpose in just about everything. I am not obsessive about it, but I do believe to a great extent, things happen for a reason.

For example, my arrival at Temple. There are a gazillion colleges and universities in Philadelphia and the surrounding areas, but I ended up at this particular "state-related" institution. And I am loving it! Sure, I've always been a sucker for academia. I love college towns. I love the smell of books. And best of all, I love the academic calendar. My life starts in September and breaks in May. But beyond those obvious perks, there is something special about Temple that is getting my creative juices flowing.

Perhaps it is the fact that:

Temple Universitywas named as having the most diverse student population by the 2008 Princeton Review of the 366 Best Colleges.

Or

- Because Temple has campuses in Oviedo, Spain, Japan and Senegal, three places on my "must-visit" list. Can you say sabbatical?

Or

Maybe it's because I feel a certain kinship with Temple founder, Russel Conwell who in his lifetime worked as a journalist, author, minister and eventually a university professor and president. He traveled the world and wrote about it, inspiring others to dream bigger and do more to help their fellow man. Except for the minister part, we're like twin spirits. Kind of, sort of.

Whatever the reason, I am truly excited to be a part of the Temple experience. Wish me luck!